No – Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called ‘curse’ of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as ’serious’.

The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.

Morgan was travelling with an unnamed female companion when the crash occurred. Travelling eastbound on Highway 32, Tallahatchie Country, Mississippi, their car flipped several times before coming to rest. The name of the female passenger has not been released, but she is said to have suffered bruises as a result of the crash. The jaws of life were used to good effect and Freeman was airlifted around 90 miles for hospital treatment. He was upgraded from critical to serious condition, and more recent reports have left the actor with an even more positive prognosis.

Fortunately, both drugs and alcohol have been ruled out of the running for what caused the accident, meaning we don’t have to put up with another was-he wasn’t-he situation like young Shiny the Beef has had to contend with in recent weeks. Nor do we have to put up with possible insanity, like we did all those years back with Melvin. Obviously the wily old veteran that is Morgan Freeman would never be brash enough to take part in such an obviously stupid pursuit as driving under the influence.

Those young whippersnappers could learn a thing or three from God Himself.

But it would seem that the lord almighty can’t save himself from the ‘curse’ of The Dark Knight, which wild speculators (hello!) are claiming is the cause of Heath Ledger’s death and Christian Bale’s descent into alleged assault.

Now, let’s be honest here – Ledger’s death was a sad thing, unexpected and unwarranted. Bale’s case may have been his own fault, he may have been coaxed into it. Freeman’s crash is believed to have been as a result of falling asleep at the wheel, swerving and overcompensating. If this is a real curse then it’s a bit rubbish – none of your plagues on the family, eight arms on the first-born or evil gremlins turning up and wrecking your place up.

No, it’s an accidental overdose, some alleged shenanigans and an old man falling asleep at the wheel. These curse-makers really should go back to the drawing board and think up some new cursey goodness – or just stick with the classics. Doesn’t the bible have some good ones? Morgan Freeman should know about that, he is God after all.

Hecklerspray is sending you more get well beams through the internets, Morgan. Also some extra beams to help make sure the rubbish ‘curse’ doesn’t strike again. We have these kind of powers, you see.

And even then you probably wouldn’t get a name mention, just simply be referred to as ‘man’, and if your really, really lucky, that’ll be prefixed with a description of your race.

Whereas, if you’re Britney Spears, all you need do to start a worldwide ‘Car-crash!’ frenzy is gently kiss your bumper against the car in front, with not so much as one injury – fatal or otherwise – or even so much as a scratch on yours or any other person’s vehicle.

The lucky bitch.

The police have said that Britney bumped into a Nissan with her Mercedes while driving through slow-moving traffic in California yesterday, but there was no damage and nobody in any of the cars was injured.

Hecklerspray would like to ask: why are you still reading this? Seriously, why? Why not instead read our earlier article about Britney and K-Fed remarrying; or Alicia Keys saying the government killed 2Pac and Biggie; or the one about the world’s biggest penis? Loads of people like that one. All far more interesting.

Only kidding, this story is of course immense, and here comes a bit more:

The Nissan then bumped into another vehicle but…there was no damage and…there were no injuries. BBC news reports that officers from the California Highway Patrol went to the scene and investigated it a bit to see if anyone should be charged. And how many charges did they dish out? You’ve guessed it: zero.

Are we still awake? Surely no one has read this far down?

You can’t really blame us though, hecklerspray is just the messenger, we’re doing our job reporting this to you, the blame lies solely with you. Ignore it and it might go away.

This is not the first time Britney has been involved in a traffic accident, of course. Last August she escaped a hit-and-run charge, in 2006 she was photographed driving with one of her sons in her lap.

Next time do it properly please, Britney. We’re not saying you need to squash five school kids like we would, we understand you’re above that, but could you not concuss just one granny for us?

Shame on you if you’ve read this far. There’s a war on you know!

Read more – Spears’ car causes motorway crash – BBC