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Celebrities in hospital

Britney Spears Gets Her Brain Tested

by Stuart Heritage

It’s been a few hours since Britney Spears was wheeled out of her house on a stretcher, possibly on drugs, after a dispute with Kevin Federline over custody of their children.

So what more do we know now? Well, the main news is that Britney Spears has gone to hospital for tests. Not maths or spelling tests – it’s far too early to put a strain like that on someone as fragile as Britney Spears – but psychological tests. After a run of weird behaviour that’s lasted long over a year, doctors will soon check Britney Spears’ system for drugs and alcohol and then begin to assess her mentally to see if she’s a danger to herself, her kids or anyone else around her. This process might take anything up to three days, which means by Monday morning we’ll know if Britney Spears is a heartbreaking sufferer of a mental illness of just a bit of an overdramatic numpty.

It's been a few hours since Britney Spears was wheeled out of her house on a stretcher, possibly on drugs, after a dispute with Kevin Federline over custody of their children. So what more do we know now? Well, the main news is that Britney Spears has gone to hospital for tests. Not maths or spelling tests - it's far too early to put a strain like that on someone as fragile as Britney Spears - but psychological tests. After a run of weird behaviour that's lasted long over a year, doctors will soon check Britney Spears' system for drugs and alcohol and then begin to assess her mentally to see if she's a danger to herself, her kids or anyone else around her. This process might take anything up to three days, which means by Monday morning we'll know if Britney Spears is a heartbreaking sufferer of a mental illness of just a bit of an overdramatic numpty.
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Britney Spears In Hospital After K-Fed Custody Row

by Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears has been taken to hospital on a stretcher following a fight between Britney and Kevin Federline.

Details are a little vague at the moment, but it seems as though police were called to the home of Britney Spears a few hours ago because she was refusing to hand her children over to Kevin Federline at the time appointed by their custody case and a dispute had broken out.

Not that it was just the police that turned up, though – in total it’s reported that six police cars, some ambulances, fire tucks and a police helicopter also showed up too. Just as well, because Britney Spears was apparently found to be under the influence of an unknown substance. As such, paramedics have recently removed Britney Spears from her home conscious on a stretcher and taken her to a nearby hospital for ‘medical evaluation’ while Kevin Federline looks after the children.

It all sounds worryingly serious, and the last thing that Britney needs now that her lawyer has just quit, but don’t panic too much – it’s claimed that Britney Spears still managed to flip off the paparazzi from her stretcher, which we’re taking as her way of telling us that she’ll be just fine.

We’ll no doubt have more on this when things firm up.

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Britney Spears Wheeled Out Of House After Refusing To Turn Over Kids: Reports – MTV

Britney Spears has been taken to hospital on a stretcher following a fight between Britney and Kevin Federline. Details are a little vague at the moment, but it seems as though police were called to the home of Britney Spears a few hours ago because she was refusing to hand her children over to Kevin Federline at the time appointed by their custody case and a dispute had broken out. Not that it was just the police that turned up, though - in total it's reported that six police cars, some ambulances, fire tucks and a police helicopter also showed up too. Just as well, because Britney Spears was apparently found to be under the influence of an unknown substance. As such, paramedics have recently removed Britney Spears from her home conscious on a stretcher and taken her to a nearby hospital for 'medical evaluation' while Kevin Federline looks after the children. It all sounds worryingly serious, and the last thing that Britney needs now that her lawyer has just quit, but don't panic too much - it's claimed that Britney Spears still managed to flip off the paparazzi from her stretcher, which we're taking as her way of telling us that she'll be just fine. We'll no doubt have more on this when things firm up. Read more: Britney Spears Wheeled Out Of House After Refusing To Turn Over Kids: Reports - MTV
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David Gest Has ‘Heart Attack’

by Stuart Heritage

It’s being reported that I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here star and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli David Gest has been rushed to hospital with chest pains and respiratory problems, leading to fears that he’s suffered a heart attack.

Apparently David Gest was rushed to a private London hospital early this morning, where his condition is now being described as stable. According to David Gest’s spokeswoman:

“At 5.30am, David Gest was admitted to hospital, after suffering from severe chest pains and respiratory problems. David is stable and receiving the best medical attention. We are awaiting a further update from doctors.”

Hopefully this means that this supposed heart attack wasn’t a serious one, and that David Gest will be able to return to his job producing the inexplicable touring stage-based autobiography David Gest Is Nuts – My Life as a Musical starring Shalamar and Gloria Gaynor.

However, we can’t help feeling that fate is starting to punish anyone who attended David Gest and Liza Minnelli’s wedding back in 2002. First Liza Minnelli collapses and falls off a stage and now David Gest is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. That means it’s the turn of the bridesmaids next – quick, someone call Martine McCutcheon and tell her to hide herself safely in a cupboard away from the public eye for about 70 or 80 years.

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David Gest Rushed To Hospital – Metro

It's being reported that I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here star and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli David Gest has been rushed to hospital with chest pains and respiratory problems, leading to fears that he's suffered a heart attack. Apparently David Gest was rushed to a private London hospital early this morning, where his condition is now being described as stable. According to David Gest's spokeswoman: "At 5.30am, David Gest was admitted to hospital, after suffering from severe chest pains and respiratory problems. David is stable and receiving the best medical attention. We are awaiting a further update from doctors." Hopefully this means that this supposed heart attack wasn't a serious one, and that David Gest will be able to return to his job producing the inexplicable touring stage-based autobiography David Gest Is Nuts - My Life as a Musical starring Shalamar and Gloria Gaynor. However, we can't help feeling that fate is starting to punish anyone who attended David Gest and Liza Minnelli's wedding back in 2002. First Liza Minnelli collapses and falls off a stage and now David Gest is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. That means it's the turn of the bridesmaids next - quick, someone call Martine McCutcheon and tell her to hide herself safely in a cupboard away from the public eye for about 70 or 80 years. Read more: David Gest Rushed To Hospital - Metro
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Tara Reid Knackers Her Body in Bali

by Stuart Heritage

Although Tara Reid’s post-American Pie career has hinted at invincibility – full of non-stop partying punctuated by morale-sapping cameos on Scrubs – her recent Bali trip has proved that she’s only human.

You see, Tara Reid has become the latest almost perfectly sober young woman to fall foul of Bali’s notoriously uneven nightclub flooring. Reports suggest that after only ‘a couple of drinks’ at a Bali nightspot earlier this week, Tara Reid ‘lost her footing’ and fell hard enough to be hospitalised. Luckily the accident wasn’t serious enough to postpone the release of Tara Reid’s newest movie Land of Canaan, which will still be coming to a low-rent cut-price barely-watched digital movies on demand service near you next year.

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Mary-Kate Olsen’s Kidney Conundrum

by Shawn Lindseth

Hospitals are a holy sanctuary. It is within their walls that all of mankind goes to find healing, and also to have large misshapen moles removed. Moles like the one our Uncle Albert had on his lip through most of the seventies. That thing was so big we always just thought he was in a [...]

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