Articles tagged with: Camilla Belle
Joe Jonas Splits With Camilla Belle, Sobs Like An Actual Baby
Like everyone else, we were praying that Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle would get married and have kids. We don't want to see them happy, you understand. No, it's because Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have both got massive eyebrows and so their offspring would end up freakishly hairy, and we'd be allowed to chase it into the forest with pitchforks and torches as a result. But that dream is over - Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have split up. Still, Joe Jonas took the news like a man - a man who openly weeps at his own concerts. Video? Oh yes.
Like everyone else, we were praying that Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle would get married and have kids. We don't want to see them happy, you understand. No, it's because Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have both got massive eyebrows and so their offspring would end up freakishly hairy, and we'd be allowed to chase it into the forest with pitchforks and torches as a result. But that dream is over - Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have split up. Still, Joe Jonas took the news like a man - a man who openly weeps at his own concerts. Video? Oh yes.
Taylor Swift Gets All Screechy About ‘Cheaty’ Camilla Belle
You may not have known who she was until yesterday, but Camilla Belle is basically a giganto-browed Angelina Jolie lite. This is because the Joe Jonas/ Taylor Swift/ Camilla Belle triangle of pointlessness echoes the Jolie/ Pitt/ Aniston saga fairly closely. Admittedly this theory doesn't hold up to scrutiny that well, because if Camilla Belle is Angelina Jolie then that makes her new boyfriend Joe Jonas Brad Pitt, and we all know that Joe Jonas looks too much like an anime lesbian for that to work. However, Taylor Swift is definitely Jennifer Aniston in all of this, because she's been gripped by a compulsion to publicly discuss her split from Joe Jonas as much as humanly possible. You see, Taylor Swift says that Camilla Belle stole Joe Jonas from her, and that he'd been cheating on her for months. Is it true? If we find one person who even slightly cares we swear we'll tear off both our kneecaps.
You may not have known who she was until yesterday, but Camilla Belle is basically a giganto-browed Angelina Jolie lite. This is because the Joe Jonas/ Taylor Swift/ Camilla Belle triangle of pointlessness echoes the Jolie/ Pitt/ Aniston saga fairly closely. Admittedly this theory doesn't hold up to scrutiny that well, because if Camilla Belle is Angelina Jolie then that makes her new boyfriend Joe Jonas Brad Pitt, and we all know that Joe Jonas looks too much like an anime lesbian for that to work. However, Taylor Swift is definitely Jennifer Aniston in all of this, because she's been gripped by a compulsion to publicly discuss her split from Joe Jonas as much as humanly possible. You see, Taylor Swift says that Camilla Belle stole Joe Jonas from her, and that he'd been cheating on her for months. Is it true? If we find one person who even slightly cares we swear we'll tear off both our kneecaps.
Joe Jonas Now Not Having Sex With Some Other Girl
For a boy who looks like a mutant hybrid between Sylar from Heroes and a drawing of a puppy, Joe Jonas seems to be a bit of a cad. Just last week, country singer Taylor Swift was rushing around telling anyone who'd listen about what a git Joe Jonas was for dumping her during a 25-second phonecall. But already Joe Jonas has decided to move on and sow his wild oats elsewhere. We mean that literally, too. Joe Jonas literally went out, bought a packet of wild oats and buried it in the ground. We didn't mean 'sow his wild oats' in a sexual way. Joe Jonas is a virgin, remember. A virgin. Oh, and also, Joe Jonas might be banging that girl from 10,000 BC.
For a boy who looks like a mutant hybrid between Sylar from Heroes and a drawing of a puppy, Joe Jonas seems to be a bit of a cad. Just last week, country singer Taylor Swift was rushing around telling anyone who'd listen about what a git Joe Jonas was for dumping her during a 25-second phonecall. But already Joe Jonas has decided to move on and sow his wild oats elsewhere. We mean that literally, too. Joe Jonas literally went out, bought a packet of wild oats and buried it in the ground. We didn't mean 'sow his wild oats' in a sexual way. Joe Jonas is a virgin, remember. A virgin. Oh, and also, Joe Jonas might be banging that girl from 10,000 BC.
