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It is a truth passed down from generation to generation amongst Hollywood’s glittering elite. There’s no reason to make something if you can remake something. Hollywood film executives are willing to remake or reboot any film or franchise in the pursuit of artistic fulfilment*.

From tat like The Day The Earth Stood Still to horror classics like Dracula, it’s nigh-on impossible to escape the pervasive influence of the Hollywood remake in modern cinema. Hollywood is even willing to remake remakes and reboot reboots. One need only look at the treatment of The Incredible Hulk & Spiderman to see that Hollywood’s pursuit of film-making perfection** is a rolling juggernaut of epic proportions.

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Pete DohertyThe Sun has reported that official NME hero and tortured genius significantly lacking in genius and overcompensating in torturing, Peter Doherty, is running out of money and is in the process of assembling “a crack team of crimebusters to sniff out where (it) has gone”.

First of all, who knew The Sun could be so bloody, bloody funny? Crack team! Sniff! Brilliant.

Daniel Kitson, Tony Law, Stewart Lee, John Hegley and Doug Stanhope combined couldn’t hope to come up with a single joke as original or brilliant.

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