Oh Britney Spears, you were doing so well – screaming about your vagina during a concert was a masterstroke.

But now this? This is disgusting. You knew the pattern as well as anyone, Britney Spears – first you scream about your minge, then you run off and get knocked up by the first scummy-looking waster to cross your path even though he looks like he’s probably got public lice.

That’s the natural order of things, Britney Spears. You certainly don’t get a 37-year-old boyfriend who probably wears a suit for a living. So what have you done? Exactly that very thing. Ugh.