One of the big talking points from the Super Bowl commercial break was… well… Clint Eastwood. Away from that though, there’s a little excitement surrounding the trailer for Marvel’s The Avengers movie.

While most superhero flicks are brooding like Batman at the moment, it appears that The Avengers film is going to be pleasingly dumb, if the trailer is anything to go by.

So if you want to see it, strap in and watch things explode with Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr), Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) and Hulk get into a giant scrap with a fella with long, greasy hair.

The baddie in the piece is called Loki and he’s all cocking his head with an evil eyebrow nonsense while Rob Downey Jr is, well, playing himself.

Elsewhere, Captain America’s shield will get nerds wet, while everyone else with be getting aroused over Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit.

Oh, and there’s aliens and laser beams and all that good stuff.

One thing that people may raise a vague titter at is the exchange between Loki and Iron Man. ”I have an army,” says Tom Hiddleston’s Loki. “We have a Hulk!” Stark replies.

Those superheroes and villains! Do they rehearse this stuff?

Yes they do. Now watch the trailer.

Ever wanted to smell like one of Marvel’s finest? Of course you have. If you said you’d be a stinking liar. See what we did there? Stinking. It’s a joke! A funny joke! Oh, shut up a second and we’ll tell you how you can.

We’ve always longed for our lady friends to smell like Black Widow, and for our friends to smell like rejection, fear and Michael Fassbender: just like the X-Men.

The good people at Jads International, which sounds a lot like one of the stripping troupes that frequently visit the HS bedsit (Nads International) are bringing you a range of aftershaves that are themed around the main characters from the upcoming, and not at all Marvel’s last chance-saloon, The Avengers.

Taking inspiration from Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, The Incredible Hulk (?!), Loki and Nick Fury, they hope to emulate the smells that maketh the man, so for Iron Man we’re presuming it’s a mix of sweat and WD40.

There’s the general BS of what ingredients have gone into them; notes of sandalwood with hints of lime, for instance, but we don’t think you’re going to admit to wear SMASH!, the fragrance inspired by The Incredible Hulk. You do want to get your end away don’t you?

You can buy Patriot (Captain America, duh), Mark VII (Iron Man), SMASH! (Incredible Hulk), Worthy (Thor), Mischief (Loki) and Infinity Formula (Nick Fury) from the Jads International website for much, much more money than they’re probably worth.

If smelling like a sweaty superhero isn’t your thing, then Jads also supplement a Star Trek inspired range of smells. Imagine how awesome everyone would think you were if you went into the office smelling like Sulu.

There’s also some perfumes for the ladies, but we’re still waiting for a She-Hulk and Dazzler inspired scent.

2011 appears to be the year of the big budget comic book movie. When it comes to adaptations of graphic novels, we’re being spoiled rotten right now.

Marvel’s first avenger, Captain America has just hit cinemas worldwide, Green Lantern… well, it happened didn’t it… and we’ve been given 3 brand spanking new teaser trailers to salivate over.

New offerings from Batman, Spiderman and The Avengers may well be due soon, but one hero currently not donning his tightest pants in preparation to be thrust back into the spotlight like some weird pervert is Superman.

But fear not earthlings! It turns out there is some new Superman footage to get you all wheezy and out of breath. Well, it’s not actually new, it’s pretty old, but it hasn’t been seen before, so it’s like new.

A deleted scene from the last installment of the Superman movie franchise, the fantastically woeful Superman Returns, has been unearthed.

The $10million scene shows Supes flying in some sort of Dr. Manhattanesque giant crystal spaceship to his desolate home planet of Krypton, before crying like a little bitch and deciding it’s probably worth going back to Earth.

Visually the scene is fairly impressive, however at 6 minutes long with minimal action or sound it is incredibly tedious. The fact that this scene was so tedious that it was deleted from one of the most tedious movies in recent history should tell you all you need to know about it really.

There are a few things that puzzle us though. Why the hell is The Man of Steel flying a spaceship, he’s able to fly through space without any real problems, what makes this ship so special?

