9 - Good things to do with lightning – I09

8 - The Cruises and the Beckhams continue their festive turd-off – Popsugar

7 - Some fools decide that the title Tron 2 doesn’t sound enough like the name of a trashy celebrity website. Changes are made accordingly – Cinemablend

6 - A picture of a big bird, anyone? OK – Flickr

5 - The MySpace page of a hecklerspray reader who we accidentally insulted in print yesterday - MySpace

4 - Christmas presents for the man you feel convention-bound to spend a fortune on, even though your hectic work schedule means you never see him enough to know what he actually wants – Esquire

3 - 26 mugshots of 26 prostitutes. 26 different versions of the anti-Piper - Thejebbica

2 - The Simpsons suddenly gets good again, and all at Apple’s expense – Engadget

1 - Britney’s X Factor appearance. deconstructed – Popjustice

You may be wondering why on earth anyone in their right mind would deem Britney Spears an appropriate figure to take on the role of one of America’s all time great femme fatales but, before you get carried away with that thought, just stop to consider a few things:

First of all, Blanche, as all over 50s and film students know, comes from a small town in Mississippi. And where does Britney come from? That’s right; a small town in Mississippi.

Blanche is eventually exposed as an alcoholic, and Britney too has been found out to be dependent on a drug or two .

And, as if that wasn't enough, later on in the story Blanche has a nervous breakdown and is shipped off to a mental hospital.

Not so sure about yourself anymore, are you dear reader? Suddenly it becomes all too apparent why someone might deem the girl suitable.

There is one potent misnomer though, which is that when Blanche looks upon the vicious, working-class, alpha-male that is Stanley Kowalski, she sees nothing but a hideous ‘ape’, and tries but fails to fight off his sexual advances. Whereas Britney…

A source close to the production said of Miss Spears:

"She has poise, timing and real flair. We’d wanted her for Blanche because even though she’s technically too young to play her, who else could embody this fallen southern belle so well? She’s living out the story, so to harness that on stage would be amazing for an audience to see – and cathartic for Britney too."

Maybe you’re right, Mr ‘close source to the production’, but perhaps instead of trying to find therapy in humiliating herself night after night in front of the boos and hisses of the baying-for-her-blood British theatre-going public, she could just have a lie down and a cup of tea?

It’s just a thought.

Read More – Britney Spears Gets Role In Play – Trans World News 

We may see the fast cars, huge mansions and endless parties as something to envy. But at least when us 'civilians' are caught on camera making a fool of ourselves when drunk, we only have to bear the taunts of our friends. Unless, of course, some clever bastard has put the images on Facebook. But that's a whole other story.

You see, it could be worse – you could be a celebrity. Yes, they may lead a life of luxury, but they are only human beings after all. No, really. So if they're caught on camera making a drunken tit of themselves, the whole world has an opinion.

Some publishers will mock, others will be morally outraged, while some, even worse, would just ignore it.And even when you think it's died down, some website or TV programme does one of those annoying top 10s. Bastards!

10. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty

It's a very touching moment as Pete sings to his former girlfriend. Makes you proud to be British. The only surprising thing is he looks quite sober compared to her.

9. Paris Hilton

The other Paris Hilton video.

8. Serge Gainsbourg

Now, we're pretty sure that Serge Gainsbourg has had sex with just about every woman on the planet. The randy French singer has probably had sex with you – you just didn't realise. So, when he decides to try it on with a young Whitney Houston before her slide into hell with Bobby Brown, the results are hilarious. We can only assume he had a few clarets before going on this French chat show, but then again, maybe not.

7. Boris Yeltsin

If only all word leaders acted like the late Russian premier Boris Yeltsin. The planet would be an all-round funnier place to be. George Bush vomiting into Condoleezza Rice's lap at a televised cabinet meeting, Gordon Brown and David Cameron trading blows in the House of Commons. The only problem here was which clip to use, so we used them all.

6. Oliver Reed

Ratings for chat shows must have rocketed whenever it was announced Oliver Reed was going to be on it. You could almost guarantee some sort of car crash TV moment. Once again, this was simply a case of trying to narrow this down to one clip. So we just used them all.

5. Danny DeVito

The View is a morning TV programme and Danny DeVito turns up hammered after a night on the tiles with George Clooney. Very funny.

4. Britney Spears

Compared to recent events, this is really quite tame. But funny, nonetheless. Britney apparently has no idea she is being filmed.

3. Paula Abdul
Blame it in on a cheerleading accident she suffered at 17 or an alien abduction (she really claims this), but don't ever say she was drunk. Check out the wild look in her eyes.

2. Ben Affleck

Forget the fact that Affleck virtually tries to rape this poor Canadian TV presenter, it's his Pepe Le Pew accent that makes this clip. "Zeez breasts are suspiciously firm."


1. David Hasselhoff
The Hoff foolishly asked his daughter to film him the next time he got drunk. She did just that, and somehow the video went worldwide. No words could do this justice.