Articles tagged with: Britney Spears
America Likes Britney Spears Enough To Make Her Number 1
It's good to end your year better than you started it - Britney Spears has, but only because she was cheating. Britney Spears' 2008 is ending with her new album Circus at number one in America - and she's also the first ever SoundScan artist to have four albums sell 500,000 week-one copies. So well done - Britney Spears' year has ended better than it started. But then again she did start it in a mental hospital - Britney could have caught Ebola off a rabid zombie meerkat while falling down a lift shaft and the year would have still been an upswing for her.
It's good to end your year better than you started it - Britney Spears has, but only because she was cheating. Britney Spears' 2008 is ending with her new album Circus at number one in America - and she's also the first ever SoundScan artist to have four albums sell 500,000 week-one copies. So well done - Britney Spears' year has ended better than it started. But then again she did start it in a mental hospital - Britney could have caught Ebola off a rabid zombie meerkat while falling down a lift shaft and the year would have still been an upswing for her.
Kevin Federline Talks! Remember Kevin Federline?
Kevin Federline interviews are rare - transcribing all the hoots and grunts that form his vocabulary can take hours. But that didn't stop People this week. In its new issue, Kevin Federline has decided to open up for the first time about what ended his marriage to Britney Spears. Was it because Britney went barmy? Was it because Kevin Federline is a bloodsucking redneck? Ooh, we're excited! Anyway, it seems like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have patched up their differences - Britney has even made sure she released her big comeback album to coincide with Kevin's weird, parasitic little interview. Heartwarming!
Kevin Federline interviews are rare - transcribing all the hoots and grunts that form his vocabulary can take hours. But that didn't stop People this week. In its new issue, Kevin Federline has decided to open up for the first time about what ended his marriage to Britney Spears. Was it because Britney went barmy? Was it because Kevin Federline is a bloodsucking redneck? Ooh, we're excited! Anyway, it seems like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have patched up their differences - Britney has even made sure she released her big comeback album to coincide with Kevin's weird, parasitic little interview. Heartwarming!
Internet Users Still Morbidly Interested In Britney Spears
What a week for Britney Spears - a new album, an X Factor appearance and an uncomfortably sobby documentary. And now this. For what appears to be the billionth year on the trot, Britney Spears has been named as the most popular Yahoo search term of the year. Well, technically it was a combination of the search terms 'Is Britney Spears dead yet?', 'Has Britney Spears died?' 'Seriously, is Britney Spears dead or not?' and 'Britney Speerz is funy LOL' but none of those scan as well. What's most impressive is that Britney Spears managed to beat Barack Obama to the number one spot, which has to smart given his accomplishments this year. But it's totally his fault - Obama had plenty of chances to put on a pink wig, wander aimlessly through a car park and babble in a British accent in the grip of a full-blown psychiatric meltdown, but instead he chose to become president-elect of America, the big idiot.
What a week for Britney Spears - a new album, an X Factor appearance and an uncomfortably sobby documentary. And now this. For what appears to be the billionth year on the trot, Britney Spears has been named as the most popular Yahoo search term of the year. Well, technically it was a combination of the search terms 'Is Britney Spears dead yet?', 'Has Britney Spears died?' 'Seriously, is Britney Spears dead or not?' and 'Britney Speerz is funy LOL' but none of those scan as well. What's most impressive is that Britney Spears managed to beat Barack Obama to the number one spot, which has to smart given his accomplishments this year. But it's totally his fault - Obama had plenty of chances to put on a pink wig, wander aimlessly through a car park and babble in a British accent in the grip of a full-blown psychiatric meltdown, but instead he chose to become president-elect of America, the big idiot.
Britney Spears Doc: The Nanosecond You Didn’t Already Hear About
The contents of the Britney Spears documentary, Britney: Buy My Record, were perhaps the worst-kept secret in history. To be fair, everyone knew what to expect anyway - 90 minutes of Britney Spears going "Cuh! What happened THERE? Lorks a-lummy, I went proper bananas for a while, didn't I? Oh well, I'm better now. Buy my record" - but that didn't stop all the interesting parts of the documentary creeping out weeks ago. But now that Britney: Have I Told You About My Record has been aired in America, we now know everything that happened in it from start to finish. So what did happen in Britney: You Know What'd Make A Lovely Christmas Present For All Your Loved Ones? My Record? Nothing. It turns out that people weren't leaking the interesting parts of the documentary, just the bits where Britney Spears used actual identifiable words.
The contents of the Britney Spears documentary, Britney: Buy My Record, were perhaps the worst-kept secret in history. To be fair, everyone knew what to expect anyway - 90 minutes of Britney Spears going "Cuh! What happened THERE? Lorks a-lummy, I went proper bananas for a while, didn't I? Oh well, I'm better now. Buy my record" - but that didn't stop all the interesting parts of the documentary creeping out weeks ago. But now that Britney: Have I Told You About My Record has been aired in America, we now know everything that happened in it from start to finish. So what did happen in Britney: You Know What'd Make A Lovely Christmas Present For All Your Loved Ones? My Record? Nothing. It turns out that people weren't leaking the interesting parts of the documentary, just the bits where Britney Spears used actual identifiable words.
