Posts tagged as:

Britney Spears

Dr Phil Ditches That Whole Britney Spears Episode Idea

by Stuart Heritage

This morning we woke up in an unusually delicious mood knowing that, by bedtime, Dr Phil would have single-handedly solved all of Britney Spears' crazy problems on his downhome self-help TV show. It was an exciting thought – that maybe by the time we tucked ourselves up in our one big communal hecklerspray bed (head-to-toe, [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears’ Meltdown: Don’t Worry, Dr Phil’s On It

by Stuart Heritage

Now that she’s at her lowest-ever ebb, it seems obvious that what Britney Spears needs is some homespun, slightly sensationalist advice given by a TV presenter who looks like a shaved bear.

So with that in mind, thank Christ that Dr Phil has taken it upon himself to personally wade in and resolve to fix Britney Spears’ broken mind forever. According reports, Dr Phil managed to accompany Britney Spears home after her weird little episode on Thursday evening that ended up with her being wheeled to hospital in a stretcher for psychological tests. And Dr Phil is so hell-bent on sorting out Britney Spears’ life that he’s even going to do a TV show all about it tomorrow. And quite right too, because if anything’s going to set Britney onto the straight and narrow it’s the sight of a chubby bald man pointing at a photo of her and shouting “Let’s do it! Get real!” 350 times on the trot on daytime TV.

Now that she's at her lowest-ever ebb, it seems obvious that what Britney Spears needs is some homespun, slightly sensationalist advice given by a TV presenter who looks like a shaved bear. So with that in mind, thank Christ that Dr Phil has taken it upon himself to personally wade in and resolve to fix Britney Spears' broken mind forever. According reports, Dr Phil managed to accompany Britney Spears home after her weird little episode on Thursday evening that ended up with her being wheeled to hospital in a stretcher for psychological tests. And Dr Phil is so hell-bent on sorting out Britney Spears' life that he's even going to do a TV show all about it tomorrow. And quite right too, because if anything's going to set Britney onto the straight and narrow it's the sight of a chubby bald man pointing at a photo of her and shouting "Let's do it! Get real!" 350 times on the trot on daytime TV.
4 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears Gets Her Brain Tested

by Stuart Heritage

It’s been a few hours since Britney Spears was wheeled out of her house on a stretcher, possibly on drugs, after a dispute with Kevin Federline over custody of their children.

So what more do we know now? Well, the main news is that Britney Spears has gone to hospital for tests. Not maths or spelling tests – it’s far too early to put a strain like that on someone as fragile as Britney Spears – but psychological tests. After a run of weird behaviour that’s lasted long over a year, doctors will soon check Britney Spears’ system for drugs and alcohol and then begin to assess her mentally to see if she’s a danger to herself, her kids or anyone else around her. This process might take anything up to three days, which means by Monday morning we’ll know if Britney Spears is a heartbreaking sufferer of a mental illness of just a bit of an overdramatic numpty.

It's been a few hours since Britney Spears was wheeled out of her house on a stretcher, possibly on drugs, after a dispute with Kevin Federline over custody of their children. So what more do we know now? Well, the main news is that Britney Spears has gone to hospital for tests. Not maths or spelling tests - it's far too early to put a strain like that on someone as fragile as Britney Spears - but psychological tests. After a run of weird behaviour that's lasted long over a year, doctors will soon check Britney Spears' system for drugs and alcohol and then begin to assess her mentally to see if she's a danger to herself, her kids or anyone else around her. This process might take anything up to three days, which means by Monday morning we'll know if Britney Spears is a heartbreaking sufferer of a mental illness of just a bit of an overdramatic numpty.
3 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears In Hospital After K-Fed Custody Row

by Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears has been taken to hospital on a stretcher following a fight between Britney and Kevin Federline.

Details are a little vague at the moment, but it seems as though police were called to the home of Britney Spears a few hours ago because she was refusing to hand her children over to Kevin Federline at the time appointed by their custody case and a dispute had broken out.

