bruce willis - HecklerSpray

Scout WIllis Is On A “Free The Titties!” Mission

May 29th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

The last time Scout Willis was in the news, it was because she got arrested for underage drinking.? She made that memorable for me by being a dumbass and giving the police her fake ID, because they don’t run or check those things or anything.? Goes to show you money doesn’t make you smart.? Since then, she’d been pretty quiet.? Until now.

Scout, the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore that doesn’t completely look like a real life Potato Head, is a girl on a mission.? She is tired of the hypocrisy surrounding boobs, especially with Instagram, so she has decided to publicly fight it.? And fight it in the most overexposed way possible.

Demi Moore – Hell Hath No Fury Like a Gold Digger Scorned

June 5th, 2013 By Natalia Kemble

They say all is fair in love and war but this old verse is practically law in The Gospel According To Demi Moore.

Ashton Kutcher’s ex struck straight for the jugular – his pocket – and demanded to see the financial reports to a business that he set up AFTER their split. So eager for a bigger slice of the pie, Demi Gimme Moore actually obliged Ashton’s request to sign a confidentiality agreement in return for the records.?

The 5 Most Intelligent Time Travel Movies Ever

July 7th, 2017 By Gavin Bard

With the release of Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Bruce Willis Jr.’s new film Looper hitting the theaters, I was reminded that every so often Hollywood ends up making a time travel movie that actually has a bit of a brain behind it. Smart movies are few and far between, but smart time traveling movies are a rarity that springs forth once every hundred Timecops.

A smart movie about time travel is a different thing than a smart movie about, say, actual science. When a movie like ?The Core? comes out and just acts like the world can stop spinning without much consequence, or when ?The Day After Tomorrow? says you can walk from Philadelphia to New York in three days during the ice age, you’ve got a stupid movie. There isn’t really any science for time travel to be held up against. Instead, a smart time travel movie is a movie that at least pretends the subject is serious and realistic.

Bruce Willis: Champion Booze Innovator

December 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Bruce Willis. Actor. Man who made being bald cool. Ex of Demi Moore. Singer who was signed to Motown Records (yes, really). Funny and seemingly pretty decent bloke. So what else can he do?

Is there any end to his talents?

Seemingly not as ol’ Willzo is a booze innovator. Basically, you’ve all been tackling your liquor all wrong. You have. You’ve just been drinking it, haven’t you? Straight from the bottle or pouring it into a glass like a big, boring berk. It is time for Bruce Willis to teach you in the ways of alcoholic righteousness.

Bruce Willis To Make More Aesthetically Disappointing Children! Chin Chin!

October 27th, 2011 By Sophie Hall

We hear congratulations are in order.?WE KNOW! WE KNOW! A Cosmopolitan… Oh alright, fine. Here’s the news, killjoys.

Bruce Willis has successfully?impregnated?another shiny, shiny woman with his brutal gametes. He must stop, really. He’s destroyed so much beauty in the universe already.

Yes, that’s the one. Bruce Willis and a woman called Emma Heming (Well, there’s our new pub quiz team name sorted.) are having an ooh-baby-baby. Oh sorry, we should do that skeptical “comma, insert incredibly old age” thing that the Daily Mail do to highlight how wrong it is when people attempt to achieve things outside the realms of The Good Life.

Top 10 Weirdest Celebrity TV Commercials

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Celebrities have always endorsed tat to make a bit of extra coin for themselves. They’re a brazen bunch, willing to sign up to almost anything. It’s almost impressive really. They’re nakedly greedy and don’t mind showing it off.

From Iggy Pop’s dodgy insurance commercials to Chubby Checker endorsing his own beef jerky, there’s always someone trying to steal a coin from your pocket.

However, marketing and pop culture – as intertwined as they may be – don’t mix too well sometimes. This is why we’re going to have a look at some of the more peculiar celebrity endorsements.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Grandmother Was A ‘C**t’. Says Gwyneth Paltrow.

April 27th, 2011 By Amy Grindhouse

Gwyneth Paltrow is the love of our lives. She’s adored more than every single one of the people we drunkenly fumbled around with behind the bike sheds in heckler high school. More than the assorted people we’ve since collectively married in Las Vegas – none of whom we’ve bothered to divorce because we each yelled ‘Take backsies!’ She’s the site’s #1. Because, to be blunt, she’s a b*tch.

And she provides a disproportionate amount of fodder in the form of obnoxious quotes. In this case, she even sounds sanctimonious when talking about how her c**t grandmother is more of a c**t than your peasant grandmother.

Wait what?

Gwyneth Paltrow Signs $900K Music Contract Making A Total Of Zero Musicans In Her House

March 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gwyneth Paltrow is about to become the latest actor who thinks that it is completely fine to totter toward the world of pop music and have a stab at turning it into a career, despite the fact that this road is littered with corpses of thesps who have failed miserably before her.

And yes, we will be looking at actors who have made awful records in the past, but give us a second to be nasty about her first, okay?

Paltrow is apparently set to sign a $900,000 contract with Atlantic Records, which must be a moment of real pride for her husband, Coldplay’s Chris Martin. If you multiply their musical talents, it might just scrape the equivalent music prowess of someone like… we dunno… Chris De Burgh’s little toe. And De Burgh is about as musically gifted as a horse in labour (apologies to Mr Ed who we’re sure had a lovely singing voice).

Bruce Willis Survives Brutal Escalator Attack

October 7th, 2010 By Kris Silver

Hollywood hard-man Bruce Willis has managed to cheat death whilst attending a screening of his latest testosterone fuelled blockbuster. What was the source of the action star?s brush with death I hear you ask, an escalator.

No, you didn't read that wrong, Bruce Willis was nearly maimed by a moving staircase whilst on the way to watch his new film, Red, which sees Willis staring alongside John Malkovic and Dame Helen Mirren as?a retired CIA black-ops agent that’s being hunted down. Only in America.

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Die Hard Scenes

September 1st, 2010 By Kris Silver

With Sly Stallone’s bizarre announcement that he’d like Bruce Willis to appear as a villain in The Expendables 2 (because apparently flogging a dead horse once just isn’t enough) we here at Hecklerspray decided to man up and have ourselves a good, ol’ fashioned Die Hard marathon, to re-acquaint ourselves with one of our favourite action movie icons.

But something troubled us deeply, Die Hard, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance and Die Hard 4.0: Life Free or Die Hard, the scenes seemed to be a lot more ridiculous than we remembered. Happily this meant that we can bring you the top 10 most ridiculous scenes from the Die Hard series.

Be prepared for explosions, gravity defying stunts and an old man who’s harder than the nails in his coffin in this summer’s most action packed, critically acclaimed and hotly anticipated Hecklerspray top 10!