HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Badvertising: For When You’re Really, Really Desperate

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Let’s just face facts right here and now. We’re pathetic. All of us. You reading this, us writing it and especially those that have to edit it. We all feel lonely sometimes and where some of us can just walk into a public house, identify someone they would like to engage in coitus with and then leave with them, many of us lack that ‘cutting edge’ or, as it is sometimes ominously known, killer instinct.

While we’re all sitting in the corner of those pubs looking at those people and wishing that we were them. Those people with the confidence and the sheer bravado to just ?say what they want, maintain eye contact and end up getting what they want.

We sit in the corner looking at the other sad, sunken faces around us, unable to even make eye contact with them. Everything has gone wrong with your life and seeing these people, able to show confidence in their lives seems to exacerbate the lack of companionship in yours.

Continue reading...

WEBTHUMP! Thursday 12 February 2009

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – Got four minutes? Like unfunny jokes told in an unfunny way? Then you’re going to love this…

9 – Animals on drugs – Cracked

8 – The Muppets: a history lesson – CNN

7 – A man gets needlessly worked up about how your carton of orange juice looks – Johnmamus

6 – We picked a David After Dentist parody at random. And here it is – YouTube

5 – A dreadful man releases a dreadful record – Popjustice

4 – Five ways that your mother can ruin your life – Regretfulmorning

Continue reading...

You! Watch Pete Doherty Take A Soapless Bath Now!

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

You’ve been waiting all your life. Go on, do it already!

And for the record, this is something he recorded for the fans to show them all his majestic pre-gig rituals.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

cats clothes creased foldedA lot of good so far this year. Lorra-lorra bad too.

Folded:

  • Control out on DVD (stirring account of Joy Division front man Ian Curtis’ descent into martyrdom)
  • Cats wearing clothes (always funny – like children falling over or Ruth Madoc)
  • Free weights (gyms are for narcissistic ladyboys)
  • City of Vice (if Programmes For Schools were like this in our day we would have stayed there longer)
  • Juno (she’s a smart-alec kid you want to slap, but this is an okay film and no deep-seated hatred of the lead character should stand in your way)
Continue reading...

Everybody Is Wrong – Cats

January 16th, 2008 By Matthew Laidlow

cats dogs petsIt’s fair to say that we are a planet of animal lovers and different nations have their own unique way of looking after various creatures.

In western civilisation, we often raise various animals from birth and look after them until they make that sad final visit to the vet or to the toilet to be flushed away.

Other countries in the Far East also have a love for our cuddly domestic pets. The slight difference here being that they prefer to serve them up on a bed of crunchy rocket salad drizzled in sweet and sour sauce.

Continue reading...

HecklerSpray.com Copyright © 2020 · · Terms · Privacy · DMCA · Contact