Angelina Jolie already has enough kids for a fair-to-middling laser tag team, but that’s hardly enough - look, you know what’s coming.

Despite have six of the little sods running around already, Angelina Jolie has decided that she’s going to go on the hunt for more. During an interview on the Today show, Angelina Jolie was asked if she’s going to adopt any more children, and she responded by nodding like a wizened old bearded monk who lives on top of a mountain.

Adopting a seventh child is all well and good, but Angelina Jolie has obviously forgotten one important point – having already adopted children from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam, the most impoverished place left to her is the Isle Of Wight. And, urgh, who’d want a baby from the Isle Of Wight?

Angelina Jolie will do anything to make you go and see her new movie The Changeling. Literally anything. She’ll cover her body in tattoos, she’ll go on the front of magazines with babies chewing on her knockers – literally anything that draws attention away from the fact that The Changeling looks like the sort of dreary nonsense that people only make because they think they’ll get an Oscar out of it at the end.

And Angelina Jolie is even willing to roll out her greatest hit for the cause as well – the good old adoption speculation.

You see, it isn’t enough that Angelina Jolie already has six children – three of her own and three shipped in from elsewhere – because it’s Angelina’s life ambition to keep adopting children until she’s absolutely exhausted every single possible combination of letters and numbers that she can use as a kid’s silly name.

And that’s why, during an interview on the Today show yesterday, Angelina Jolie admitted that she was on the look-out for another baby to adopt. People reports:

The wheels are already turning in Angelina Jolie’s head, the Changeling star admitted in a lengthy Today show interview Thursday: She and Brad Pitt are considering another adoption. “Soon?” asked host Matt Lauer when the actress and mother of six nodded in the affirmative.

Now, don’t expect Angelina Jolie to go and adopt another child tomorrow, because she can’t – her baby twins are only three and a half months old, and the adoption process can’t start until they reach six months – but time is of the essence. After all, one of the children has a knife now, so Angelina Jolie will probably need to start adopting new babies quite prolifically soon, otherwise we get the feeling that her child tally is going to decrease somewhat.

Nobody knows where or how Angelina Jolie is going to adopt her next baby from, but the competition is going to be tight – it’s well-known now that if Angelina Jolie adopts you, you get to live a life of unbridled luxury. That’s why we’re hoping that Angelina starts a Britain’s Got Talent-style elimination process of all the world’s most harrowingly impoverished children to whittle down her options.

It makes perfect sense – you get 10,000 kids in, ask them to tell you a sad story, make them do a dance or sing or juggle or something, get rid of the rubbish ones and in the end, bingo, you’re left with a bald midget landmine amputee orphan from Chad who can play the ukulele. Imagine how many magazines that would sell.

Angelina Jolie is losing her touch – she hasn't adopted a third-world orphan for almost ten months now.

The old Angelina Jolie we know wouldn't be nearly as tardy – give her ten months a couple of years ago and she'd have absorbed a country the size of Chad into her bulging rainbow-coloured multicultural orphanarium – but at least Angelina's making up for lost time by preparing to adopt another Ethiopian baby.

Yes, we know that Angelina Jolie has got an Ethiopian baby already, but getting another one is a strategic move to prise David Banda out of Madonna's claws come the next round of high-stakes pro-am celebrity adoption baby-swapsies.

Angelina Jolie might only star in films that make people roll their eyes and avoid them at all costs, but at least she's a good mother. Did we say good? We meant prolific. Angelina Jolie is a prolific mother, and has babies from Cambodia, Ethiopia, Vietnam and up her own mary. But that's not enough.

Because Angelina Jolie knows that having four babies is frankly rubbish – it's nowhere near enough for her to break the world record for fastest journey to the North Pole on a sled using babies instead of huskies – and that's why she's angling for number five.

Not literally angling – she's not going to just pull up alongside Africa in a boat and dangle food over a primary school from a string until some starving idiot falls for her plan – but Angelina Jolie's brother James Haven has let slip that Angelina Jolie has plans to adopt another baby from Ethiopia. According to Now:

'They are creating one big family and will keep adopting as long as they are able to,' says James… They want to open their arms to another little girl from the same country as Zahara, who was born in Ethiopia. 'Angie and Brad talk about how much they have been taught by their kids,' James tells the Daily Mirror. 'In many respects Angie saved Zahara's life and there are so many more children whose lives she could save and she talks about that constantly.' 
 

However, if this is true, then Angelina Jolie is playing a dangerous game by adopting another Ethiopian – along with Zahara there'll be two Ethiopians, who could easily gang up on the Vietnamese boy, the Cambodian boy and the biological Jolie-Pitt. Then the others would have to form an alliance and start some kind of bloody massacre to overrun their Ethiopian oppressors, perhaps using Shiloh as a human shield. It won't be pretty, and Angelina Jolie should really think about investing in a Swiss orphan to act as the neutral middle ground.

Either that or this new Ethiopian baby won't be properly adopted by Angelina Jolie, and this is all just phase one of her back-up program to keep understudies for each of her kids to mine for organs in case anything goes wrong with her real adopted kids.

Whatever, if Angelina Jolie really is planning to adopt another child, then maybe number six should be a sheepdog. They're cheaper than nannies, you see. And they chase sticks. Honestly, have you ever tried to make a nanny chase a stick? It's bloody impossible.

Read more:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to adopt another African daughter – Now