HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

moonThis week?s half full and half empty.

Folded:

  • Moon (strange Sam Rockwell, watchable as ever)
  • Plaid shirts (classic style anonymity. Buy a padded one to look like a window cleaner)
  • When Eight Bells Toll (the youngest you've ever seen Anthony Hopkins. If you're off sick this is bound to be on Film4. It'll really pass the time too)
  • Omega Seamaster watch (you can't afford one, but no-one will know when you stare through the jewellers? window)
  • Autumn video games (Modern Warfare 2, Splinter Cell: Conviction, Uncharted 2, Alpha Protocol, etc ? prepare to have your pockets lightened)
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Terrorists Want To Fly Planes Into Big Gay Bruno

July 17th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

bruno_poster-150x1501The thing about terrorists is this – sure, they’re more than happy to sit giggling in a small room with a flaming gay Austrian for hours on end, but if you put it in an international film, darn it all, they are gonna have to save face.

And when we say save face, we mean they’re gonna have to kill Sacha Baron Cohen. After all, in his Bruno movie he somehow made them all look homo friendly – and something like that?could lead to a lot of teasing at the next militant Muslim extremist Christmas gala.

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Bruno Penetrates The Weekend Box Office

July 12th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Bruno, weekend box office, Sacha Baron Cohen, TransformersIt's the second-most controversial film of the year – after Paul Blart – but Bruno has aced the weekend box office.

Despite attracting waves of controversy based on its edgy subject matter, Bruno – Sacha Baron Cohen?s follow-up to Borat – has entered the US weekend box office at number one, where it will definitely remain next week even though Harry Potter?s coming out.

It just goes to show that Transformers isn't the only movie that can break records this year – Bruno has officially become the highest-grossing movie ever to feature a talking urethra. Michael Bay, we await your response with baited breath.

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Sacha Baron Cohen Gets Sued, Part 23: This Time It’s War

June 4th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Sacha Baron Cohen Bruno Borat lawsuit bingo hallThings that are certain in life: Big Brother will be awful but it will drag us all in for the hideous ride. Death, taxes and an irritating headache on the day you’re supposed to be going on a big night out. Sacha Baron Cohen will get sued eight billion times for whichever of his comedy characters he’s been parading around most recently.

Yes, the latter has once again happened, with Cohen’s Bruno being sued for allegedly hurting a woman in a bingo hall quite badly.

Normally this would bring cries of derision from hecklerspray, but this time it looks a bit different…

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Bruno Lands in Eminem’s Lap: People Are Shocked It’s Staged

June 1st, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Eminem, Bruno, MTV movie AwardsThe MTV Movie Awards are fertile ground for hecklerspray-baiting tosh to do the rounds, though sometimes it is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. From extreme close range. With a bazooka.

Nevertheless, the tween ceremony which has produced an average of one genuine laugh per every three years – not a bad statistic – has a new notch on the bedpost where they can proudly boast ‘we made a website that doesn’t like Robert Pattison laugh. A bit’.

Why? Well: Sacha Baron Cohen‘s gay Austrian fashion journalist creation, Bruno, landed half-naked in the lap of Marshall Mathers‘ gay-disliking American irritant/rapper, Eminem.

That’s a lot of bold.

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Paula Abdul Gets Borated By Bruno

May 1st, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

paula-abdulWhen Hecklerspray gets called into various places to accept awards and whatnot, we routinely do four things.

The first is we always have a sword pointed at the innards of whoever hands us our trophy. That’s just to ensure an enthusiastic and positive over-the-top speech, which works well over half the time. If you Youtube ‘Hecklerspray, Billy Crystal, Kidney Sack Spill’ ‘you’ll see exactly what we’re talking about there.

Other major celebrities have a similar routine of only attending certain award ceremonies. Paula Abdul, for instance, only attends them when the presenter is Sacha Baron Cohen with cameras rolling.

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Watch The New Bruno Trailer Now

April 3rd, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

brunoIch vas wrong when I thought that Sacha Baron Cohen’s camp crusader, Bruno, would be a slice of cringe-worthy crap.

The Cambridge educated comedian is back on form after Borat and causes a storm of trouble as a gay Austrian fashionista. Censors in the US are not amused and consider his homosexual humour to be ‘over the line’.

So far they’ve rated Bruno NC-17, which means the film may not see a commercial release but is guaranteed to be good.

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Sacha Baron Cohen Turns Cage Fighting Totally Gay

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

We have a friend that used to orchestrate panda fights in her basement.

She’d charge $12 a pop to watch, and when enough people were gathered around she’d let the beasts out of their cages. Those pandas are savage animals too – we saw them skin a guy once. It was a half-dead senior citizen, but a guy nonetheless.

But all that was when the pandas were younger. With the passing of time came panda-related geriatric problems. Also with the passing of time came a strange gay-panda love affair. It was actually horrific – not that anything’s wrong with that.

That experience is why we feel we can relate so well to a whole bunch of people in Arkansas. They showed up for a vicious cage fight, and what they got instead was two grown mean undressing each other in a flurry of lust and passion.

And you know who people are blaming? Borat. We mean Bruno. People are blaming Bruno.

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