Cate Blanchett - HecklerSpray

The 5 Best Moments from the 2014 Oscars

October 26th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the Oscars happened Sunday night and, I’ve got to say, it was a pretty great show. Ellen DeGeneres was an absolutely delightful host, there were some solid musical numbers, a bunch of beautiful people won acting Oscars and gave lovely speeches, Brad and Angelina were there, Gravity didn’t win Best Picture, so all in all it was a great night for me.

However, all these “nice” moments weren’t what made the show so great for me. Sure, I like a moving speech and Matthew McConaughey’s “Alright alright alright” as much as anyone, but it was these five moments, in no particular order, that made say “Yep, this Oscar show is special.”

BAFTA? More Like Boring Ass Fashion Time, Amirite?

February 17th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I love awards season, because aside from the fact I obviously love movies and tv and music and celebrities, I like to see fancy bitches be fancy in clothes I could never possibly afford. I expected a lot from the BAFTAs this weekend because British hoes are supposed to be super fashionable, but I was sadly left with a major case of the “Mehs”.

The fact that it isn’t 1999 and Angelina Jolie was the biggest risk taker on the red carpet says A? LOT, because that bitch hasn’t pulled a genuine fashion risk in years, and her fashion choice this year wasn’t even that risky, but I guess that’s kind of my point.

Meryl Streep is up for her Millionth Oscar! A Rundown of the Nominees

January 16th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

What Beyonc? is to music, Meryl Streep is to film: the motherfucking Queen. So bow down, bitches, because Meryl just got nominated for the EIGHTEENTH time! Home girl has not only broken the nominations record, she’s shattered it, taken the broken pieces, melted them down, and had them made into an honorary Oscar for being the top bitch in Hollywood.

Do I think Meryl will pick up her fourth Oscar? No, probably not. Not that she doesn’t deserve it, because let’s face it, Meryl Streep could do a guest spot on Criminal Minds and it’d probably be Oscar worthy, but if they gave Meryl the Oscar every time she deserved it all other actresses would basically give up. That’s why they space out her Oscars, you know?

Cate Blanchett To Star In The Hobbit Even Though Her Character Isn’t In The Stupid Book In The First Place

December 8th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Lord of the Rings fans are some of the most peculiar people you’ll ever meet. hecklerspray was once faced with a nutter who had an exact copy of The Ring on his finger, as well as a backpack, identical to one sported by some hairy toed character from the book. He was sat in a pub and didn’t see anything wrong with dressing up like a pipe smoking tramp from the Shire.

Another fan informed us that they wrote out the first 200 pages of The Hobbit by hand, changing ‘Bilbo’ for their own name.

So it goes without saying that there’s a bunch of strange sorts out there who will be already swooning in anticipation at the prospect of the new Hobbit film… however, it isn’t exactly faithful to the text as Peter Jackson has decided to throw some eye-candy at it in the shape of Cate Blanchett.

Movie Review: Robin Hood

August 5th, 2012 By David Schwartz

In true Robin Hood spirit, Ridley Scott has taken ?237million from various rich people to make a very poor movie.

Robin Hood? More like Rotten Hood.

Rotten acting, rotten script, rotten idea, very rotten accents.

In fact, Robin Hood is so bad, I have to confess I did something in a cinema that I have not done for a very long time. No, not that! Or that! And that's just sick! No, I am talking about falling asleep. Yep, while Russell Crowe was busy cutting chunks out of British history, I was happily snoring away and was only awoken by some French woman angrily jabbing me in the chest with one of her Gitanes. In fact, I missed about 45 minutes, which, for all I know, could have been the most gripping three-quarters of an hour of cinema ever made.

Cate Blanchett Gets A Bonk On Her Noggin

September 3rd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Cate Blanchett knows pain – she starred in the last Indiana Jones film, after all, and even watching that was agony.

And she knows danger, too. Yesterday Cate Blanchett appeared in a stage version of A Streetcar Named Desire in Sydney. That in itself is pretty dangerous – asking a group of Australians to follow a narrative that doesn’t feature a comedy transvestite burping out television theme-tunes sounds like a recipe for widespread violence to us – but there was more to come.

Because Cate Blanchett got hit on the head with a radio during the play. And she bled a bit. Danger.

Cate Blanchett Names New Baby After A Type Of Rock Or Something

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Cate Blanchett has just given birth to her third baby, and let’s hope there’s not a fourth because she’s clearly already starting to run out of names.

Why? Because, in what appears to be a deliberate attempt to ensure that the child gets beaten up at school, gets passed over for every job it applies for and dies alone and unmarried in several decades’ time, Cate Blanchett has decided to name her new son Ignatius Martin.

Which admittedly isn’t a type of rock at all – we just said that because ‘Ignatius’ sounds a bit like ‘igneous’. But would you have read a story with the headline Cate Blanchett Names New Baby After The Third Bishop Of Antioch And A Student Of The Apostle John Who, Prior To His Martyrdom In Rome, Wrote A Series Of Letters Which Have Been Preserved As An Example Of The Theology Of The Earliest Christians? No. No you effing wouldn’t have.