Articles tagged with: Broadway
Jerry Lewis To Eat Broadway Or Something
If there's one thing Hecklerspray thoroughly enjoys, it's necking with the various plant life naturally inhabiting Puerto Rico. Sure - you may think that sounds weird but that's just because you've never seen one of their shrubs in a bikini. You should go in the late spring - that's when things are particularly leafy. If there's another thing we love it's watching Broadway shows written by heavy-set senior citizens who carry guns through airport metal detectors and then fake dismay when TSA declines them that privilege. Lucky for us, then, that Jerry Lewis is bringing his Nutty Professor movie to Broadway.
If there's one thing Hecklerspray thoroughly enjoys, it's necking with the various plant life naturally inhabiting Puerto Rico. Sure - you may think that sounds weird but that's just because you've never seen one of their shrubs in a bikini. You should go in the late spring - that's when things are particularly leafy. If there's another thing we love it's watching Broadway shows written by heavy-set senior citizens who carry guns through airport metal detectors and then fake dismay when TSA declines them that privilege. Lucky for us, then, that Jerry Lewis is bringing his Nutty Professor movie to Broadway.
Daniel Craig & Hugh Jackman In ‘Some Dreary Play About Policemen’
Here's a killer pitch for you. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together. Sounds good, huh? Wait, we're not finished. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together... within the strict confines of the law. And nobody kills anyone. And nothing explodes. And there's probably a lot of crying. And it's not even a film, it's a play. God, we take it all back. This is a rubbish pitch. But it's going to happen. Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman are going to star in that exact play on Broadway. Not James Bond and Wolverine. Sorry.
Here's a killer pitch for you. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together. Sounds good, huh? Wait, we're not finished. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together... within the strict confines of the law. And nobody kills anyone. And nothing explodes. And there's probably a lot of crying. And it's not even a film, it's a play. God, we take it all back. This is a rubbish pitch. But it's going to happen. Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman are going to star in that exact play on Broadway. Not James Bond and Wolverine. Sorry.
Jane Fonda Does Broadway, Sadly Not For Monster-In-Law Revival
When an actor does a Broadway play, it's either because they want to further their craft or because they can't get movie work any more. With that in mind, Jane Fonda - the woman last seen smugly screaming about how old she was on an advert for overpriced skin cream - has just agreed to do a Broadway play. We hear she's going to further that craft like the son of a bitch it is. The good news is that Jane Fonda has decided to star in 33 Variations, a play about a woman studying a waltz that Beethoven also studied. The bad news is that Jane Fonda isn't starring in a belated stage adaptation of Barbarella because, what with Equus doing so well, it would have provided a nice overflow play for theatregoers interested in enduring a barrage of stomach-churningly inappropriate nudity.
When an actor does a Broadway play, it's either because they want to further their craft or because they can't get movie work any more. With that in mind, Jane Fonda - the woman last seen smugly screaming about how old she was on an advert for overpriced skin cream - has just agreed to do a Broadway play. We hear she's going to further that craft like the son of a bitch it is. The good news is that Jane Fonda has decided to star in 33 Variations, a play about a woman studying a waltz that Beethoven also studied. The bad news is that Jane Fonda isn't starring in a belated stage adaptation of Barbarella because, what with Equus doing so well, it would have provided a nice overflow play for theatregoers interested in enduring a barrage of stomach-churningly inappropriate nudity.
Katie Holmes Does Some Acting, Seems To Think It’s A Big Deal
With the economy the way it is, what better way to cheer everyone up than a 61-year-old play about suicide starring Tom Cruise's wife? Last night, that's what the world got - Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller's All My Sons. It's a big career move for her - we'll no longer see Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's wife, but as Tom Cruise's wife who Tom Cruise occasionally lets star in plays so long as she promises to never get more famous than him. All My Sons is, of course, a harsh critique of the American dream and an examination of culpability in the face of death. Or at least it was - we hear that Tom Cruise was at dress rehearsal last night, and as a result the finished play has got more atomic bombs and volcanoes and evil alien overlords in it. Plus the Katie Holmes character is now locked in something called a 'Thetan Cage' for the entire play. We don't know why that is.
