As the poor man’s Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra is constantly chasing Pammy’s tail and doing her best to keep up.

First Pamela Anderson was in Baywatch, then Carmen Electra was. First Pamela Anderson was in Playboy, then Carmen Electra was. First Pamela Anderson made rubbish films that nobody likes, then Carmen Electra did. In fact, take away the internet sex tape and the Hepatitis and you’re basically looking at the same person.

However, Pamela Anderson recently ended her third marriage. Hey, Carmen – her third! You’ve only been married twice. Quick! Get engaged to someone! Anyone! We don’t care who! What? You’ve found a man who looks like a weather-beaten uninflated vinyl panda doll that’s been dressed up as one of My Chemical Romance? Yeah, we’ll suppose he’ll do.