Also, wasn’t Krypton destroyed? It seems to be in fairly good nick when our hero arrives, admittedly it is barren and everyone is probably dead, but we’ll overlook that fact because it’s depressing and goes against our, ‘it seems to be in fairly good nick,’ theory that was outlined at the start of this paragraph.

Anyway, if you just couldn’t get enough of Superman Returns, then you have a problem and we here at hecklerspray suggest you get help, quickly.

For the rest of you, point your peepers at the video below to see how spending $10million on 6 minutes doesn’t always guarantee a good time.

There’s been a lot of buzz surrounding the release of the new Captain America film, despite the fact that, as superheroes go, Captain America is pretty lame. He’s called Captain America for starters – how lame is that?

Anyway, the first full movie trailer for Paramount/Marvel flick has arrived online, much to everyone’s initial thrill.

Captain America: The First Avenger has been directed by Joe Johston (who did… uh… Jurassic Park III and Jumanji… Christ, this is going to be awful isn’t it?) and stars (no, not that one) Chris Evans, Hayley Atwell, Hugo Weaving, Stanley Tucci, Sebastian Stan, Toby Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, Dominic Cooper, Tommy Lee Jones, Derek Luke and Neal McDonough. For the most part: Who? Whatever. Trailer is over the jump.

Captain America: The First Avenger will be landing on conventional and 3D screens across the US and UK from July 22nd, 2011.

Which is aaages away.

In this flick, we’ll see sickly Steve Rogers getting ramped up to something like human perfection in an experiment by the United States army in World War II during the 1940s.

Then, he’ll sport the most excellent camouflage of a bright blue suit and a red and white shield that is just aching to be aimed at.

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10 - Are you a fan of chicken, lager, dressing gowns and fishing rods? Gazza is, so you should be too – Gazzasfavouritethings

9 – Hugh Hefner discusses Viagra. We dare you to click the link – AmyGrindhouse

8 - A nervous child sings Happy Birthday. It’s funny because he’s traumatised - Buzzfeed

7 - Different animals fighting each other. Awesome – Asylum

6 - Are you fat and unbearably twee? Hello Kitty pizza bites it is, then - Geekologie

5 – Captain America‘s new outfit looks quite good, if you like that kind of thing – Clothesonfilm

4 – Heather Graham wearing some clothes. For a change – Popsugar

3 – Then and now photos of old musicians. It’s funny because mortality is hilarious – Xtremehumors

2 – Our kinda bunting – Domesticsluttery

1 – Dear Waitrose, please sack Delia and Heston and hire these two…

If all the Virgin Media TV adverts haven’t already made you utterly sick of Samuel L Jackson’s face, we’ve got good news.

You’ll be seeing more of it. A lot more. In fact, if you plan on seeing any Marvel movie over the next decade, chances are that at some point Samuel L Jackson is going to walk on as Nick Fury, waggle his good eye around and bugger off again.

Because Marvel has just signed Samuel L Jackson up for nine movies – including Iron Man 2, Thor, Thor 2, Captain America and the long-awaited Nick Fury Sings The Hits Of Genesis.

Depending on how much of a geek you are, Samuel L Jackson’s surprise post-credits cameo as Nick Fury in Iron Man probably sparked one of the following reactions:

1 - “Oh cool, this means that S.H.I.E.L.D is going to play an important role in the tapestry of all future Marvel films!”

2 - “That’s not Nick Fury. He doesn’t even look anything like David Hasselhoff.”

3 - “What’s going on? I don’t know why I even bothered sitting through the poxy credits. I need a wee and one of my legs has gone to sleep. Oh, I hate this life.”

We won’t tell you which one of these was our reaction (Clue: the third one), but Samuel L Jackson went down so well as Nick Fury in Iron Man that Marvel has signed him up to do more of them. Nine more of them, in fact. Reuters reports:

The actor, who just weeks ago was seemingly on the outs with the studio over reprising his role as Nick Fury, agent of spy outfit S.H.I.E.L.D., in the “Iron Man” sequel, has signed an unprecedented nine-picture deal to play the character in a series of Marvel movies. In addition to “Iron Man 2,” scheduled for release next year, the movies include “Thor,” “Captain America,” “The Avengers” and its sequels.

