Posts tagged as:

Car Crash

Shia LaBeouf Selfishly Forces Transformers 2 to be Completely (Slightly) Changed

by Ian Dransfield

It’s something we’ve all been taught from a young age, from our days of appearing in school productions of whatever rubbish the teachers thought our parents may want to see: don’t ruin your body parts when you’re playing the lead character. It’s something that maybe, possibly just should have been taught to everyone’s favourite beef [...]

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The Hulk Hogan Saga: Volume MCVII

by Ian Dransfield

Hulk Hogan really should stick to the things he knows get people on his side. Rip your flimsy vest off and expose us to your leathery pectorals, stomp around huffing and puffing and generally be unable to wrestle. That’s the Hulk Hogan we know and love. Though, to be honest, that kind of behaviour has [...]

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Hogan Speaks Out On His Son, While His Wife Gets Off With a 19-Year-Old

by Ian Dransfield

This time last year Hulk Hogan was probably a very happy (and large) man. He had a wife, two kids, a huge house, a reality TV show, legions of adoring fans and an incredible moustache. Life was rosy for ol’ Terry, king of the Legdrop of Doom. Then his prat of a son went and [...]

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Hulk Hogan’s Other Kid Crashes Her Car A Bit Too

by Stuart Heritage

Back when Hulk Hogan was in his prime, the only things he’d destroy were a series of flimsy T-shirts and the national flags of his foreign rivals.

But that’s not enough for Hulk Hogan’s kids. First Hogan’s son Nick wrote off his car – and any chances of his passenger having a normal life – in a spectacular crash, and now it turns out that Hulk Hogan’s daughter Brooke has been in a car crash of her own.

Brooke Hogan getting into a car accident just days after her younger brother was sentenced to eight months in prison for his crash is just plainly irresponsible. If only Brooke had the foresight to make the news for something unrelated to an automobile accident – maybe stabbing a pensioner in the neck or becoming a prostitute – we’re sure her father would be sleeping much more easily at night.

Back when Hulk Hogan was in his prime, the only things he'd destroy were a series of flimsy T-shirts and the national flags of his foreign rivals. But that's not enough for Hulk Hogan's kids. First Hogan's son Nick wrote off his car - and any chances of his passenger having a normal life - in a spectacular crash, and now it turns out that Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke has been in a car crash of her own. Brooke Hogan getting into a car accident just days after her younger brother was sentenced to eight months in prison for his crash is just plainly irresponsible. If only Brooke had the foresight to make the news for something unrelated to an automobile accident - maybe stabbing a pensioner in the neck or becoming a prostitute - we're sure her father would be sleeping much more easily at night.
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Sandra Bullock Almost Killed To Death By Drugged-Up Driver

by Paul Sorrenti

Nineties heartthrob Sandra Bullock has narrowly escaped death after her car was hit by a drug-crazed female driver.

The drug in question is the one which is responsible for more deaths each year than cocaine, heroin and crack combined.

It is the one which is smelt on the breath of 40% of reported violent criminals, 78% of assaulters and 88% of criminal damagers.

Worst of all, it is the drug most responsible for the current record-breaking human-population on earth.

It’s alcohol – obviously.

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Britney Spears In Truly Newsworthy Car Accident

by Paul Sorrenti

britney spears in truly newsworthy car accidentIf a regular person like you was to be involved in a car accident, the only way you could expect to make the headlines would be if it involved an overturned lorry, five squashed school kids, one heavily concussed granny and a rescue effort from Tom Cruise.

And even then you probably wouldn’t get a name mention, just simply be referred to as ‘man’, and if your really, really lucky that’ll be prefixed with a description of your race.

Whereas, if you’re Britney Spears, all you need do to start a worldwide ‘Car-crash!’ frenzy is gently kiss your bumper against the car in front, with not so much as one injury – fatal or otherwise – or even so much as a scratch on yours or any other persons vehicle.

The lucky bitch.

britney spears in truly newsworthy car accidentIf a regular person like you was to be involved in a car accident, the only way you could expect to make the headlines would be if it involved an overturned lorry, five squashed school kids, one heavily concussed granny and a rescue effort from Tom Cruise. And even then you probably wouldn’t get a name mention, just simply be referred to as ‘man’, and if your really, really lucky that’ll be prefixed with a description of your race. Whereas, if you’re Britney Spears, all you need do to start a worldwide ‘Car-crash!’ frenzy is gently kiss your bumper against the car in front, with not so much as one injury - fatal or otherwise - or even so much as a scratch on yours or any other persons vehicle. The lucky bitch.
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Hulk Hogan’s Son Arrested For Crashing His Car Like A Git

by Stuart Heritage

If Hulk Hogan was your Dad, you’d probably rebel a little bit, mostly because you’d be sick of Hulk Hogan picking you up from parties and ripping his flimsy T-shirt off in front of everyone while feigning deafness in an exaggerated way.

So who can blame Hulk Hogan’s son Nick Bollea for going off the rails a little bit? After all, Nick’s just doing what normal teenagers do, pushing at the boundaries by occasionally drinking or getting interested in girls or… what’s that? Nick Bollea rebelled by racing his Toyota at high speed on a wet road, flipping it into a tree-trunk and critically injuring his passenger? OK, admittedly that’s something that a slightly smaller amount of teenagers do.

Anyway, long story short – Nick Bollea has been arrested for the crash and Hulk Hogan isn’t very happy about it, so police should probably watch out for a bald geriatric man with ridiculous facial hair shouting “Whatcha gonna do?” at them until he gets tired and needs to sit down sometime soon.

If Hulk Hogan was your Dad, you'd probably rebel a little bit, mostly because you'd be sick of Hulk Hogan picking you up from parties and ripping his flimsy T-shirt off in front of everyone while feigning deafness in an exaggerated way. So who can blame Hulk Hogan's son Nick Bollea for going off the rails a little bit? After all, Nick's just doing what normal teenagers do, pushing at the boundaries by occasionally drinking or getting interested in girls or... what's that? Nick Bollea rebelled by racing his Toyota at high speed on a wet road, flipping it into a tree-trunk and critically injuring his passenger? OK, admittedly that's something that a slightly smaller amount of teenagers do. Anyway, long story short - Nick Bollea has been arrested for the crash and Hulk Hogan isn't very happy about it, so police should probably watch out for a bald geriatric man with ridiculous facial hair shouting "Whatcha gonna do?" at them until he gets tired and needs to sit down sometime soon.
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