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Celebrities on drugs

Heidi Fleiss Busted For Some Sort Of Drug Thing

by Stuart Heritage

Heidi Fleiss is notorious for many things, like getting prostitutes to bang celebrities for cash and the way she looks like one of those bird-monsters from The Dark Crystal, but now we can add drugs to the list, too.

Heidi Fleiss was arrested in Nevada yesterday for – deep breath – investigation of driving under the influence and possessing drugs without a prescription.

We don’t know any details, but we think that probably means that Heidi Fleiss had some over-the-counter medicine on her, and we’re guessing it was Dulco Ease. Basically we’re insinuating that Heidi Fleiss’ bowel is jam-packed with rock-hard impacted turds.

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Heath Ledger: Looks Like It Definitely Was The Drugs After All

by Stuart Heritage

So it’s official – an accidental overdose of sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medication, painkillers and other prescription drugs killed Heath Ledger.

The New York City medical examiner has declared that Heath Ledger died from “acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine,” in a report that’s just been released.

As sad as this news is, we should focus on the positives – not only can Heath Ledger’s family continue with their lives knowing that at least it wasn’t suicide, but Heath Ledger looks set for pub quiz immortality by being the answer to the question “Which celebrity cause of death would get you the highest score in a game of Scrabble?”

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Sam Lutfi ‘Mashed Drugs Into Britney Spears’ Food’

by Stuart Heritage

So Britney Spears is locked away in a psychiatric hospital and Britney’s Dad is officially her conservator – that’s everything all cleaned up, right?

Oh goodness, no. Haven’t you people learnt that this Britney Spears malarkey is going to go on forever yet? Forever. Mark these words.

Anyway, the new piece of Britney Spears nonsense is that Britney’s mother Lynne Spears claims that Britney’s manager Sam Lutfi used to grind up drugs and mash them into Britney Spears’ food. Plus he hid her dog once, the big bloody bastard.

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Heath Ledger Druggy Party Video To Remain Unseen

by Stuart Heritage

Nobody knows if Heath Ledger died from a drug overdose or not, but there’s a video floating about of Heath at a drug-filled party, so probably yes.

That seems to be the assumption of Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, though – the shows were set to broadcast the Heath Ledger drug video tonight, but they’ve both changed their mind and will now leave the video unseen.

Why? Well it was either because they got a sudden pang of guilt about intruding on a celebrity’s intimate personal experiences or because they’d rather devote more airtime to discussing exactly how doolally Britney Spears went before she got carted off to the nuthouse. Who knows.

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Heath Ledger: Perhaps It Wasn’t The Drugs After All

by Stuart Heritage

Although initial reports claimed that Heath Ledger died from a drug overdose – accidental or otherwise – now it appears that they might have been way off the mark.

Because now sources apparently close to the investigation into Heath Ledger’s death suspect that he may have died because his start just stopped. Whether it was a heart attack or something else – or whether these natural death claims are completely inaccurate – remains to be seen. But if it is true, then at least Jack Nicholson was wrong the other day.

And that’s always heartwarming news.

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Lil Wayne’s Druggy Bus Bust

by Stuart Heritage

As the most hopelessly generic rapper in the entire blinking world, Lil Wayne has a number of responsibilities to uphold.

And, to be fair, Lil Wayne is doing a noble job at sticking to them – like the one about all his songs being exactly identical, the one about giving said songs unpleasant names like Prostitute Flange and the one about constantly getting arrested.

Especially that last one, because Lil Wayne has just been arrested for riding around in a tour bus so stuffed with drugs that he had to poke his head out of the sunroof to breathe. Or something.

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Heath Ledger’s Apartment Apparently Full Of Drugs

by Stuart Heritage

Heath Ledger’s initial autopsy might not have thrown up any clues as to why he died, but NYPD sources might have put their finger on one possible answer.

According to TMZ, five different types of pills were found in the apartment where Heath Ledger died – all prescibed to him – including Valium, Lorazepam, Xanax and two different types of sleeping pills.

However, while we await the toxicology report that’s due late last week, pneumonia has been resolutely ruled out as a cause of Heath Ledger’s sudden death.

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Amy Winehouse Scarpers To The Crack Clinic

by Stuart Heritage

As Amy Winehouse knows, you haven’t got a drug problem until a national newspaper films you tootling on a crack pipe.

But now that the whole wide world has seen her huffing crack like it was going out of fashion, it looks as if Amy Winehouse has reconsidered a spell at that rehab that they kept trying to make her go to.

Still, though, maybe Amy Winehouse will benefit from this – it’s only through great suffering that great art emerges. Great art or embarrassing off-kilter wailing. We can never remember which one of those is right.

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What? Amy Winehouse Is On Crack?!

by Stuart Heritage

So that’s why Amy Winehouse was so weird at her husband’s court appearance last week – she was off her face on all sorts of drugs.

Yes, drugs. It turns out, you see, that Amy Winehouse sometimes takes drugs. And sometimes, just sometimes, tabloid newspapers are there to secretly video it, like they were on Thursday night. The Sun caught Amy popping Valium, snorting lines of ecstasy powder and cocaine and, yes, honking on her crack pipe.

But the good news is that the drug binge didn’t give Amy Winehouse a near-death overdose experience again. So at least she’s getting better at it.

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Britney Spears Wants To Check Her Kids For Drugs

by Stuart Heritage

Thought that Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister getting knocked up was as bad as it got for the family? Not even close – Britney Spears now apparently thinks her two baby sons have been taking drugs.

Well, sort of – Britney Spears has decided to turn on the attack in her child custody battle with Kevin Federline by apparently claiming that he smokes pot in front of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that as a result they’re breathing in all his second-hand drug-smoke. It’s thought that Britney Spears was alerted to this possibility by the way that her kids sitting around staring into space and giggling all day. However this might not mean that the Federline-Spears kids are stoned – it might just mean that they’re either a) children or b) genetically very stupid. Really, the truth is that it could be any of these things.

Thought that Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister getting knocked up was as bad as it got for the family? Not even close - Britney Spears now apparently thinks her two baby sons have been taking drugs. Well, sort of - Britney Spears has decided to turn on the attack in her child custody battle with Kevin Federline by apparently claiming that he smokes pot in front of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that as a result they're breathing in all his second-hand drug-smoke. It's thought that Britney Spears was alerted to this possibility by the way that her kids sitting around staring into space and giggling all day. However this might not mean that the Federline-Spears kids are stoned - it might just mean that they're either a) children or b) genetically very stupid. Really, the truth is that it could be any of these things.
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