The 90s were a decade in which hecklerspray spent most of its time picking food off of dead cats under parental supervision.

The things we were picking off them were typically ice cream, maraschino cherries and large dollops of whipped cream. Our father was a dinnerware-themed taxidermist, you see, and our mother’s passion was frozen dairy – the rarest of combinations.

Half the time we were eating milk products out of hollowed dead mice, we did so in front of Seinfeld, which was something we westerners like to call a ‘sitcom.’

Speaking of which – it’s coming back you know.

Kinda.

Larry David is half the brains behind Seinfeld – a show that historians will one day probably refer to as the nineties answer to Melrose Place. We know this because we are a historian.

Anyway, when Seinfeld went off the air, it was no doubt to rivers of tears flowing anywhere typically regarded as downhill. When the show ended it seemed like the entire cast went underground for a bit, surfacing only to berate black audience members, stick their thoraxes into things and YouTube around in McDonald’s commercials.

Since the end the world has been anxiously waiting to see which new show would claim their soupy crown – and you know what we got? We got that Two Half Men program – which, although written terribly, has done wonders for the equal treatment of amputees.

But this is no time to worry and woe about the piss-poor state of most sitcoms today – not when the four major Seinfeld players are currently together filming a story arc set to appear on Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm.

No really – look what Entertainment Weekly said about it:

“EW has learned exclusively that the four stars of NBC’s long-running comedy [Seinfeld] — Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards — will be featured in a multiple-episode story arc on HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall. The cameos will mark the first time that all four actors have appeared together in a scripted TV show since Seinfeld went off the air nearly 11 years ago.”

Plot points are being tightly guarded but we have a suspicion there’ll be a tie in to Seinfeld’s Bee Movie II, the sequel in which Barry has to go to ‘Nam to violently save all of his captured war buddies.

We think we speak for the entire free world when we say that is something we’d definitely pay to see.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Folks, we’ve got some good news, some bad news and some horrible news. Which do you want first?

Let’s start with the good news, shall we: The entire cast of dire TV twaddle Skins are to be made redundant! Yeah! No more undeveloped twatty stereotypes with better hair than you!

That would be so sweet if it weren't for the bad news. 

The twatty stereotypical undeveloped characters are to be replaced by twattier further stereotyped undeveloped characters with even better hair. Fuck. The good news isn’t quite so good anymore, is it? Pretend you haven’t read this bit. Delete it from your brains. It hasn’t happened.

Still reading? More fool you. It gets worse:

After beginning nationwide open auditions recently and announcing that they’re on the look-out for an “Eastern European male and identical twin sisters,” executive producer Bryan Elson confirmed that all current characters will be axed.

This probably means The Cheeky Girls are going to be in the new series saying excellent dialogue such as:

“Towny, why you’re cock not werk?”

And:

“Ow fyuck my pyeriod is own. I bleed downstaars. Dis is sow like reeall lif. Let's dance for no reason.”

The rumours are true, the head of Channel Four is definitely a peanut. Unsalted. With no sense of reality. Obviously. Peanuts don’t have that generally. We’re just clarifying in case anyone from Channel Four is reading. Hi people from Channel Four! You’re dead good at telly! That would be so true if it weren’t false. So close.

The horrible news is that Bono is still alive.

Read more:

Skins Cast Axed! - Zoo