broken window - HecklerSpray

Rihanna Back With Chris Brown For Round 2 Of Listening To ‘Smack My Bitch Up’?

January 19th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Guess what?! It’s nearly February 8th! What does that mean? Well, that date marks the three-year anniversary of Chris Brown punching ten shades out of his then-girlfriend Rihanna! Ain’t that grand? It really is. The whole world came together like knuckles on eye-socket on that day.

And there’s more!

See, despite previously being forcibly separated by a court order, RiRi and Breezy (honestly, what is it with these nicknames? Are they 10 years old or something?) could be seeing in the anniversary together as multiple sources confirm that the pair have been secretly been (right) hooking up for nearly a year!

Chris Brown Won’t Be Doing Interviews In 2012 Because He’s Tired Of Being Reminded That He’s An Idiot

January 6th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Oh dear. Poor ol’ Chris Brown has got his boxing gloves in a twist. See, he doesn’t like people asking him about the terrible things he’s done in the past. The last time someone broached the topic of him punching Rihanna, he tore his shirt off and threw a chair at a window.

And so, instead of addressing the issues and maybe saying sorry, showing that he’s grown up and wants to move on, he’s decided to go with another tactic.

In 2012, Chris Brown has announced there will be a ban on all interviews. That’s right. Tired of people pointing out you’re an idiot? Then stick your fingers in your ears for a whole calendar year and laughably suggest that you should be judge solely on your ‘talent’.

Chris Brown Allowed Back To The Grammys Following His Fisting Incident With Rihanna

December 30th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Bugger. A new year is nearly upon us which means award ceremonies will soon be in full swing. February will see Adele win every award she's nominated for at The Brits because quantity of sales rules over quality of music these days.

The Brit awards are so dull that the most mind shattering event to have ever happened was when Labour politician John Prescott got a bucket of ice water tipped over him. Imagine if he'd froze to death or got his suit ruined?

For real controversy, you can always count on America. Back in 2009, Rihanna and Chris Brown were scheduled to individually perform at the Grammys, the only ceremony in the world where people honour country & western music. Sadly for Rihanna, Chris Brown got a little excited about the evening ahead and started fist bumping her repeatedly in the face. But hey, that happened years ago and it seems the organisers of the Grammys have completely forgotten this.

Chris Brown Gets Owned By Kansas Rapper Mac Lethal

December 5th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

All industries are dominated by a few major players -? just look at the computer you're using. It'll either be a PC or a magical Mac that claims to aid you in ways you didn't think existed. In the music world, different genres have varied leading individuals.

In the world of rap & hip-hop, there are plenty to pick from; ranging from Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Kanye. Remarkably, one person whose still has a career despite his woman punchingpast is Chris Brown.

Since his incident with Rihanna and other angry antics, it's remarkably easy to make fun of Chris Brown and the rest of Team Breezy. Team Hecklerspreezy doesn’t mind being the crew to do just that. However, we've been alerted to a piece of satire that is amazing in a variety of ways. So stop reading our ropey sentences and watch Mac Lethal slay Chris Brown with some lyrical pancakes.

Chris Brown Wins Loads Of Hip-Hop Awards, But None For Beating Women

October 13th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

If we were in charge of the Hip-Hop awards, we?d boil everything down to just one award which congratulated an artist for name checking themselves at least fifty times per song and rhyming words ridiculously fast.

But like any other dull awards ceremony, tedious trophies are given to anyone who wears an entire gold mine round their neck.

One of the most popular bucktoothed faces of modern hip-hop is none other than Chris Brown. Whilst repetitively hitting someone in the face would land the average person a long prison sentence, the opposite happened to our gormless friend.

Chris Brown Banned From UK, Which Is Everyone’s Fault Except His (Includes Holograms)

October 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

There aren’t many people out there who take Chris Brown’s past very seriously. Apparently, we should just forget all about the whole punching Rihanna in the face repeatedly and storming around a TV studio, shirtless, throwing chairs at windows.

It’s our fault. Not his. We should just let go. Despite the fact he hasn’t ever got around to actually saying sorry. That’s probably our fault as well.

And, in another move that’s probably our fault as well, Brown has been banned from entering the UK to perform at the ill-advised Michael Jackson tribute concert in Cardiff, because he has a criminal record from punching Rihanna in the face. Loads.

Rihanna Farmer Gets Hate Mail But Will Probably End Up Naked Himself At Some Point

October 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

We’ve all seen rather a lot of Rihanna over the years and she’s increasingly keen to tell us all about her sex-life. Basically, she’s now sounding like one of those highly sexualised virgins you find taking self-shots on Tumblr.

Ostensibly, she’s turning into one of those tiresome young people who can’t stop talking about vaguely risque sex, but regrettably, is very easy on the eye so we all gawp like sickos every time she flashes her arse.

Yet, as we know, last week Northern Irish farmerman Alan Graham asked Rihanna to leave his field after he spotted her running around with her baps out while she shot a promotional video. And now he’s getting hatemail from Rihanna fans who are clearly the most stupid people on Earth (not including Chris Brown and Queen fans, natch).

Chris Brown Collapses For Love And Manages To Not Punch Anyone [Video]

September 28th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

When Chris Brown was at school, we imagine that he was the kid who tried his best to do everything right, but always screwed up. But, as everyone knows, Brown discovered a talent he excels at over most people.

Team Breezy, aka Deluded Lovers of Chris Brown will claim it's the size of his love sausage following leaked photos, but people living in the real world know he's a champion boxer.

Granted, he hasn't battled anyone in the ring, though Rihanna has first-hand experience of how a buck toothed twerp gets rid of his frustrations. But don't worry; all he needed to do was show he was a kind and caring individual by recording a song with crooning foetus Justin Bieber, making everything as right as a jab to the face.

Rihanna Gets Boobs Out At God-Fearing Northern Irish Farmer

September 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Northern Ireland is a strange bit of the world to visit. For starters, they call underpants ‘gonks’. Secondly, they still have a man sat in a broom cupboard introducing Coronation Street. He’s called Julian and we’re told he’s the only official homosexual in the North of Ireland.

Apart from Julian, Niron had a brush with another superstar, this time, Rihanna. She was filming a video in a corn field in Bangor.

However, things took a turn for the filthy when Rihanna got her breasts out, causing an incident with a local farmer… and you don’t mess with Northern Irish farmers or you might end up in a shallow pit covered in lime, just behind the shed filled with contraband machine guns.

Chris Brown Won’t Like The Levy Apology, But In Fairness, He Did Punch Rihanna Loads [video]

August 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Chris ‘Slugger’ Brown. He’s a really famous guy isn’t he? He’s been welcomed back to the fold after he punched Rihanna so many times that she almost looked unattractive. Almost. You still would’ve, right?

Anyway, ol’ good-with-his-hands Brown has mystifyingly been let-off for domestically abusing one-off all over RiRi’s face, which must provide great hope for Mel ‘I only slapped her because she was mental’ Gibson.

We’re not the only ones who think it a little odd that Team Breezy think that we should just forget about all that punching a woman business because he’s made some awful soul-pop records. Some chap called Andy Levy made a really good joke about Brown’s fondness of caressing a lady’s face with his knuckles, and has since apologised in a way that Brown and his fans won’t like one bit.