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cancelled

Watchmen Won’t be Watched by Men, if Fox Get Their Way

by Ian Dransfield

Everybody seems to be getting in on the comic book-to-movie adaptation thing, with easily one of the most anticipated being that of Watchmen. While normally this would be greeted with trepidation and a slight amount of fear, the sheer quality of the source material, combined with the fact that the film is supposed to actually [...]

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Mark Ronson: Amy Winehouse Not Fit To Do James Bond Justice

by Paul Sorrenti

The planned Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson Bond-theme has been cancelled because, according to Ronson, when it comes to her current mental state, Amy can’t find a quantum of solace anywhere.

However, a spokesman for Winehouse has said that this isn’t the case and that the real reason is to do with a clash of interests regarding the development of the song, of which Amy had “other ideas”.

Is Amy telling the truth, or is it Mark? Who knows? As far as that argument goes, it’s probably best to live and let die.

It’s a terrible shame for all things Bond as, when it comes to musical collaborations, nobody does it better than Winehouse and Ronson.

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Van Halen Ditches Even More Widdly-Woo Shows

by Stuart Heritage

It’s not a good time to be a fan of giant-haired widdly-woo nostalgic Spandex rock right now.

Not only do you have to live with the fact that you’ve wasted a great big portion of your life endorsing the very worst type of music ever invented, but now Van Halen have postponed a load more reunion dates as well.

This is the second batch of shows that Van Halen have ditched this month so far, and it’s all because Eddie Van Halen is currently being tested for a mystery medical condition. Sounds serious. We just hope that whatever the condition is, it’s important enough to deny thousands of fans the chance to pay an inflated amount of money to see a gang of old men play music that all sounds like the theme-tune to Biker Mice From Mars.

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Van Halen Reunion Tour Inevitably Scrapped Again

by Stuart Heritage

Sometimes it can seem like the hardest thing in the world to get four old men to play bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music together.

That’s certainly the case with Van Halen. After more messily aborted reunions than you could ever wish for, Van Halen finally hit the road in September to play their bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music to as many middle-aged bad-haired nostalgia freaks as the possibly could.

Except it couldn’t last and, with crushing inevitability, the rest of the Van Halen reunion tour has been scrapped; either forever or until the band feels the need to demonstrate its innate lack of personal and organisation skills in public again.

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Vanity Fair Oscars Party Croaks It

by Stuart Heritage

For all the bluster yesterday that the Oscars would go on regardless of a continued writers’ strike, it now looks like actors have got nowhere to get hammered afterwards.

The Vanity Fair Oscars party – probably the most prestigious Oscar night party held by a magazine specifically for actresses to get trollied on free booze because they’re not as good as Cate Blanchett – has been cancelled.

It’s a blow to the credibility of the Oscars and no mistake – with no Vanity Fair party to go to, Elizabeth Hurley’s got nowhere to topple out of in front of some cameramen even though she’s never been able to make a film that hasn’t made us want to stab ourselves in the neck. Won’t someone think of Elizabeth Hurley?

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Dr Phil Ditches That Whole Britney Spears Episode Idea

by Stuart Heritage

This morning we woke up in an unusually delicious mood knowing that, by bedtime, Dr Phil would have single-handedly solved all of Britney Spears' crazy problems on his downhome self-help TV show. It was an exciting thought – that maybe by the time we tucked ourselves up in our one big communal hecklerspray bed (head-to-toe, [...]

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