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HecklerSpray Day 17: Fantastic Year in Music

December 17th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

While 2017 saw a fuck ton of global tragedy and bullshit, it also saw one hell of a year in music! You had mega artists like Bruno Mars and Jay-Z release their best albums to date, “24K Magic” and “4:44” respectively, and you had new artists like SZA and Cardi B come out and just crush it.

We also had everyone’s favorite crybaby, Drake, release his newest album “More Life”, and while I really really liked the album, I can’t help but wonder if Drake releases a new album every single year? Like, is that a thing? Anyway…

5 Reasons to Watch the 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

December 1st, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show happened in Paris this week and it airs this coming Monday, and, honestly, I’m incredibly stoked to watch it. Watching hot skinny bitches in lingerie I can’t afford is legitimately how I like to start my holiday season, as bizarre as that sounds.

Aside from the fact the whole thing is just beautiful women walking around half naked while super talented musicians perform, there are actually some really pop culture relevant reasons to tune in this year specifically!

Bruno Mars Cleared Of Cocaine Charges: Should’ve Got The Chair

January 19th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

There is no-one more hateful on planet Earth than Bruno Mars. Absolutely everything about him is odious to the point of a year-long continuous vomit. And yet, there’s people out there who are determined to keep him in the public eye.

His songs are played, his stupid goofy expression keeps appearing on our televisions and no-one seems to care that he sang ‘meet a really nice girl and have some really nice sex, and she’s gonna scream out ‘THIS IS GREAT!’‘ while others willingly join in with “I’ll be lounging on my couch just chillin’ in my snuggie“

You monsters. And now, the law has decided that cocaine possession charges against Mars should be dismissed when really, he should’ve been sent to the electric chair for his awful, tepid, vapid, intestinal dissolving music.

Bruno Mars To Ensure That Twilight Breaking Dawn Will Be Most Hateful Film Ever Made

September 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

What’s worse than faux-broody simpering glittercock vampires? Bruno Mars, that’s what. He’s far, far worse. He’s magnolia emulsion personified. He’s about four inches tall with three feet of hair and has answered the question nobody wanted answering: Who is the next Jack Johnson?

And thanks to fate being more cruel than a clone army of Mugabes, somehow both of these shuddering worlds of colostomy have collided.

That’s right – the Twilight Breaking Dawn (Part 1) soundtrack will be lead by Bruno Mars, complete with put on emoting and grotesque politeness, thinly masking his ghoulish contempt for the earholes of the world.

J-Lo’s Ex Is Having It Away With Will Smith’s Wife In Famous By Association Triste?

September 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Jennifer Lopez split up with her fella, Marc Anthony recently, and everyone was so shocked that the UN set up a helpline to stop us all from committing suicide in the streets. It really was an awful time.

It’s about to get worse.

See, Marc Anthony is not happy to just break one celebrity marriage now that he’s been reported to be “inappropriately close” to Jada Pinkett Smith – or, if you prefer, Will Smith’s wife. Oooooooh. Don’t mess with lovely Will Smith.

Wiki-Wa-Will Smith To Make Rap Comeback

August 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The best ears in rap are coming back! Yep, you guessed it, Will Smith is to return to the mic to show those odiously gifted children of his how it should be done. No mucking about with Bieber, no whipping of hair. It’s all about making the friendliest hip hop since DJ Sven and MC Miker G.

Apparently, he’ll be working with someone called La Mar ‘Mars’ Edwards.

We can be thankful that didn’t read Bruno Mars who has the distinction of being the most punchable person on planet Earth right now. We’d like to punch Bruno Mars so hard that all that is left of him is a horrible little stain on our knuckles. But we’re talking about the lovable eared Will Smith. Aww. Ain’t he grand?