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Brooke Mueller

Brooke Mueller Possibly Goes To Rehab Again For The First Time, Maybe

by Stuart Heritage

As Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller understands that she needs to act in an appropriate manner.

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Charlie Sheen Charged With Being A Violent Git

by Stuart Heritage

We’ve long been believers of the old saying “nothing says ‘I love you’ like pulling a knife on your wife on Christmas day”.

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Charlie Sheen: Brooke Mueller Goes To Rehab For Something

by Stuart Heritage

Surely by now karma owes Brooke Mueller something nice. She’s married to Charlie Sheen, for crying out loud.

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Charlie Sheen Allowed To Scare Wife Better In Hospital

by Stuart Heritage

Brooke Mueller has got it right – sure, lots of people think that Charlie Sheen is an unhinged, unfunny toolbag.

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Charlie Sheen Forgets Domestic Abuse, Keeps Making Woeful Sitcom

by Stuart Heritage

So Charlie Sheen spent a lot of Christmas in jail on suspicion of domestically assaulting his wife, but so what?

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Charlie Sheen Has Twin Boys To One Day Fight Over

by Stuart Heritage

Say what you will about Charlie Sheen – that he’s a lumpen, one-note actor who lucked into success, for instance.

But you can’t fault his timing. That’s because Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller have chosen now to give birth to twin boys named Max and Bob. Why is that significant? Because it synchronises nicely with his ex-wife Denise Richards’ stint on Dancing With The Stars.

So congratulations to Charlie Sheen, and good luck to Denise Richards, who’ll be so attention-seeking this week that her routine will climax with a spontaneous combustion that splatters guts all down Len Goodman’s suit.

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Charlie Sheen Gets Brooke Mueller Pregnant, Refuses To Learn

by Stuart Heritage

Thank heavens that Charlie Sheen is fertile, for without his potent little sperm there’d be nothing left for him to bitterly argue with his ex-wives over.

And Charlie Sheen is also a long-distance thinker, because he’s just got his ex-wife Brooke Mueller pregnant. This means that as soon as his children with Denise Richards are old enough to think for themselves, he can quickly divorce Brooke Mueller and start having weird little public custody rages with her instead.

Clever Charlie Sheen, he’s always that one step ahead.

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Charlie Sheen Marries Another Bitter Divorcee-In-Waiting

by Stuart Heritage

If we were to make a list of women we’d want to attack in an angry display of jealousy, then Charlie Sheen’s new wife Brooke Mueller would be top of the list.

Why? Because she’s married to Charlie Sheen, that’s why! We’ve had our eye on him for ages and, by getting married to him on Friday, Brooke Mueller has swiped him right out from under our noses. We’ll never get to star in a bitter reality TV show about why we hate our ex-husband Charlie Sheen now! Never!

Brooke Mueller, you heed our words – next time you spy Charlie Sheen looking at internet porn sites featuring very young girls or get caught on the wrong end of a foul-mouthed Charlie Sheen tirade about why it’s funny that your mother’s got cancer, remember that the crushing, life-sapping sense of anguish you feel was meant for us. Us!

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