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If you own ears and at least one solitary braincell, rejoice! Why? The Kings of Leon have cancelled their tour of the USA which means that you don’t have to walk around with socks stuck in your lugs on the off-chance you’ll dander past one of their dreary stadium shows by accident.

This has left the band saying that they’re “ashamed” and “utterly depressed”, which could well be in reference to their back catalogue, which they’ve finally got around to listening to after years of constant touring coming to a sudden close.

The news comes on the back of a pretty lousy gig in Texas recently, where singer Caleb Followill fled the stage to be sick, to which he didn’t come back. Are there big problems underneath this puke? ARE THEY GOING TO SPLIT UP?

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If there’s one thing more annoying than going to a Janet Jackson concert, it’s going to a Janet Jackson concert in Canada.

And if there’s one thing worse than going to a Janet Jackson concert in Canada, it’s getting ready to go to a Janet Jackson concert in Canada and then finding out you can’t because Janet Jackson’s gone and been struck by some sort of super mystery illness.

Which is what happened last night, as it happened. Five minutes before the opening act of Janet Jackson’s concert in Montreal was set to take the stage, Janet ‘suddenly fell ill’ and had to go to hospital. Nobody would say what illness Janet Jackson had, although it’s thought to be the rare Nogoodalbumsfortwodecades Syndrome. Or it might be something serious, in which case – whoops.

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Poor old Toni Braxton. For close to two years Toni has spent night after night grinding out a living as a Las Vegas casino performer and nobody cared.

But now Toni Braxton has finally got the attention she deserves. Thanks to the mysterious, potentially life-threatening chest pains that took her off to hospital last week, Toni Braxton has never been so famous and her Vegas show is bound to sell even more tickets than ever as a result.

Except that it won’t, because Toni Braxton has cancelled all of her shows for the rest of April while she recovers. Stupid chest pains – they give you all the thrill of being famous with none of the cardiovascular functionality of being healthy. Hardly ideal, is it?

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Janet Jackson Flu Ill SNL Cancel HospitalMinor illnesses are being massively under-represented at the moment, so let's all thank Jesus right now that Janet Jackson is doing something about it.

You see, Janet Jackson was supposed to be performing on Saturday Night Live this week but she's dropped out because she's got the sniffles. Or, as she likes to call it, 'the flu'.

A fairly serious bout of flu nonetheless, because Janet Jackson wound up in hospital because of it, but on the bright side at least by pulling out of SNL Janet Jackson has stopped an audience of millions from catching whatever degenerative brain disease you get when you're forced to watch a fortysomething woman repeatedly try to convince you of how sexy she is to a backing of tinpot R&B fluff.

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