Articles tagged with: celebrities in court
OK, first an apology for the misleading title - Mel Gibson has been allowed to drink for ages, but now he gets to do it without a judge disapprovingly scowling at him for it.
Mel Gibson has just been told by a judge that he no longer needs to attend courtroom progress reports for the probation he was given when he got drunk and drove around screaming bad things about the Jews that time.
However, just because he doesn't have to appear in court, Mel Gibson still has 18 months of probation left to battle through alone. Which means, although he's allowed to get drunk, we'll have to wait until the middle of 2009 before Mel Gibson can load up on booze, break the law and use the arrest as an excuse to howl Jewish insults into the sky like some sort of sugartit-fixated werewolf again without fear of jail.
After failing to whip up a frenzy in Hell’s Kitchen, Lee Ryan - our favourite expletive-uttering former boyband member - has since picked up the pieces and moved on.
Sadly, Lee Ryan hasn’t been over in Asia protecting the elephants from dying. Instead, he’s been busy allegedly slapping taxi drivers around and
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The best thing about Sienna Miller is that she really doesn't have a bloody clue.
If you've seen Sienna Miller in action for even a couple of seconds, you'll realise that she's such an unashamed publicity-whore that she'd hump a goat on a waterslide if it resulted in any amount of newspaper coverage. But despite being this colossal attention-hoover, Sienna Miller actually hates it when people take her photo, and is happy to go to court to tell everyone about.
Sienna Miller was in court yesterday blathering on about how the paparazzi 'hunts' her, to help an upper-class tosswipe friend who was facing a paparazzi-related criminal damage charge. And to back up her attack, Sienna Miller has vowed never to be in another newspaper agai... oh, sorry - we got real life confused with wishful thinking for a second there.
The warm-up has included accusations of violence, accusations of prostitution, accusations of infidelity and a set of dodgy naked photos that frankly freak us out every time we even mention them.
But now it's time for the main event - at 10am today, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills started getting divorced.
The five-day High Court Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce is taking place behind closed doors so details will be scant, but we do know that Heather Mills is legally representing herself, so there's a distinct chance that her entire case is going to revolve around shrieking the word 'paedophile' in a funny voice. Or red jelly penises.
We know. You thought that all this kerfuffle about Britney Spears would die down now that has to spend the next fortnight locked up in a psychiatric hospital.
Chance'd be a fine thing. No, instead focus has shifted away from Britney Spears' well-being to all of Britney Spears' stuff. Yesterday in court effectively saw a fight between Britney and her Dad about whether or not he should be her conservator while she's banged up in the nuthouse. Turns out he can.
So now Jamie Spears is in charge of Britney's estate and finances, plus he'll also be legally obliged to shave his hair off, drink 20 Red Bulls a day and have his vagina on full display whenever he gets out of a car. Hey, we don't make the rules.
Hello, and welcome to the billionth edition of Britney Spears Does A Lot Of Dumb Shit That Couldn't Possibly Make A Jot Sense To Anyone, Not Even An Idiot Or A Child.
Today: Britney Spears goes to court to get her kids back but forgets to actually go all the way into the courtroom. Again.
Honestly, this stuff better be entertaining for Britney Spears, because it's starting to drain our will to live.
Ask anyone what they'd least like to happen to them during a court appearance and 'Amy Winehouse turning up late with a weird haircut and loudly screeching her love' would figure pretty high.
So Britney Spears heeded the warning to go to court for her custody hearing yesterday - she just didn't heed the part about actually going into the courtroom itself.
After being strongly advised that the only way she wouldn't lose her kids was to attend yesterday's custody hearing, it's been reported that Britney Spears turned up to court four hours late, circled the building a few times and went home, rubberstamping the loss of her children for the next month in the process.
But never mind Britney Spears - where does her semi-appearance leave our 'arse out' promise from yesterday? One cheek? Do you get one cheek? We're so confused.
