We look to our pop stars for bad behaviour because… well… in some cases, it’s all they have. We certainly don’t want to listen to all that stupid music they release. Music costs money and investment of time. Hearing that famous people have been dicks is free.

Especially badly behaved are rappers. God we love rappers. They have guns and drugs in their big cars. Some of them even get shot dead like Tupac.

However, stupid Dizzee Rascal is rather well-behaved. So well behaved that, when he was thrown off a British Airways flight, the passengers stuck up for him.

Dizzee, probably wishing he opened a who silo of whoop-ass on the BA staff, was accused of kicking off when he discovered his flight was delayed.

Rascal (his real name) and his fellow passengers were sat on a the plane and left waiting for more than an hour on the runway. Dizzee was supposed to be at a festival in Portugal. He didn’t make it.

Someone called John Godsland, stuck up for the rapper as well as dramatically adding that he will never fly BA again, told the Standard:

“We had been on the plane for about an hour, Dizzee had been asleep, and he woke up and there was a female member of cabin crew walking past and he said to her something along the lines of, ‘What’s going on? What are we still doing here? What’s happening?’”

Then, the passenger added that the flight attendant started “wagging her finger at him” before getting the captain to throw him off the flight into the waiting arms of the law.

Another passenger, this one called Gillian Beeby, tweeted:

“On a flight to Portugal and disgusted by BA’s treatment of a person who got thrown off due to a member of staff being rude. BA has just thrown Dizzee Rascal off flight to Portugal – appalling behaviour by BA staff who inflamed situation!”

There you have it. Airline workers can have rappers in a fight.

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So you've just pleaded guilty to kicking and spitting at police officers on a plane because some of your luggage went missing – what do you do now?

Well, logic and common sense dictates that it might be wise to quietly accept your punishment while simultaneously attempting to stem the white hot temper that flares up like clockwork every few months and makes you look like a prize dicksplat in front of the entire world.

Or, if you're Naomi Campbell, you find the nearest camera crew and start blathering on furiously about how you only got angry because someone on the plane called you a 'golliwog supermodel' even though you didn't actually mention anything about that during the trial. Deep down, they're both the same.

Anyone who's ever been on a plane has wanted to lash out at some point or another, whether it's at the sleeping lady who's drooling on your shoulder or the morbidly obese chap in front of you who's decided to recline his seat straight onto your knees without asking first. And, hey, who hasn't wanted to flush a crying baby down an aeroplane toilet simply because it was spoiling your enjoyment of National Treasure 2? That's all perfectly normal human behaviour.

But when you kick and spit at police officers because some of your luggage has gone missing, well that's just utterly unacceptable. Even Naomi Campbell knows that – which is good, because admittedly she does tend to do it more than most.

Last week Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to assaulting police officers after her weird little kicky tantrum on a plane in April. At the time most people wrote the outburst off as just another one of Naomi Campbell's awkward argumentative flare-ups – after all, you can count the number of people who Naomi Campbell hasn't beaten up on the fingers of the hand that Naomi Campbell slammed in a car door because she caught you looking at her without asking – but now there's been a dramatic new revelation. Well, dramatic or made up – it's quite hard to tell.

Apparently Naomi Campbell only spazzed out so badly because someone on the plane used a weirdly outdated racial slur towards her. Apparently. The Telegraph reports:

Campbell, who kicked and spat at police when they tried to remove her from a flight bound for Los Angeles, told Sky News: "I was called a racial name on that flight and that was part of my reaction. I was called a 'golliwog supermodel' – I don't think that's really fair, do you?" The airline has denied the claim. "British Airways does not accept any allegations of racism," it said in a statement. "We are proud of our diversity."

Oddly enough, Naomi Campbell didn't think to mention this alleged racial incident at any point during her criminal trial, only deciding to tell Sky News about it after she'd pleaded guilty to her charges. Which is strange, given that it seems like quite an important part of the story. It almost seems as if Naomi Campbell just made it up to try and make herself look less of a deranged batshit mentalist than she actually is.

We wouldn't dream of suggesting that, though – not because we respect the validity of Naomi Campbell's claims or anything, but because we're terrified that Naomi Campbell will come round our house one night and smash our faces in with a candelabra or set fire to our dog or something. Not our faces, Naomi. Not our beautiful faces.

It was just a month or two ago when Naomi Campbell caused a stink on a British Airways flight.

At the time she claimed to be the victim of racism or something, and also she claimed that it wasn't her fault because the captain wouldn't let her sit in his posh seat for the flight's entire duration, and anybody else would have reacted similarly if placed in the same situation.

