Articles tagged with: California
Coyotes Eat Paris Hilton’s Salty Lap-Dogs
The southern California coyote population seems to be working itself well-away from the brink of extinction. This is good news, as just three months ago they'd been diminished by the encroachment of man to a population of one. It lived in a multi-level parking garage just off Sunset Blvd. Luckily for devoted coyote enthusiasts everywhere, Sasha (that's was the one coyote's name. His mother was from Russia) saw the direness of his predicament, and vowed to increase his people's population through improved diet, and a mass fertilisation of everything he ever came across. That improved diet, by the way, included celebrity lap dogs - like the ones recently eaten right out of Paris Hilton's backyard.
The southern California coyote population seems to be working itself well-away from the brink of extinction. This is good news, as just three months ago they'd been diminished by the encroachment of man to a population of one. It lived in a multi-level parking garage just off Sunset Blvd. Luckily for devoted coyote enthusiasts everywhere, Sasha (that's was the one coyote's name. His mother was from Russia) saw the direness of his predicament, and vowed to increase his people's population through improved diet, and a mass fertilisation of everything he ever came across. That improved diet, by the way, included celebrity lap dogs - like the ones recently eaten right out of Paris Hilton's backyard.
Miley Cyrus to Host Massive Party: hecklerspray Trying to Get Guestlisted
You'd think we'd be bored of Miley Cyrus coverage by now. Well, we are. But that doesn't stop us from doing it - especially not when she's selling tickets to her super-mega-ultra sweet 16. Yes, she of Hannah Montana fame and the one that likes to get all (almost) nude for the sake of every man, woman and child in the world is making her party public. Public in Disneyland, which is 85 acres in size, but public nonetheless. All we need to do is save up $250 then hecklerspray can join in the fun - you can bring beer into Disneyland, right? We'll settle for gin, mind. October 5 here we come!
You'd think we'd be bored of Miley Cyrus coverage by now. Well, we are. But that doesn't stop us from doing it - especially not when she's selling tickets to her super-mega-ultra sweet 16. Yes, she of Hannah Montana fame and the one that likes to get all (almost) nude for the sake of every man, woman and child in the world is making her party public. Public in Disneyland, which is 85 acres in size, but public nonetheless. All we need to do is save up $250 then hecklerspray can join in the fun - you can bring beer into Disneyland, right? We'll settle for gin, mind. October 5 here we come!
Lindsay Lohan Kills Off Any Chance of Her Being Interesting Again With Gay Wedding
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
God Tries to Destroy Big Brother America
The most exciting event in Big Brother history has just happened. Unfortunately, the incident happened in America and not in the UK where so far the most exciting thing to do for viewers is count how many times Luke mentions the £100k cheque. We’re always told that things don’t go truly mental until the series kicks off, gets into its stride and sees housemates go quite mental. Sadly the UK version is halfway through and still as exciting as pouring vinegar over your own open wounds. Consequently we’re switching to America for some entertainment. Quite literally we’re thanking God for turning the equally boring show into something worth watching. Fear not, we’ve got a video of it as well, after the jump.
Tila Tequila Changes The World Using MTV
It must be great being this 'Tila Tequila' thing, even if we're still not really sure who or what it really is. For one you get a dating show on MTV all about how you're wacky and bisexual - what ker-azyness - and then you get to tell the world you've single-handedly changed it, giving gay couples the rights they deserve. It's an audacious claim, that's for sure.
It must be great being this 'Tila Tequila' thing, even if we're still not really sure who or what it really is. For one you get a dating show on MTV all about how you're wacky and bisexual - what ker-azyness - and then you get to tell the world you've single-handedly changed it, giving gay couples the rights they deserve. It's an audacious claim, that's for sure.
Ellen & Portia To Sob About Puppies As Properly Married Couple
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
Foxy Brown A Bit Deaf Again, Nobody Cares
It must be awful being deaf in jail - if ever a yell of "Jailbreak!" went up, you'd just carry on sewing mailbags oblivious to all the fun.
And that's what scares Foxy Brown the most. Still in jail, Foxy Brown has requested to go to California to have her cochlear implant examined and possibly repaired before it causes serious permanent damage to her hearing.
And, naturally, judge Justice Melissa Jackson told her to eff off. We'd like to see her be that brave next time she gets with Foxy Brown's hair-pulling range.
