It was an exciting thought - that maybe by the time we tucked ourselves up in our one big communal hecklerspray bed (head-to-toe, we're not perverts) - Dr Phil would have restored factory settings on Britney Spears, reverting her back into the Britney we love best, the provocatively-virginal schoolgirl who dressed up in pigtails and a miniskirt and asked grown men to hit her. But sadly that hasn't happened because Dr Phil has cancelled today's scheduled Britney Spears episode as a result, citing pressure from the Spears family.

Lesson learnt, Dr Phil has decided to instead do a show entitled Fine, But Don't Come Running To Me Next Time Your Minge Is All Over The Internet.