burglary - HecklerSpray

We’re Running Out Of Headlines For Justin Bieber Being A Dick

May 14th, 2014 By Rhiannon Davies

It’s exam time for a lot of people reading this, and I appreciate you probably haven’t had time to keep up with that crazy kid known as Justin Bieber. So here ‘s a quick update – he’s still acting like a monumental dick.?

Do you need more than that? Well, for your own hate-reading pleasure, may I present the tale of Justin Bieber And The Attempted Burglary Accusation That Isn’t Really That Shocking In The Slightest. It’s a good one as well, it involves a miniature golf course and the phrase “You’re humiliating yourself”.

Sorry Ladies, You Won’t Be Seeing Nicolas Cage’s Treasure Anytime Soon

November 16th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

The world sucks sometimes. You get a speeding ticket, you drop your phone in the toilet playing Temple Run, and then you find out that there’s no such thing as Nicolas Cage’s stolen sex photos.?

Damn, all hot and bothered for nothing. Earlier this week, dirty photos of the global sex icon were apparently stolen from his ex-girlfriend’s house and mere days away from being splattered all over the world wide web for our viewing pleasure. No sooner had our dreams been dangled underneath our nose than they were rudely snatched away again by Nicolas himself. Way to ruin millions of women’s weekends, dude.

Where do you find the sarcasm font on this thing?

World’s Suavest Burglar Is Found In Celine Dion’s House Having Some Cake

September 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Be honest. You’ve thought of stealing from Celine Dion’s home. Rightly, you’ve figured that, if you have to put up with her terrible, terrible music, then it is only fair that you should be able to take her possessions as compensation.

Well, the goalposts have moved now because, if you’re considering burgling Celine, someone has really upped the stakes.

The ‘singer’ had her house broken into on Monday by a man so suave that he should be given a medal so large, that it blots out the sun.

Stoners Break Into 50 Cent’s House To Get Drunk And Forget To Steal Anything

December 22nd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

50 Cent is the most aspirational human on the planet. Basically, he earns obscene amounts of money to rap, despite the fact that every time he opens his mouth, it’s like eavesdropping on a speech therapy clinic.

If Fiddy can get paid to rap, then you dear reader, can achieve absolutely anything you want if you put your little pea-brains to work.

However, Bifty Pent’s insane riches have landed him in a weird situation. See, some dorks decided to break into his house. You’re probably thinking they were in his palatial surrounds to steal things. Not so. What unfurls is like a Harold and Kumar script.

Man Arrested For Knocking On Paris Hilton’s Door

October 13th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Paris Hilton is quite keen for us to explore her weird celebutante world. She’s encouraged us to watch her do work experience (as in, experience work for the first time) and she’s asked us to become her new best friend. She’s even allowed us to watch her having sex, which was kind of her.

However, what she isn’t so thrilled about is when we knock on her door to see if she’s coming out playing.

We know this because some bloke has been arrested for going knocking on her door. As well as some other weird stuff.