Articles tagged with: campaign
We'd be honoured to have John McCain use any of of our songs - like Look At My Stubby Little Arms or Eghhh (EGHHH) - in his election campaign. But sadly John McCain isn't having any of it. Instead, he'd rather use My Hero by Foo Fighters which - while probably a better election song that Eghhh (EGHHH) because it doesn't have a seven-minute death-jazz intermission played on a contraceptive diaphragm - has annoyed Foo Fighters no end. John McCain's use of My Hero has enraged Foo Fighters so much that they've launched a furious rock n roll riposte - they've written a really bloody strongly worded letter about it. In fact, Foo Fighters have really laid the law down - if John McCain plays My Hero one more time, they're going to call the flipping council about it or something. Just you watch them!
Jerry Seinfeld hasn't really had to do much since his sitcom finished all those years ago. Still ranked by many as the 'funniest thing ever' and 'really, really good' and earning a hell of a lot of money for the people involved in it, Jerry Seinfeld obviously thought he could rest easy. At least until a movie about a bee came about, which was clearly what he'd been waiting for all his life. But now it seems the star of the sitcom with the bloke who drops the 'N' bomb on stage wants some more money - that has to be the reason, as agreeing to star in adverts for Microsoft isn't something you do for integrity's sake.
It must be a great feeling to be Beyonce Knowles-Z - a strong, black, female role model for millions around the world. That is, unless a cosmetics company decide to make you white. Then you kind of fall down on part of that description. It would seem that the make-up behemoths at L'Oreal may just be the types to force this kind of change on the young diva, with claims being made that Beyonce's skin tone has been lightened for a magazine ad. The company dispute these allegations. You know - 'whitening' things up to make them more palatable to the masses. They did it with every other element of black culture - the music, the clothing, the lingo - why not start trying to make black celebrities white too? Okay, so maybe we're going a bit overboard with it - but it's Friday, and hecklerspray has some drinkin' to get done. It's maybe not as bad as that.
If there's one thing that Heather Mills hates - apart from newspapers that obviously can't see how much better she is than everyone else - it's bloody cows and all that manky milk they keep squirting out of their cow-knockers.
Seriously, Heather Mills hates cows' milk so much that yesterday she went to Hyde Park's Speaker's Corner specifically to slag it off. Obviously, Heather Mill's attention-seeking rant was part of her new Viva vegan campaign that says global warming would reverse instantly if you stopped eating lasagne - but luckily Heather has an alternative plan for anyone who'll find it hard to become vegan straight away. Heather Mills wants you to start squirting rats' milk into your lattes from now on. And as devoted Heather Mills fans, that's what we're doing - in the office now we have up to a million rats strapped into Saw-style torture devices that do nothing but drain every last drop of milk from the rats' agonised bodies.
It's what Heather Mills would have wanted.