Britney Spears’ Children All Swear Like Ruddy Dockers
Judging by that documentary of her crying for an hour, Britney Spears' promotion of Circus hasn't got off to a particularly great start. And that calls for a change of tack. Rather than bleating on about how relentlessly misery-filled her life is all the time, Britney Spears chose her second-biggest promotional tool - an interview with Rolling Stone - to discuss the positive things in her life. Like her infant children, for example, and how they, um, can't stop blurting out inappropriate swearwords all the time. Needless to say, Britney Spears blames all this sudden effing and jeffing on the fact that the kids have been primarily raised by Kevin Federline. But Britney needs to look on the bright side here - at least they're using words to communicate. That's far more sophisticated than the system of hoots, grunts, roars and crude caveman gestures that Kevin Federline uses himself.
Judging by that documentary of her crying for an hour, Britney Spears' promotion of Circus hasn't got off to a particularly great start. And that calls for a change of tack. Rather than bleating on about how relentlessly misery-filled her life is all the time, Britney Spears chose her second-biggest promotional tool - an interview with Rolling Stone - to discuss the positive things in her life. Like her infant children, for example, and how they, um, can't stop blurting out inappropriate swearwords all the time. Needless to say, Britney Spears blames all this sudden effing and jeffing on the fact that the kids have been primarily raised by Kevin Federline. But Britney needs to look on the bright side here - at least they're using words to communicate. That's far more sophisticated than the system of hoots, grunts, roars and crude caveman gestures that Kevin Federline uses himself.
Listen To Circus By Britney Spears Now, If You Really Must
Circus by Britney Spears is easily one of the top five most-anticipated squelchpop albums released by a psychiatric patient this year. But so far there's been so much kerfuffle about everything surrounding Circus - like the documentaries, the artwork, the tracklisting, the likelihood of Britney Spears going berserk and smearing her genitals up and down a shop window a day after its release - that nobody really knows what Circus by Britney Spears actually sounds like. Well, we do. And it seems like the classic Britney Spears sound is back - you know, sort of generic and forgettable and not very good. How do we know this? Because all of Circus by Britney Spears is available on the internet. Where on the internet? Why, right after the jump if you close your eyes and believe enough.
Circus by Britney Spears is easily one of the top five most-anticipated squelchpop albums released by a psychiatric patient this year. But so far there's been so much kerfuffle about everything surrounding Circus - like the documentaries, the artwork, the tracklisting, the likelihood of Britney Spears going berserk and smearing her genitals up and down a shop window a day after its release - that nobody really knows what Circus by Britney Spears actually sounds like. Well, we do. And it seems like the classic Britney Spears sound is back - you know, sort of generic and forgettable and not very good. How do we know this? Because all of Circus by Britney Spears is available on the internet. Where on the internet? Why, right after the jump if you close your eyes and believe enough.
Britney Spears Doc: Now With More Rhyming Self-Disparagement
You probably haven't heard about the new Britney Spears documentary yet, because it's only been everywhere all the time forever. In fact it's fair to say that so much of the Britney Spears documentary has now been leaked that the only new footage that'll come as a surprise to anyone watching the whole thing next week is a three-second snippet of Britney Spears gazing into the middle distance and wistfully humming the theme-tune to Animal Hospital. For instance, People magazine has now seen an exclusive preview of Britney: For The Record, and the most exciting bit left to review seems to be when Britney Spears starts crying and says of her life "It's bad. I'm sad." Bad? Sad? That's the most eloquent you can be, Britney? Disappointing. We just expected something more profound from the poet behind "Womanizer womanizer/ You're a womanizer/ Oh/ Womanizer/ Oh."
You probably haven't heard about the new Britney Spears documentary yet, because it's only been everywhere all the time forever. In fact it's fair to say that so much of the Britney Spears documentary has now been leaked that the only new footage that'll come as a surprise to anyone watching the whole thing next week is a three-second snippet of Britney Spears gazing into the middle distance and wistfully humming the theme-tune to Animal Hospital. For instance, People magazine has now seen an exclusive preview of Britney: For The Record, and the most exciting bit left to review seems to be when Britney Spears starts crying and says of her life "It's bad. I'm sad." Bad? Sad? That's the most eloquent you can be, Britney? Disappointing. We just expected something more profound from the poet behind "Womanizer womanizer/ You're a womanizer/ Oh/ Womanizer/ Oh."
Britney Spears Will Pretty Much Never Be Happy Again
So Britney Spears, you're a number one singer, you can see your children more often and your hair's grown back - are you happy? No. No, obviously Britney Spears isn't happy. In fact, judging by the slivers that have been leaked out about next month's Britney Spears documentary Britney: For The Record, the poor girl seems sadder than ever. In the documentary, you see, Britney Spears compares her entire life to a prison sentence. That's not so bad, really - at least in prison you get three square meals a day, a bed to sleep on and as many violent bummings as a girl could wish for - but Britney Spears goes one step further than that. In fact, Britney Spears says her life is like Groundhog Day. And since that means it'll culminate in a romantic encounter with Andie MacDowell, it's clearly far far worse than any of us could possible imagine.
So Britney Spears, you're a number one singer, you can see your children more often and your hair's grown back - are you happy? No. No, obviously Britney Spears isn't happy. In fact, judging by the slivers that have been leaked out about next month's Britney Spears documentary Britney: For The Record, the poor girl seems sadder than ever. In the documentary, you see, Britney Spears compares her entire life to a prison sentence. That's not so bad, really - at least in prison you get three square meals a day, a bed to sleep on and as many violent bummings as a girl could wish for - but Britney Spears goes one step further than that. In fact, Britney Spears says her life is like Groundhog Day. And since that means it'll culminate in a romantic encounter with Andie MacDowell, it's clearly far far worse than any of us could possible imagine.
