God, what a laugh we all have on Twitter! Don’t we? Isn’t it a total laugh? All those people we’ve met! OK, not met, most of them. But we follow them, and we feel we know them all intimately, because we now know when they tried Marmite cereal bars for the first time, what song they’ve got in their head, and the exact moment that they finally plunge into the churning black sea of despair that lurks threateningly beneath all of us, all the time.
No, don’t look down. Don’t look down. Just close your eyes and feel the chill rising from it. It’s there all right.
But what’s the best laugh of all on Twitter? No, it’s not looking at the @hecklerspray feed and trying to weed out the hilarious and pertinent comments from the vast majority of our sexy and well-informed readership from the deluge of mania from the Jacko/Muse axis of insanity. The best thing about Twitter – the most important thing, the very reason for its existence, more than that whole “bringing down oppressive regimes” stuff which is just a bit of a bummer on a Thursday morning, frankly – is the celebrities!