A former bodyguard of Britney Spears, the most recent to expose her crazy, Fernando Flores, is a threat to the singer’s integrity and is trying to shake her down for an out of court settlement. According to the singer’s delusional team of minders.

It has been known for a while that Britney is not the most stable person to be around. And that’s completely ignoring the crotch-flashing and the head-shaving. Those are to the left of the point. We’re talking about stories from her own team about the erratic behaviours on display inside her own home.

For a better part of the time following her breakdown, there have been stories from her ex-minders. Stories that involved alleged drug use and sexual acting out. Then there were allegations she had neglected her children; she lost custody for a while, and then had supervised visitation, before settling where she is now.

The sexually inappropriate behaviours are some of the most disturbing. Mainly because they involve everyone on her payroll with a penis, and Britney being naked, and doing things like bending over in front of them.

Yes, really.

That wasn’t even the worst of it (allegedly luring Fernando into her Cheeto Chamber of Doom where he found her pleasuring herself… what in the heck?)

It’s that kind of behaviour that led to stories in the papers a few weeks back. The same that have landed Britney in court.

In civil court, if Fernando gets his way. Where the information revealed would become public. Britney’s team is asking for the case to be held in a more private probate court.

In a move we’re finding headache-inducingly contrived, Britney’s people are trying to make it appear as though they’re worried about Fernando essentially blackmailing her. Saying Fernando could use the threat of a public forum to extort a settlement claim.

From TMZ:

The people in charge of Britney Spears are asking a judge to protect her from a potential ‘shake down’ by a former bodyguard who they believe could release info that may put Britney in danger. It all has to do with a lawsuit filed by Fernando Flores, a former bodyguard who claims the pop star sexually harassed him by, among other things, walking around her home in the nude. Flores wants the case tried in civil court — but Britney’s conservators are concerned that Flores will use the public forum to release private information to extort a settlement out of Britney.

That’s less of a convincing argument, than her team not wanting further claims and any hard evidence revealed. Doing the already shaky singer more damage.

In new legal docs filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Team Britney begs the judge to move the case to a probate court, where all of the accusations could be kept from the public… and protect her from a ‘shake down.’ The conservators also believe, ‘There is a real possibility that Ms. Spears will be exposed to danger by the release of confidential and personal information.’ A hearing on the matter is scheduled for the end of the month.

Yeah. We’re going with the latter argument on this one. The legal documents, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, seem too self-serving to be about money alone. It strikes us, this is more about Britney not making an ass of herself again. Heaven forbid.

This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so hooray for that.

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A guest blog by the wonderful Amy Grindhouse…

Britney Spears is in trouble with her daddy again. Which one would think is unimaginably hard to do since at this moment in time all Britney is free to do of her own accord is poop and jiggle her rump on stage.

Dungeon Master Spears is having to waste away more precious moments of his life that he’ll never get back on reprimanding his daughter.

This time Britney has broken one of the many restrictions placed on her by reaching out to two people with whom she is not supposed to have any contact; Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib.

One could gather from the current Spears family situation that the entire barefoot, grilled-cheese sandwich-eating clan are actually living above their local courthouse and perhaps even that they find some kind of strange joy from partaking in court proceedings.

Sadly, the Spears family do not live above a courthouse, but they should. The entire family have spent so much time in court lately you would think officials were handing out free cheese grits to the first five hillbillies to enter each morning.

In this latest farce in the neverending legal battle between Britney and, um, everybody, Jamie Spears has had to take his daughter to task over some sneaky late night phonecalls to her former manager Sam and ex-boyfriend Adnan (hilariously, most forget which was which as they were both generally referred to as “the annoying lump cleverly simultaneously standing next to and sucking the life out of an over-caffeinated Britney Spears”).

In her latest attempt to throw a spanner in the works and sabotage the efforts of the one person who seems genuinely to be trying to help her, Britney has allegedly called her former manager and her old lover on the sly. Much in the manner of a wayward tweenager who has been grounded from going out and is secretly Tweeting and Facebooking their mates every five minutes and chuckling to themselves about how clever they are.

According to TMZ:

There’s a hearing underway in the Britney Spears restraining order case against Sam Lutfi Adnan Ghalib. Daddy Jamie Spears is on the stand right now, explaining that Britney somehow got her hands on a pre-paid cell phone which caused him fits because they have been strictly monitoring the phones she’s able to use.

A naughty daughter out of control, making calls to her troublesome crew is nothing new. However, the woman in question is a wise old 27-years-old. Yes, she is 27 and still pulling crap like this.

TMZ also says that Britney was ratted out by her children’s nanny, which may or may not mean the nanny is actually a robot with cameras for eyes or some kind of stealth spy planted by the FBI (I’m thinking probably not):

The nanny heard Britney talking to Sam and Adnan on the pre-paid phone in the wee hours of the morning one day. It appears Jamie believes Sam and Adnan got her the phone in an attempt to poison her against Jamie and to torpedo the conservatorship.

If Sam did have any contact with Britney, he would have violated a court order to stay the hell away from her. Jamie is trying to make the temporary restraining order against the dynamic duo permanent.

What else is there to say but… this is a woman who makes it bloody hard to help her!

This has been a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse. Go and pay her site a visit now. Do it. Now. Go.

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