John Mayer To Be On TV Much More Than Anyone Wants Hats off to CBS - it's thought long and hard about how to end to the financial crisis and, by jingo, it's done it! How? Why, by giving John Mayer his own TV show, of course. No, bear with us. You see, if there's an hour a week where John Mayer is on TV, it's bound to scare the public into rushing from their homes screaming - straight to the high street. Thanks to CBS and John Mayer, we're sure the tinned food, DIY bunker and shotgun industries will all easily avoid collapse! Seriously, John Mayer's got a TV show. We're terrified.

American Big Brother In A Flap About Autistic ‘Retards’

Doesn't matter where you're from, Big Brother always manages to recruit some heavy-duty arsehandles.

In the UK, Big Brother mainly comes undone whenever racism is brought up - sometimes to the extent where entire South Asian subcontinents communally burn little wicker Jade Goodys.

Not in America, though - mental illness is their thing. The latest season of Big Brother there has come under fire because a housemate called Adam decided to reveal that he thinks all autistic people are 'retards' who have bad haircuts. Which is remarkably insensitive, given that up to 85% of all Big Brother housemates worldwide are probably a little bit retarded themselves.

What? It's true.