EastEnders routinely inspires violence in its viewers. OK, in us. And the violence is mainly directed at our sofa, accompanied by yells of "This is so rubbish! Why is this even on? Arrrgh!"

However, sometimes this little violent whirlpool leaks out from inside our heads and ends up elsewhere, like the outside of Lacey Turner's head.

Basically, Lacey Turner, who plays Stacey in EastEnders, got beaten up in a car park. In a supermarket car park. 

Even though it's a TV show that preposterously assumes there's a corner of East London not full of preening, self-involved, asymmetrical-haircutted fashion students with rich parents, a collection of brightly-coloured plastic sunglasses and a well-established eating disorder, EastEnders still has the power to shock.

Although it mainly shocks by occasionally sneaking in scenes of Hostel-style torture porn at 7:30pm and by keeping Bobby Davro in gainful employment, sometimes EastEnders can shock in the real world, too. Past examples of this include Dirty Den webcamming his cock to a journalist and Letitia Dean's big red face on Strictly Come Dancing. And a present example of this is EastEnders star Lacey Turner getting lamped in the head in a supermarket car park.

Apparently Lacey Turner was punched in the head after leaving a nightclub with Aaron Sidwell, who plays that boy in EastEnders who was so mentally ill that he kidnapped his dad and shot his dad's wife and then suddenly got better for no logical reason whatsoever. Now reports Lacey's nightclub attack in more detail than we could ever hope to:

A fellow guest at the club says: 'I left at around the same time and saw Lacey and Aaron walking across a nearby car park when the group of men approached them. There were a few words exchanged and suddenly one of the blokes lashed out. He hit her with a very powerful punch — it knocked her to the ground. She looked really shaken up and had to be helped to her feet. Everyone stopped. They couldn't believe what had happened. A couple of people helped her into a car and she went home.' 

It sounds shocking, we know, and it can't have been especially pleasant for Lacey Turner either, but she wasn't badly injured enough to affect her work. And if you think that's bad, just wait until next week – the bloke who plays Ian Beale is going to have a bottle fight with a sailor after an illegal dogfight turns sour.

Read more:

SHOCK! EastEnders' Lacey Turner attacked – Now 

If Pierce Brosnan ever punched you in the chest, chances are you'd feel a small amount of emotional pain – as you would if you were beaten up by any old man who looks like he smells of treated leather and Old Spice.

But enough emotional pain to sue Pierce Brosnan? Photographer Robert Rosen seems to think so. Following a bewilderingly petty shoving match in a Los Angeles car park in October that variously included a rib-punch, a stomach-kick and the immortal line "Why don't you get a real fucking job?" Robert Rosen is now suing Pierce Brosnan for 'severe physical and emotional pain and injuries'. Needless to say, there'd have been a lot less emotional pain if Robert Rosen was beaten up in a car park by Daniel Craig, but Pierce Brosnan? Christ, that's so 1998.

Poor old Pierce Brosnan. He lost the James Bond job because he was a bit too slick, a bit too Gillette, for modern tastes. It's all very well being able to kite-surf on a glacier that's being attacked by a space-laser, but audiences now want something different from James Bond – they want scenes of interminable card-games being explained by a whispering French policeman interspersed with clips of a burly bloke repeatedly punching a slightly less burly bloke in the mouth until he dies.

And, of course, the irony there is that the first thing of any worth that Pierce Brosnan did after being moved on from James Bond was that very thing. Well, that very thing without the card games or French policemen. Or the punching a man in the face until he dies bit, too, if we're honest. But allegedly swearing at a photographer and then punching him in the chest? Pierce Brosnan is all over that.

Back in October we reported that Pierce Brosnan got into a fight with photographer Robert Rosen in a Los Angeles car park, with Rosen claiming that Brosnan suddenly got aggressive and started shouting things like "Why don't you get a real fucking job?" before punching the snapper in the chest.

However, with eyewitnesses also claiming that they saw Rosen boot Pierce Brosnan in the stomach, the picture doesn't seem so clear cut. And now that Los Angeles prosecutors have washed their hands of the case citing insufficient evidence, Robert Rosen has now decided to sue the balls off Pierce Brosnan instead. The Associated Press reports:

Robert Rosen said he was taking photos of Brosnan on Oct. 26 when "suddenly and without warning," the 54-year-old actor struck him in the chest, causing "severe physical and emotional pain and injuries, including bruised ribs."… The freelance photographer is suing for unspecified general and punitive damages, the cost of medical and psychological treatment, and lost earnings.

And let's not forget that the cost of medical and psychological treatment is probably quite high, since there can't be too many doctors or therapists around who'd respond to this in any other way than by shouting "You got punched in the ribs by Pierce Brosnan and you're suing him? You massive wuss – what is he, like 75 years old now?" right into Robert Rosen's face.

Read more:

Paparazzi Sues Brosnan in Shoving Match – Associated Press