Posts tagged as:

cats

Let’s just face facts right here and now. We’re pathetic. All of us. You reading this, us writing it and especially those that have to edit it. We all feel lonely sometimes and where some of us can just walk into a public house, identify someone they would like to engage in coitus with and then leave with them, many of us lack that ‘cutting edge’ or, as it is sometimes ominously known, killer instinct.

While we’re all sitting in the corner of those pubs looking at those people and wishing that we were them. Those people with the confidence and the sheer bravado to just  say what they want, maintain eye contact and end up getting what they want.

We sit in the corner looking at the other sad, sunken faces around us, unable to even make eye contact with them. Everything has gone wrong with your life and seeing these people, able to show confidence in their lives seems to exacerbate the lack of companionship in yours.

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10 - Got four minutes? Like unfunny jokes told in an unfunny way? Then you’re going to love this…

9 - Animals on drugs – Cracked

8 - The Muppets: a history lesson – CNN

7 - A man gets needlessly worked up about how your carton of orange juice looks – Johnmamus

6 - We picked a David After Dentist parody at random. And here it is – YouTube

5 - A dreadful man releases a dreadful record - Popjustice

4 - Five ways that your mother can ruin your life – Regretfulmorning

3 - Confused by all the time travel on Lost? Well, read this. It’ll make it worse – io9

2 - An Oscar-style obituary for the soft drinks that are no longer with us – Gunaxin

1 – The greatest Japanese cat-based music video EVER - I Am Bored

You’ve been waiting all your life. Go on, do it already!

And for the record, this is something he recorded for the fans to show them all his majestic pre-gig rituals.

cats clothes creased foldedA lot of good so far this year. Lorra-lorra bad too.

Folded:

  • Control out on DVD (stirring account of Joy Division front man Ian Curtis’ descent into martyrdom)
  • City of Vice (if Programmes For Schools were like this in our day we would have stayed there longer)
  • Juno (she’s a smart-alec kid you want to slap, but this is an okay film and no deep-seated hatred of the lead character should stand in your way)

Creased:

  • David Jordan (a dash of Wizbit, a smidgen of Bond, just a touch of Jona Lewie and a great big dollop of shite)
  • iTunes (never far away from anyone’s shit-list, this breaks down more often than Britney)
  • Chair-kicking teens (you heard right the first time – your feet will be torn off and used as doorstops. Understood?)

A lot of good so far this year. Lorra-lorra bad too. Folded: * Control out on DVD (stirring account of Joy Division front man Ian Curtis’ descent into martyrdom) * Cats wearing clothes (always funny - like children falling over or Ruth Madoc) * Free weights (gyms are for narcissistic ladyboys) * City of Vice (if Programmes For Schools were like this in our day we would have stayed there longer) * Juno (she’s a smart-alec kid you want to slap, but this is an okay film and no deep-seated hatred of the lead character should stand in your way) Creased: * BBC Breakfast MILFs (we’re all for a cheap morning erection, but come on) * Leather bomber jackets (everyone has got one now. Vintage Cafe Racer, that’s the way to go) * David Jordan (a dash of Wizbit, a smidgen of Bond, just a touch of Jona Lewie and a great big dollop of shite) * iTunes (never far away from anyone’s shit-list, this breaks down more often than Britney) * Chair-kicking teens (you heard right the first time - your feet will be torn off and used as doorstops. Understood?)

cats dogs petsIt’s fair to say that we are a planet of animal lovers and different nations have their own unique way of looking after various creatures.

In western civilisation, we often raise various animals from birth and look after them until they make that sad final visit to the vet or to the toilet to be flushed away.

Other countries in the Far East also have a love for our cuddly domestic pets. The slight difference here being that they prefer to serve them up on a bed of crunchy rocket salad drizzled in sweet and sour sauce. Read More >>>

It’s fair to say that we are a planet of animal lovers and different nations have their own unique way of looking after various creatures. In western civilisation, we often raise various animals from birth and look after them until they make that sad final visit to the vet or to the toilet to be flushed away. Other countries in the Far East also have a love for our cuddly domestic pets. The slight difference here being that they prefer to serve them up on a bed of crunchy rocket salad drizzled in sweet and sour sauce. In pet stakes, there are two major players when it comes to the nation’s number one pet. You’re either a cat or a dog person. Everyone has their favourite and hecklerspray is no exception. We will now sum up why dogs completely rule and why cats should piss off back to the corner they came out of.