Articles tagged with: Britney Spears
Britney Spears Sued By Her Rubbish-Bearded Former Manager
There's no bond stronger than that between a deranged singer and the man who mashes drugs into her food. And that's why Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi were so special together. Sam was always there for Britney with whatever she needed - pink wigs, empty knicker draws, some anti-psychotic drugs mashed into a pork chop - but things have gone sour. Sam Lutfi has sued Britney Spears for defamation - a warning that people can't just slander him without consequence. However, we've checked it out and we think we can still call Sam Lutfi a 'crappy-bearded bellend' without any trouble. So that's good.
There's no bond stronger than that between a deranged singer and the man who mashes drugs into her food. And that's why Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi were so special together. Sam was always there for Britney with whatever she needed - pink wigs, empty knicker draws, some anti-psychotic drugs mashed into a pork chop - but things have gone sour. Sam Lutfi has sued Britney Spears for defamation - a warning that people can't just slander him without consequence. However, we've checked it out and we think we can still call Sam Lutfi a 'crappy-bearded bellend' without any trouble. So that's good.
Britney Spears Goes On Tour With Her Kids, Those Lucky Kids
The most important thing to Britney Spears is her kids. Well, her kids and her vagina. And wheat-based snacks. But mainly her kids. And that's why Britney Spears is making sure that her kids go on tour with her next month. According to reports, Britney Spears threatened to quit the tour unless her children accompanied her, because she loves them. At least that's the story. At least this way Britney Spears can demand three packets of nappies and a bucket of mushed-up food on her tour rider each night and everyone will think it's for the kids. Sneaky, Britney. Sneaky.
The most important thing to Britney Spears is her kids. Well, her kids and her vagina. And wheat-based snacks. But mainly her kids. And that's why Britney Spears is making sure that her kids go on tour with her next month. According to reports, Britney Spears threatened to quit the tour unless her children accompanied her, because she loves them. At least that's the story. At least this way Britney Spears can demand three packets of nappies and a bucket of mushed-up food on her tour rider each night and everyone will think it's for the kids. Sneaky, Britney. Sneaky.
Uptight Ninnies Hate Britney Spears’ Naughty Song-Language
Since it's been about 18 seconds since Britney Spears last got into trouble, we're well overdue a new outrage. And, God bless Britney, that's what we've got. The new Britney Spears single is called If U Seek Amy - which, when said quickly, sounds a bit like 'F-U-C-K me'. And parental groups have reacted furiously to this. Not because of the bad language, you understand, but because of the inaccuracy. Nobody wants to F-U-C-K Britney Spears any more, do they? They want to vomit and run off because her scary red eyes are freaking them out. And she shouldn't lie to kids.
Since it's been about 18 seconds since Britney Spears last got into trouble, we're well overdue a new outrage. And, God bless Britney, that's what we've got. The new Britney Spears single is called If U Seek Amy - which, when said quickly, sounds a bit like 'F-U-C-K me'. And parental groups have reacted furiously to this. Not because of the bad language, you understand, but because of the inaccuracy. Nobody wants to F-U-C-K Britney Spears any more, do they? They want to vomit and run off because her scary red eyes are freaking them out. And she shouldn't lie to kids.
Britney Spears To Autobiographically Stretch Her Life Over 3 – 5 Thin Books
What we like most about the new administration doesn't have to do with change, but that our 20-year-old petition for a Lando Calrissian Star Wars spin-off may finally get some White House backing. Seriously, our script has been yellowing in our closet. Lucas doesn't know a good thing when he sees it - he must be racist. Why else would he refuse our package at the door? Over 100 times? Speaking of overly long hand-crafted literature that nobody except George Lucas should have to read - Britney Spears has just agreed to write her autobiography. Sorry, up to five autobiographies.
What we like most about the new administration doesn't have to do with change, but that our 20-year-old petition for a Lando Calrissian Star Wars spin-off may finally get some White House backing. Seriously, our script has been yellowing in our closet. Lucas doesn't know a good thing when he sees it - he must be racist. Why else would he refuse our package at the door? Over 100 times? Speaking of overly long hand-crafted literature that nobody except George Lucas should have to read - Britney Spears has just agreed to write her autobiography. Sorry, up to five autobiographies.
Britney Spears Moves House. Look Interested
We've got some good news and some bad news for you. The bad news is that this is the dullest Britney Spears story in the world. Britney Spears is moving house. That's roughly it. She lived somewhere, soon she'll be living somewhere else and that's it. On a Twitter post, Britney Spears claimed that she'd shown her kids around the new house and they apparently love it. This is the bad news. The good news is that Britney Spears decided to sell her old home at the height of this economic crisis. We assume that means Britney Spears is still slightly mental. Win.
We've got some good news and some bad news for you. The bad news is that this is the dullest Britney Spears story in the world. Britney Spears is moving house. That's roughly it. She lived somewhere, soon she'll be living somewhere else and that's it. On a Twitter post, Britney Spears claimed that she'd shown her kids around the new house and they apparently love it. This is the bad news. The good news is that Britney Spears decided to sell her old home at the height of this economic crisis. We assume that means Britney Spears is still slightly mental. Win.
WEBTHUMP! Wednesday 7 January 2009
10 - Not so much Badvertising as Bewildertising. Does this exist? 9 - Anyone want to know what Kelly Clarkson looks like now that she's decided she wants to be famous again? - Popjustice 8 - We don't know what's the worst thing about this, the fact it happened or the unsettling sensation that it's ...
Britney Spears’ Dad Gets More Money To Look After His Own Child
As Britney Spears' conservator, Jamie Spears spends most of his days saying "No Britney, don't lick the plug socket," and performing on-the-spot knicker checks. And how much is that worth? What? You think that Jamie Spears should be doing that for free because, as one of the parents who pushed Britney Spears into showbusiness at the expense of a normal childhood, he's directly responsible for her recent psychiatric problems? Don't be daft. Jamie Spears thinks that looking after Britney Spears is worth $16,000 a month - or $75 an hour. Wow, what we'd give for a mentally ill millionaire daughter! Jamie sure is one lucky guy!
As Britney Spears' conservator, Jamie Spears spends most of his days saying "No Britney, don't lick the plug socket," and performing on-the-spot knicker checks. And how much is that worth? What? You think that Jamie Spears should be doing that for free because, as one of the parents who pushed Britney Spears into showbusiness at the expense of a normal childhood, he's directly responsible for her recent psychiatric problems? Don't be daft. Jamie Spears thinks that looking after Britney Spears is worth $16,000 a month - or $75 an hour. Wow, what we'd give for a mentally ill millionaire daughter! Jamie sure is one lucky guy!
WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 16 December 2008
10 - Two seconds after the film ended, she threw the boy into the tree and wiped her genitals on the wall (she didn't)... 9 - Note to self: write these down. It's a matter of time, kid - Holytaco 8 - How to smuggle. If you are an idiot - Cracked 7 - ...
