Articles tagged with: Bronx Mowgli Wentz
Pete Wentz Isn’t Selling Photos Of His Stupidly-Named Tot, OK?
Everyone wants to see Bronx Mowgli Wentz - because if the face matches the name then that's one ugly baby. But cool your jets, world. Pete Wentz doesn't roll like those other celebrity idiots. True, he does roll like those other celebrity idiots in that he's got a stupid haircut, a humiliatingly-named baby and he married one of the Simpson girls without really thinking it through first, but Pete Wentz definitely isn't selling his baby photos to a magazine. Bronx Mowgli's just too precious for that. Plus it'll mean that now Pete'll make a crapload from selling the reality TV show rights. A crapload.
Everyone wants to see Bronx Mowgli Wentz - because if the face matches the name then that's one ugly baby. But cool your jets, world. Pete Wentz doesn't roll like those other celebrity idiots. True, he does roll like those other celebrity idiots in that he's got a stupid haircut, a humiliatingly-named baby and he married one of the Simpson girls without really thinking it through first, but Pete Wentz definitely isn't selling his baby photos to a magazine. Bronx Mowgli's just too precious for that. Plus it'll mean that now Pete'll make a crapload from selling the reality TV show rights. A crapload.
Ashlee Simpson Gets $2 Million To Show People Her Stupid Baby
If you're named Bronx Mowgli Wentz, it's a given that you'll end up either in therapy or buying a great big bag of guns. Both outcomes are hideously expensive - any therapy you had would last for decades and the legal bills you'd rack up from climbing a clocktower and blasting away indiscriminately at strangers for an hour as revenge for the years of teasing would be immense - so it's just as well that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have already worked out a way to set Bronx Mowgli Wentz up with a fortune. According to reports, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz could command anything up to $2 million from magazines in exchange for exclusive photos of the baby. The money would go a long way to help clean up all the gallons of poo, pee, snot and runny vomit that the couple have found themselves living amid this last week. Or they could use it to wipe up the mess that baby Bronx Mowgli made instead. It's up to them.
If you're named Bronx Mowgli Wentz, it's a given that you'll end up either in therapy or buying a great big bag of guns. Both outcomes are hideously expensive - any therapy you had would last for decades and the legal bills you'd rack up from climbing a clocktower and blasting away indiscriminately at strangers for an hour as revenge for the years of teasing would be immense - so it's just as well that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have already worked out a way to set Bronx Mowgli Wentz up with a fortune. According to reports, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz could command anything up to $2 million from magazines in exchange for exclusive photos of the baby. The money would go a long way to help clean up all the gallons of poo, pee, snot and runny vomit that the couple have found themselves living amid this last week. Or they could use it to wipe up the mess that baby Bronx Mowgli made instead. It's up to them.
Here’s Why Pete Wentz Gave His Son That Stupid Name
Bronx Mowgli Wentz is a combination of words so stupid that it makes people want to punch themselves in the face just for saying it out loud. So, by deciding to name his firstborn child Bronx Mowgli Wentz, Pete Wentz opened up a real can of borderline child abuse. In fact, the outrage over the name Bronx Mowgli Wentz has been so huge that Pete Wentz has been forced to explain the vast secrets behind its meaning. Ready to have your minds blown? OK - he and Ashlee Simpson chose Mowgli as a name because they quite like The Jungle Book. Astounding, we know. But Pete Wentz wants to keep the meaning behind the Bronx part of the name a secret. He won't have much luck, though, because scientists have already boiled the meaning down to either a) Pete Wentz quite likes the Bronx, b) Ashlee Simpson quite likes the Bronx or c) they are both clueless fartwhumps.
Bronx Mowgli Wentz is a combination of words so stupid that it makes people want to punch themselves in the face just for saying it out loud. So, by deciding to name his firstborn child Bronx Mowgli Wentz, Pete Wentz opened up a real can of borderline child abuse. In fact, the outrage over the name Bronx Mowgli Wentz has been so huge that Pete Wentz has been forced to explain the vast secrets behind its meaning. Ready to have your minds blown? OK - he and Ashlee Simpson chose Mowgli as a name because they quite like The Jungle Book. Astounding, we know. But Pete Wentz wants to keep the meaning behind the Bronx part of the name a secret. He won't have much luck, though, because scientists have already boiled the meaning down to either a) Pete Wentz quite likes the Bronx, b) Ashlee Simpson quite likes the Bronx or c) they are both clueless fartwhumps.
No Free BMW For Baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz
And there we were thinking that Ashlee Simpson called her baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz because she hates it and wants it to be bullied forever. How wrong we were. According to some reports, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz may have settled on Bronx Mowgli Wentz because then they'd have a baby with the initials BMW, vastly increasing the chance of BMW giving the couple a new car as a way of thanking them for the unofficial endorsement of their brand. But that hasn't happened. A BMW spokesman has been quoted as saying that Bronx Mowgli Wentz wouldn't be getting a free car, not even on his 16th birthday. You know what this means, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? It's back to the drawing board. In nine months' time, baby Tassimo Easyjet Argos PlayStation Tizer Wentz is going to turn your luck around!
And there we were thinking that Ashlee Simpson called her baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz because she hates it and wants it to be bullied forever. How wrong we were. According to some reports, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz may have settled on Bronx Mowgli Wentz because then they'd have a baby with the initials BMW, vastly increasing the chance of BMW giving the couple a new car as a way of thanking them for the unofficial endorsement of their brand. But that hasn't happened. A BMW spokesman has been quoted as saying that Bronx Mowgli Wentz wouldn't be getting a free car, not even on his 16th birthday. You know what this means, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? It's back to the drawing board. In nine months' time, baby Tassimo Easyjet Argos PlayStation Tizer Wentz is going to turn your luck around!
