Britney Spears Concert - HecklerSpray

Man Arrested For Still Liking Britney Spears

May 5th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Why do people go to Britney Spears concerts? Surely there are only two reasons. One, obviously, is to escape the rain.

Or maybe it’s because they actually like Britney Spears. It’s confusing – even Britney Spears seems a little repulsed by the idea that some people aren’t utterly terrified of her, which is why she had a man arrested on Sunday for getting up on stage with her.

Fair’s fair, though – by being onstage the fan technically became a back-up dancer and would have therefore been contractually obliged to get Britney Spears pregnant. If anything, she was saving him some bother.

Britney Spears Wants You To Know About Her Genitals. For Once

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

In the past, when people have said that Britney Spears is back, it was always a little bit meek and halfhearted.

But now Britney Spears is BACK! Because, fair enough, some people might think Britney Spears is a best-selling pop megastar, and the release of her recent album does reflect a kind of resurrection in that respect.

The rest of us, though, know Britney Spears as the woman with a startling obsession with her own vagina. And on Sunday in Tampa, Britney Spears ended a concert by shrieking “My pussy is hanging out!” It’s wonderful to have you back, Britney.

Britney Spears Does Concert, Stays Sane, People Surprised

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The phrase ‘Britney’s back’ terrifies us – usually because it’s followed by ‘Britney’s bald head’ and ‘Britney’s clodge’.

But this time Britney really is back. Yesterday, Britney Spears kicked off her 32-date comeback tour – almost certainly the most exhausting thing she’s done recently, excluding any activities involving umbrellas, cars or uncontrollable roadside weeping.

And guess what? Britney Spears’ first concert was a success. We know this because the people who consider themselves rabid enough Britney Spears fans to justify spending hundreds of dollars to watch a past-her-prime singer jiggle around in a number of impractical and ill-fitting costumes said it was.

Nobody Cares About Britney Spears’ Big Comeback

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Tomorrow Britney Spears sets off on her first tour since she went bananas and waved her ladyparts around.

But there’s just one problem. And that’s that, in these times of economic uncertainty, not too many people want to spend hundreds of dollars to sit in a giant room watching a mentally-uncertain pinprick listlessly screech her way through I’m Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman while dressed as a pikey on a hen night.

That’s exactly why people aren’t coming to our one-man show Hecklerspray Wishes It Had Ovaries, and it’s also why Britney Spears isn’t selling many concert tickets.