Not specifically because they stood in our way, mind you, but probably because they kept refusing Jong-il’s IM chat requests. Never deny a dictator, that’s one thing we’ve always lived by. Anyway – over the course of many, many months hecklerspray’s very own Shawn Lindseth has used his spare time to animate a moving story of love, loss, and a horrible plague of killer-dyslexia that absolutely ravages a city.

Its his first original work, animation-speaking. Enjoy it, won’t you. And for Pete’s sake click on that Digg link. If not for us, then do it for our recently dead Korean relatives and the memory of their meaty, delicious throats.

No? Neither did we – and we’re still recovering! Unless someone is playing a joke on us. Damn them! But it got us thinking: Why do we care so much about these characters? What is it about the cartoon baddies that we love so much?

Aren’t we supposed to hate them? Boo them when they come on the screen like some kind of pantomime villain? No, and the reason why is because they are usually the most interesting characters in the cartoon.

So we have decided to come up with 16 of the best 80s cartoon villains. They reason we went for the 80s is because, well, that was when we were all kids. Plus it was a golden era. Or is that what everyone says?

Enjoy, and feel free to tell us which ones we’ve missed…

16. Lotor- Prince of Doom from Voltron

Would have been higher, but how can you take a villain dressed in tights seriously.

15. Miles Mayhem from M.A.S.K
The leader of Venom was the best character in the show. Which, admittedly, isn’t saying all that much.

14. Baron von Greenback from Dangermouse
Dangermouse’s slimy arch-enemy was essentially what Bond nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld would look like if he was a toad. It isn’t easy being green.

13. Darkstorm from Visionaries

Never quite understood why he turned into a giant snail. You really would not be happy with that would you? Your opposite number turns into a lion and you turn in a slimy mollusc. Not exactly a fair fight.

12. Hugo A-Go-Go from Batfink
Gets in purely because of his name.

11. Starscream from Transformers

Megatron’s power-hungry right-hand man was possibly the most realistic characters in the show. He moaned a lot with that annoying high-pitched voice of his, always thought he would do a better job if he was in charge, and wimped out when things turned tough. Sounds like someone you know at work? Plus he transformed into a cool plane. Bonus!

10. Venger from Dungeons and Dragons

Never quite understood why he only had one horn. Where was the other one? Plus, there was one episode where Dungeon Master called him his son. Nooooooooo!

9. Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget
With such a cool voice and the fact you never saw his face, just a claw, he really should have been higher up the list. But how could any self-respecting villain been beaten by a dog and a little girl in every episode? If we had had our way, he would have sold Gadget for scrap, boiled Brain down into glue and sold Penny into slavery. That really would have been mean.

8. Zoltar from Battle of the Planets

There is something really quite sinister about this guy. We think it’s because he is wearing lipstick and dresses like a dog.

7. Mumm-ra from Thundercats

Who knew Mummies could be so cool?

6. Gargamel from The Smurfs
We can never remember: Did he want to catch the Smurfs to turn them into gold or because he wanted to eat them? They don’t look very tasty, to be honest.

5. Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Uncle Phil??!!!! Really. We are so disappointed.

4. Cobra Commander from GI Joe
We think he had some anger issues. Not sure about the hood either.

3. Serpentor from GI Joe

Just beats Cobra Commander to the coolest character in GI Joe.

2. Megatron from Transformers

Only just pipped to the top spot by Skeletor, Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, was a worthy adversary for Optimus Prime. Plus he turned into a cool gun.

1. Skeletor

OK, we’ll admit it: we were scared of him too. Looking back now, he’s actually quite funny.

The prospect of a movie based on the ancient and well-regarded cartoon The Smurfs was hardly something that had filled us with joy.

It made hecklerspray let out a trademark sigh as we looked forward to another summer of movies single-handedly decimating the best years of our lives.

But this week the news suddenly became plain ridiculous, when it was revealed the upcoming Smurfs movie, apparently still in the works even though everyone had forgotten about it, will be – wait for it – live action.

Live action with sprinklings of CGI!!! Like the recent Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

Oh dear!!! Apparently, as Variety reports, David Stern and David Weiss, the authors behind the last two installments of Shrek, are in talks to write the screenplay.

So far, there is no word on who will direct it, when it will be released and what it will be about. But that is almost comforting.

Now, you know we at the ’spray aren’t ones to bitch – far from it.

In fact, we’re positive guiding lights of glory in the world today. But this has to rank among some of the most insane ideas ever. What in the (literal) blue hell are they going to do with it?

Have tiny CGI Smurfs invading a human-populated locale? Are they going to use midgets? Is Lindsay Lohan going to put on a blue costume and slut it up with all the other blue horndogs?

Time will tell.

You see, what was originally meant to be a cartoon remake has turned into a live action, CGI affair. Both of these options are welcome when reviving a beloved creation, as long as due care and attention is paid to the source material.

But part-CGI, part-live action smacks of either pending incredible failure or the chance to terrify a whole new generation.

Tiny blue computer-generated men (and a girl) hanging around with people? Or just, well, blue people? The thought is too much for fragile minds to take on board.

But at least it cannot be as terrifying as this, no matter how tight the Papa Smurf costume may be.