Not that it was just the police that turned up, though – in total it’s reported that six police cars, some ambulances, fire tucks and a police helicopter also showed up too. Just as well, because Britney Spears was apparently found to be under the influence of an unknown substance. As such, paramedics have recently removed Britney Spears from her home conscious on a stretcher and taken her to a nearby hospital for ‘medical evaluation’ while Kevin Federline looks after the children.

It all sounds worryingly serious, and the last thing that Britney needs now that her lawyer has just quit, but don’t panic too much – it’s claimed that Britney Spears still managed to flip off the paparazzi from her stretcher, which we’re taking as her way of telling us that she’ll be just fine.

We’ll no doubt have more on this when things firm up.

Read more:

Britney Spears Wheeled Out Of House After Refusing To Turn Over Kids: Reports – MTV

Britney Spears has been taken to hospital on a stretcher following a fight between Britney and Kevin Federline. Details are a little vague at the moment, but it seems as though police were called to the home of Britney Spears a few hours ago because she was refusing to hand her children over to Kevin Federline at the time appointed by their custody case and a dispute had broken out. Not that it was just the police that turned up, though - in total it's reported that six police cars, some ambulances, fire tucks and a police helicopter also showed up too. Just as well, because Britney Spears was apparently found to be under the influence of an unknown substance. As such, paramedics have recently removed Britney Spears from her home conscious on a stretcher and taken her to a nearby hospital for 'medical evaluation' while Kevin Federline looks after the children. It all sounds worryingly serious, and the last thing that Britney needs now that her lawyer has just quit, but don't panic too much - it's claimed that Britney Spears still managed to flip off the paparazzi from her stretcher, which we're taking as her way of telling us that she'll be just fine. We'll no doubt have more on this when things firm up. Read more: Britney Spears Wheeled Out Of House After Refusing To Turn Over Kids: Reports - MTV
2 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears’ Lawyer Buggers Off

by Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears would be the dream client for most lawyers – dumb enough to keep getting into trouble and rich enough to be able to pay for it – but not Sorrell Trope, which is a shame because he happens to be Britney Spears’ lawyer.

Or he was. Or he is but won’t be soon. Sorrell Trope has asked to quit the Britney Spears custody case citing a ‘breakdown in communications’ between the law firm and the singer. Although that’s as far as the explanation goes, it’s thought that the reason for Sorrell Trope’s resignation is either a) that he’s exasperated because Britney Spears keeps missing court-appointed deposition meetings, b) that he’s as bored of this Britney Spears custody nonsense as the rest of us or c) that he’s tired of having to constantly explain what a deposition actually is to Britney Spears. And what custody is. And what children are. And how pens work.

Britney Spears would be the dream client for most lawyers - dumb enough to keep getting into trouble and rich enough to be able to pay for it - but not Sorrell Trope, which is a shame because he happens to be Britney Spears' lawyer. Or he was. Or he is but won't be soon. Sorrell Trope has asked to quit the Britney Spears custody case citing a 'breakdown in communications' between the law firm and the singer. Although that's as far as the explanation goes, it's thought that the reason for Sorrell Trope's resignation is either a) that he's exasperated because Britney Spears keeps missing court-appointed deposition meetings, b) that he's as bored of this Britney Spears custody nonsense as the rest of us or c) that he's tired of having to constantly explain what a deposition actually is to Britney Spears. And what custody is. And what children are. And how pens work.
0 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears Wants To Check Her Kids For Drugs

by Stuart Heritage

Thought that Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister getting knocked up was as bad as it got for the family? Not even close – Britney Spears now apparently thinks her two baby sons have been taking drugs.

Well, sort of – Britney Spears has decided to turn on the attack in her child custody battle with Kevin Federline by apparently claiming that he smokes pot in front of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that as a result they’re breathing in all his second-hand drug-smoke. It’s thought that Britney Spears was alerted to this possibility by the way that her kids sitting around staring into space and giggling all day. However this might not mean that the Federline-Spears kids are stoned – it might just mean that they’re either a) children or b) genetically very stupid. Really, the truth is that it could be any of these things.