With the economy the way it is, what better way to cheer everyone up than a 61-year-old play about suicide starring Tom Cruise's wife? Last night, that's what the world got - Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller's All My Sons. It's a big career move for her - we'll no longer see Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's wife, but as Tom Cruise's wife who Tom Cruise occasionally lets star in plays so long as she promises to never get more famous than him. All My Sons is, of course, a harsh critique of the American dream and an examination of culpability in the face of death. Or at least it was - we hear that Tom Cruise was at dress rehearsal last night, and as a result the finished play has got more atomic bombs and volcanoes and evil alien overlords in it. Plus the Katie Holmes character is now locked in something called a 'Thetan Cage' for the entire play. We don't know why that is.
Katie Holmes Finally Gets All Those Protests She Was Promised
Anticipation was high for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut last night - it means that Maggie Gyllenhaal will soon take her role and everyone'll like the play better. However, Katie Holmes must have also been fairly excited ahead of her debut in All My Sons - not only would it teach her critics once and for all that she was an actress to contend with, but it'd also give her plenty of chances to blink out 'HELP ME HELP ME HE KEEPS ME LOCKED IN A CAGE HELP ME' in Morse code to a room of understanding strangers every night. But, of course, Katie Holmes' Broadway debut was also exciting for the members of anti-Scientology group Anonymous, who decided to bring down Scientology once and for all by getting about 20 people to stand outside the theatre holding some signs in a sort of semi-apologetic way. Yeah, take that, Scientology.
Anticipation was high for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut last night - it means that Maggie Gyllenhaal will soon take her role and everyone'll like the play better. However, Katie Holmes must have also been fairly excited ahead of her debut in All My Sons - not only would it teach her critics once and for all that she was an actress to contend with, but it'd also give her plenty of chances to blink out 'HELP ME HELP ME HE KEEPS ME LOCKED IN A CAGE HELP ME' in Morse code to a room of understanding strangers every night. But, of course, Katie Holmes' Broadway debut was also exciting for the members of anti-Scientology group Anonymous, who decided to bring down Scientology once and for all by getting about 20 people to stand outside the theatre holding some signs in a sort of semi-apologetic way. Yeah, take that, Scientology.
Tom Cruise Weathers Tropic(al) Thunder to Walk Katie Holmes to Work. Or Something.
It would appear that Katie Holmes didn't manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl. She did manage to escape to the other side of the US 'to be in a Broadway show', as the official story put it - we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of 'I have a job over there' didn't hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes. We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there's just no way around it. She's consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work. Why didn't you run, Katie? Why?
It would appear that Katie Holmes didn't manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl. She did manage to escape to the other side of the US 'to be in a Broadway show', as the official story put it - we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of 'I have a job over there' didn't hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes. We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there's just no way around it. She's consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work. Why didn't you run, Katie? Why?
Katie Holmes Runs Away From Tom Cruise, Maybe…While Screaming…Possibly
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Kevin Federline Kicked Out Of Girly Legally Blonde Musical
These days everything’s coming up roses for ol' K. Federline. He’s successfully divorced himself from a woman who at least temporarily thought she was the devil, he’s recently gained full custody of the children he helped make with fluid that just bursts out of him sometimes, and most importantly he’s no longer obligated to play the role of Elle Woods in the upcoming Legally Blonde musical that he only just got fired from. We think he was an understudy. We don’t really think that. He was going to be in the thing though – in three bit roles. But then he started making all sorts of lengthy demands and the producers just had it, so they told him to stick it where the sun don’t shine in three verses and a gorgeously-rhymed chorus.
These days everything’s coming up roses for ol' K. Federline. He’s successfully divorced himself from a woman who at least temporarily thought she was the devil, he’s recently gained full custody of the children he helped make with fluid that just bursts out of him sometimes, and most importantly he’s no longer obligated to play the role of Elle Woods in the upcoming Legally Blonde musical that he only just got fired from. We think he was an understudy. We don’t really think that. He was going to be in the thing though – in three bit roles. But then he started making all sorts of lengthy demands and the producers just had it, so they told him to stick it where the sun don’t shine in three verses and a gorgeously-rhymed chorus.