We don’t know whether to be happy or sad for Samuel L Jackson. Given Marvel’s taste for cannibalistic incest, there’s a chance that he’ll end up in more than nine films – getting to star in far-off gems such as Thor 2, Thor 3, Captain America 2, Captain America 3, Thor Vs Captain America, Thor And Captain America Vs Iron Man, Iron Man Vs The Avengers, The Avengers Vs The Bavengers and Thor Gives Iron Man A Sneaky Hand-Job While Iron Man Is Away At A Conference.

Plus there’s a chance that, if all goes well, Samuel L Jackson will end up being given his own S.H.I.E.L.D movie, and that’s bound to excite everyone interested in seeing the day-to-day administrative chores of a large organisation thrillingly played out on the big screen.

But, on the other hand, we don’t think Samuel L Jackson should get his feet too far under the table just yet. It might be an uninformed hunch, but we do have a ‘Samuel L Jackson To Be Replaced By Don Cheadle‘ post loitering around that we don’t think will stay unpublished for very long, if you know what we mean.

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Part of what has made Marvel’s forays into feature films so exciting is the quality of director it has managed to secure for each movie.

Whether it’s an indie darling like Jon Favreau directing Iron Man, a theatrical powerhouse like Kenneth Branagh helming Thor or a thrilling young up-and-comer like Louis Leterrier taking on The Incredible Hulk, Marvel has always managed to impress. So, with that in mind, who has Marvel signed on to direct Captain America, one of the most iconic characters in its stable?

Joe Johnston. Come on, you know, Joe Johnston. The man who directed Jurassic Park III. And, um, The Rocketeer. Oh, you know him. He wrote one episode of the Star Wars Droids cartoon spin-off in 1895. Joe Johnston, you know. Old Joey Jo-Jo Johnston. This Captain America film is going to freaking rule.

Aspiring superhero movie directors, listen up. We’ve worked something out that we think you should probably know. if you want to get Marvel’s attention, you should think about making a film about a magical board game.

We’re being serious. Why did Marvel pick Jon Favreau to direct Iron Man? Because of his work on Zathura: A Space Adventure. And why has Marvel picked Joe Johnston to direct Captain America? Because of his work on Jumanji. And it’s fairly obvious that Kenneth Branagh was asked to direct Thor because of his bleak directorial masterpiece Gooey Louie: The Motion Picture.

But, look, that’s not the point. The point is that Marvel has signed Joe Johnston to direct its upcoming First Avenger: Captain America movie. Why? Because between Terrence Howard and Edward Norton Marvel has realised that big stars also come with big fees and unmanageably big egos? No, not at all – it’s just that everyone at Marvel thinks that Jurassic Park III is the best Jurassic Park film, even better than the ones that made much more money and got much better reviews. Ahem. Reuters reports:

“Jurassic Park III” director Joe Johnston has signed a deal to bring the Marvel comic-book hero Captain America to the big screen. “First Avenger: Captain America,” a World War II-set movie, is scheduled for release in 2011 through Marvel Studios. No writers are on board, but the studio expects to hire shortly.

Since he’s currently working on a version of The Wolfman that more or less just involves asking Benicio Del Toro to not shave for about 45 minutes and then filming the results, First Avenger: Captain America looks like it could be the biggest movie of Joe Johnston’s career.

After all, it doesn’t have a script yet and Marvel is already hyping Captain America as hard as it can. So, if that continues, there’s a chance that First Avenger: Captain America will be one of the biggest hits of 2011 in North America and the terrorist states that’ll use it to demonstrate America’s beligerant patriotism to its angry young recruits.