But maybe we exaggerated a tad there. Anyhow – she's in court for the whole mess right now – and she's pleaded…..guilty.

This action could result in regular state-provided dinners and a cellmate to scratch at.

Naomi Campbell has been to court at least a thousand times. In fact it could even be argued that she's such a common fixture there that is she showed up with a long black robe and a gavel, a bailiff might mistakenly escort her up to the judge's throne.

If memory serves correctly her last court appearance ended with her having to clean things with a mop. If memory serves even more correctly, when her hours were up every single co-worker wept on her neck and gave her a cake.

OK, so our memory isn't always that correct. But Campbell's legal woes continue – she got officially charged for her airport trouble almost a month ago, and today, apparently, she's pleaded guilty. E! Online has the skinny:

"The trouble-prone catwalker pleaded guilty today to assaulting two police officers after causing a stink aboard a BA flight at London's Heathrow Airport in April, charges that could land her serious jail time…when she finally made it inside, she copped to six charges in total—three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and two of using threatening, abusive words or behavior to cabin crew. The guilty plea could nab the runway star a maximum six-month prison sentence and a fine of $10,000."

So will she actually get locked up for her insane temper this time? Her maid that probably still has a blackberry lodged in her left eye socket certainly hopes so. Probably. But we think her imprisonment isn't such a good idea.

Think about it – she's already angry all the time. Imagine if she learned how to fight with a shank.

Now that's an airplane we would not want to be on.

To read more, see "Naomi Campbell pleads guilty in 'air rage' case" on The Associated Press

OK, we take back every single bad thing we ever said about Naomi Campbell – she’s finally convinced us that she’s a genius.

We mean it. Naomi Campbell is a genius. Only a genius could do something as flat-out berserk as what Naomi Campbell’s just done.

Recently Naomi Campbell was banned from flying with British Airways for life for spitting on a policeman in the middle of a violent tantrum about luggage. So, naturally, Naomi Campbell has made a huge point of boycotting British Airways, even though it’s already banned her. Seriously. Indiscriminate violence and a dangerously flawed mental process? We can’t figure out why nobody’s married a catch like that yet.

We’re starting a genuine campaign right now. We want Naomi Campbell to be the new host of Watchdog. We’re not making this up. We have three main reasons for wanting this: 1) Naomi Campbell is a stone cold consumer champion. 2) If any company CEOs tried to give her the runaround, she’d be straight down their offices ready to punch everything to splinters. 3) It’d make Nicky Campbell slightly less employed, which we’re all for.

But really, Naomi Campbell is an honest to goodness consumer champion. Earlier this month, you see, Naomi Campbell suffered a taste of the hellish luggage problems that customers at Heathrow airport’s newly-opened Terminal Five have been experiencing. And because of that – and only that – Naomi Campbell has decided to boycott British Airways forever.

Speaking about her decision to boycott British Airways while in Brazil, golden consumer idol Naomi Campbell said:

“Someone from BA called me and asked that I return to fly with them but this will not occur so early. They didn’t find my bag – said it wasn’t in the system – and there was a complete disrespect for the passengers. You Brazilians went through the same problem last year. The case in Terminal 5 at Heathrow was the same thing and I am not speaking for myself. I am speaking for all those who have been disrespected.”

What a wonderful, wonderful person Naomi Campbell is. She’s boycotting British Airways because it treated the people shoddily, and Naomi Campbell stands up for the people no matter what.

In other completely unrelated news, British Airways is the airline that recently banned Naomi Campbell forever because she attacked a policeman when her luggage went missing.

However, even though she flew into a galactic rage and flobbed up on a copper, Naomi Campbell was merely cautioned for the tantrum. And it seems that British Airways wants to make amends, if Naomi’s stories of pleading phone calls are correct. They are correct aren’t they, The Times?

A BA insider told London’s Evening Standard paper: “We are not aware of any pleading phone calls to Ms Campbell.”

Oh. Well, anyway, good for Naomi Campbell for boycotting British Airways in any case. Someone needs to stand up to these giant faceless corporations, and who better to do so than a alarmingly violent woman who can hardly seem to go more than a couple of days without assaulting someone’s skull off or destroying a boat? Naomi Campbell, we salute you.

By the way, we’re serious about getting Naomi Campbell that Watchdog job. Here’s where you can contact the show to make the case for her employment. Quite frankly we’ve waited too long to see the chairman of British Gas getting his face smashed in by a screaming, froth-mouthed woman holding a telephone.

Read more:

Naomi Campbell boycotts BA in Terminal 5 protest - Times