Cannes: Now Possibly Featuring James Cameron’s Disembodied Head So far it's fair to say that this year's Cannes Film Festival has been all over the shop. The bulk of the chatter has been about what Angelina Jolie is keeping in her guts and the festival's biggest two movies - Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull and Vicky Cristina Barcelona - are only gaining interest because people either like a) watching iconic action stars try to recapture past glories or b) watching Scarlett Johansson get off with Penelope Cruz. And since Sean Penn is the festival's jury president this year, everything else is probably going to be a barrage of humourless hand-wringing about starving Albanians. And if the thought of that has put you off, we've found a way to enjoy the Cannes Film Festival from home.

Now Dustin Hoffman Blabs About Angelina Jolie’s Due Date Angelina Jolie must be wondering why she even bothered going all the way to poxy Cannes. Supposedly there to promote Kung Fu Panda, Angelina Jolie has actually ended up having to sit in a room with her co-stars and listen to them carping on about all the secrets of her pregnancy. First Jack Black accidentally confirmed that Angelina Jolie was pregnant with twins, and now Dustin Hoffman has apparently revealed that her babies are due to be born on August 19. But that's nothing, because Angelina's other Kung Fu Panda co-star Jackie Chan refuses to be outdone - and you'll discover why just as soon as he's finished bronzing his 30ft papier mache representation of what the inside of Angelina Jolie's dilating cervix looks like.

Sean Penn Gets To Be In Charge At Cannes

The Cannes Film Festival is the most famous film festival in the world, where every year a jury chooses a film that nobody has seen and says how much better it is than all the films you've seen put together.

And this year the Cannes Film Festival is going to be extra special because the head of the Cannes jury has been announced as Sean Penn. As one of the most respected actors and directors working in Hollywood today, Sean Penn's appointment will mean that the movie he awards his prize to will get an even bigger publicity boost than usual. It also means that anyone who's recently made a movie that's funny, uplifting, deft or about anything other than how terrible the Iraq war is should probably stay at home this year because they ain't winning jack.