That just leaves the question of who’ll play Captain America. A few weeks ago Will Smith expressed an interest, but now that he’s gone off to massacre a film that we love instead, it looks like it’s wide open. It’s obvious that the role needs to be played by someone fiercely all-American, so may we suggest Eddie Izzard from The Riches? Or maybe the guy from House? Or Jimmy McNulty from The Wire. Or one of Flight Of The Conchords. Yes. Any of them please.

The Incredible Hulk was jam-packed with cameos – Tony Stark was there, as were the ghosts of all your dead relatives asking why you were watching such a bad film.

Or maybe that was just us. Anyway, once cameo in The Incredible Hulk that you might have missed was Captain America. Seriously. Captain America really was in The Incredible Hulk, but only if you bought the DVD and then squinted until your eyes bled for one specific millisecond during a deleted scene set in the arctic.

As Film School Rejects has discovered, you can quite clearly see Captain America buried in the snow in the picture above, taken from The Incredible Hulk. This nicely lines up the new Avengers film, because it presumably shows how Captain America fought in World War II and then got frozen in the arctic before he was brought back to life in the present day to fight evil alongside Iron-Man, The Incredible Hulk and Thor.

Unless, you know, that isn’t a picture of Captain America at all and it’s just a smudge, or a rock, or a shadow, or some penguin wee. But it isn’t. It’s definitely Captain America, Definitely.

Come to think of it, we think we saw another one of these Avengers cameos in Iron Man. At approximately the 48:22 mark, there’s a tiny movement in the bottom left hand corner of the screen. You won’t notice it unless you buy the Blu-Ray and view it frame by frame through an atomic microscope until you go mad, but it’s actually Thor performing a perfect rendition of Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble by PJ & Duncan in perfect Esperanto. Seriously, watch it. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do with your time, is it?

Read more:

Found: Captain America in The Incredible Hulk – Film School Rejects

Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he’s less of a massive mental, religious freak.

First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public – though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public – and he’s seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next?

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what’s being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper – a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi’s already on board, but you get the point.

And you can’t fault the man’s logic.

The rumoured decision happily fits in with our theory that Hollywood is physically incapable of having an original thought, ever, ever, ever. It also fits in with the current logic that if you make a film of a comic book it will make a lot of geeks wet with anticipation, thus creating millions upon millions of dollars to line the executive’s pockets with. And we all know how much they love money over there in movieland.

Valuing cash over creativity, honesty or integrity? Say it ain’t so! Ahem.

It appears, if reports are to be believed, that the latest in the line of films the studios hope will emulate the success of Spider-Man 3 and The Dark Knight is an adaptation of Sleeper – a limited series that ran from 2003-05 from the Wildstorm Universe and written by Ed Brubaker, whose writing credits include some work on X-Men and Captain America comics, amongst many others.

It does strike us that such a smalltime comic wouldn’t be the best of the potential earners out there for the studios and actors, but hey ho – it’s their money to waste and, who knows, they might get it right.

They won’t. But, you know – we are the bastions of truth, glory and optimism in the world of the internet. Wait, what? We’re not? Ah crap, Stu isn’t going to be happy…

The connection of Tom Cruise with the project has come about through the usual web of lies/rumours that prop up countless websites across the world, though it did originate at somewhere half-decent in the shape of The Hollywood Reporter, meaning we can leave it to them to explain the finer points:

Written by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips, “Sleeper,” which ran from 2003-05, centers on an operative whose fusion with an alien artifact makes him impervious to pain and allows him to pass it on to others through skin contact. He is placed undercover in a villainous organization by an intelligence agency and falls for a member of the group, named Miss Misery.

Which sounds absolutely ideal for some big names to get attached to, a plethora of nerds to claim they read the book when it first came out (even though they picked it up off eBay on hearing the news a film was in the making) and a film to come out and get critically panned, while earning a small amount of cash.

You heard it here first.

We should also point out: superpowers afforded by the film adaptation still won’t allow Tom Cruise to keep pizzas warm using magic. Just thought we should point that out yet again.