Thought that Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister getting knocked up was as bad as it got for the family? Not even close - Britney Spears now apparently thinks her two baby sons have been taking drugs. Well, sort of - Britney Spears has decided to turn on the attack in her child custody battle with Kevin Federline by apparently claiming that he smokes pot in front of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that as a result they're breathing in all his second-hand drug-smoke. It's thought that Britney Spears was alerted to this possibility by the way that her kids sitting around staring into space and giggling all day. However this might not mean that the Federline-Spears kids are stoned - it might just mean that they're either a) children or b) genetically very stupid. Really, the truth is that it could be any of these things.
1 comment Read more >>>

Britney Spears’ Sister Totally Pregnant At 16

by Stuart Heritage

You have to hand it to Jamie Lynn Spears – not many 16-year-old girls would try and take the heat off their messed-up older sisters by getting themselves pregnant at a ridiculously young age.

But that’s just the kind of socially-conscientious girl Jamie Lynn Spears is. Now that her older sister Britney Spears is being heralded by many as the world’s most famous bad mother, Jamie Lynn wants to have a go, too – so she’s announced to the world via OK! magazine that she’s 12 weeks pregnant with a baby fathered by her long-term boyfriend Casey Aldridge. News of Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy might seem like the Spears family has now reached critical mass when it comes to sexual irresponsibility, but you haven’t seen anything yet – the cover of next week’s Us Weekly consists of a close-up photo of baby Sean Preston’s face alongside the quote “Dude! I Totally Knocked Up 15 Thai Sluts Last Week!”

You have to hand it to Jamie Lynn Spears - not many 16-year-old girls would try and take the heat off their messed-up older sisters by getting themselves pregnant at a ridiculously young age. But that's just the kind of socially-conscientious girl Jamie Lynn Spears is. Now that her older sister Britney Spears is being heralded by many as the world's most famous bad mother, Jamie Lynn wants to have a go, too - so she's announced to the world via OK! magazine that she's 12 weeks pregnant with a baby fathered by her long-term boyfriend Casey Aldridge. News of Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy might seem like the Spears family has now reached critical mass when it comes to sexual irresponsibility, but you haven't seen anything yet - the cover of next week's Us Weekly consists of a close-up photo of baby Sean Preston's face alongside the quote "Dude! I Totally Knocked Up 15 Thai Sluts Last Week!"
14 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears Now Too Ill To Tell The Truth

by Stuart Heritage

The most important part of the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline Custody Bitchfight To The Death was due to take place yesterday, as Britney was going to submit to questioning under oath by Federline’s lawyers.

However, the world will have to wait to hear Britney’s version of the truth about her parenting skills. Britney Spears failed to show up to the deposition yesterday, citing an illness. It’s a proper illness too, because Britney has a doctor’s letter and everything. Britney’s no-show has angered Kevin Federline’s lawyers, who have rescheduled the deposition and are also seeking court sanctions against Britney Spears, like forcing her to do the deposition in her pants next time if she doesn’t bring the right kit.

Or taking her children away from her forever. Or something.

1 comment Read more >>>

Britney Spears: Criminal Mastermind

by Stuart Heritage

Robin Hood, Ned Kelly, Ronnie Biggs, Dick Turpin, Bonnie and Clyde – arch troublemaker Britney Spears has made sure that your boys took one hell of a beating.

Britney Spears is hot water with the owner of California petrol station after she appeared to indulge in a little bit of casual shoplifting on Friday. Her crime? Taking a blue plastic $1.39 lighter without paying for it. And Britney Spears has even admitted the crime, telling the obligatory gang of following photographers “I stole something. Oh, I’m bad!” But don’t think this is the first time that Britney Spears has broken the law – she already has a very serious criminal record. It’s called I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman. I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman! Thank you, thank you, we’re here all week. Don’t forget to try the veal.

0 comments Read more >>>

Britney Spears Blackmailing Paris Hilton?

by Shawn Lindseth

Well its always been a matter of time. Britney Spears has pictures of Paris Hilton without her fake eye, and is demanding Hilton be her full-term surrogate mother before those photos are destroyed. Paris Hilton’s gaping socket is said to be greasy, black and chock full of dead-end veins. Britney Spears is said to have [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →