Welcome to week three of our 400-week-long look at the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest.

We know you’re only reading this because you’re a crazy-eyed Eurovision fanatic, so here’s a Eurovision fact for you: Poland made the most impressive debut in 1994, when Edyta Gorniak came second with To Nie Ja, closely followed by Serbia’s victory in 2007. Cut that fact out and keep it, Eurovision fans. Cut it out of the internet. With scissors.

Here’s today’s Eurovision 2009 profile – it’s Krassimir Avramov from Bulgaria…

Bulgaria · Krassimir Avramov, Illusion

Krassimir Avramov is obviously a man. Just look at the video to his Eurovision entry Illusion for evidence – there he is, riding a charging stallion in a full suit of armour ready to destroy his enemies. What a man he is. He makes us feel emasculated. Or at least he would if Illusion didn’t sound like a tinpot remix of an embarrassingly sub-Backstreet Boys winge-ballad. It doesn’t help that Krassimir Avramov has a voice like a eunach falling head-first into a theremin, nor that the English lyrics are all rendered incomprehensible by his tendency to yelp like he’s been goosed in the middle of every single word he sings. Obviously the flat-out misery of Illusion’s very existence is partially lightened by the fact that Krassimir has inexplicably decided to use a fully topless woman in its official video – which is also the reason why we’re moving to Bulgaria as soon as possible – but we can’t see him getting away with this trick come the actual Eurovision finals. Shame.

Tomorrow – Croatia!

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Eurovision betting odds anyone? Of course you want Eurovision betting odds. Doesn’t everyone?

As if you didn’t already know, this year’s Eurovision Song Contest is being held in Belgrade. You might wonder why Eurovision is letting the contest take place in a city that still needs humanitarian aid shipments sent from abroad while foreign embassies get destroyed in violent riots, but the answer is simple – nothing bonds fractious groups like ironic appreciation of awful music. Which is why there’ll never be peace in Palestine until Dustin The Turkey goes on a goodwill tour.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Bulgaria, with help from Paddy Power…

Bulgaria – (pop. 7,537,929; a republic in the southeast of Europe): Deep Zone and Balthazar, DJ, Take Me Away

After last year’s Eurovision betting odds – when we got hammered by Bulgarians for not liking their entry – we vowed to go easier on the country. At least that was until we heard the Bulgarian entry for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. DJ, Take Me Away by Deep Zone and Balthazar barely fits into the usual definition of awful – it’s a brand-new, should be used on an advert for Cheesestrings, type of awful. DJ, Take Me Away starts off with a middle-aged DJ scratching along to some sub-Chemical Brothers big beat nonsense, at which point there’s an interlude that sounds like Morcheeba performing Police cover versions. There’s also sampled machinegun fire and more ropey beatboxing than you’d get in a minibus full of Daniel Bedingfields. The lyrics aren’t much cop either – as you’d expect, they mostly concern a girl asking a DJ to take her away when the lights go down. Chances are she means ‘take me away’ as in ‘remove my inhibitions and grant me access to pure freedom through expression in the world of dance’, but this song’s so bad we’re hoping the DJ mishears that as ‘bundle me into a binbag, take me away to a flooded quarry and chuck me in’. Current Eurovision betting odds – 16/1

Tomorrow: Croatia! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.