Articles tagged with: Bristol Palin
Levi Johnston Takes His Top Off For Reasons Not Immediately Clear
Remember Levi Johnston? Of course you do. He's the man who knocked Sarah Palin's teenage daughter up that time. It was hilarious. You remember. Sarah Palin was all like "I want to be vice president because anyone who has sex before marriage should be burnt to death as a prostitute" and Sarah Palin's daughter was all like "Hey, my water just broke" and Levi Johnston was all like "Oops" and Sarah Palin was all like "Why I oughta..." Again, hilarious. Anyway, Levi Johnston is in this month's GQ holding a baby with his top off. Lord alone knows why.
Remember Levi Johnston? Of course you do. He's the man who knocked Sarah Palin's teenage daughter up that time. It was hilarious. You remember. Sarah Palin was all like "I want to be vice president because anyone who has sex before marriage should be burnt to death as a prostitute" and Sarah Palin's daughter was all like "Hey, my water just broke" and Levi Johnston was all like "Oops" and Sarah Palin was all like "Why I oughta..." Again, hilarious. Anyway, Levi Johnston is in this month's GQ holding a baby with his top off. Lord alone knows why.
Bristol Palin & Levi: The Wedding You Don’t Care About Is OFF!
Remember Sarah Palin? Of course you don't - which means you're less likely to remember her daughter Bristol. So here's a brief recap. Sarah Palin was the woman who would have become vice-president of America, if only a) she wasn't colossally stupid, b) her main hobby didn't involved blasting holes in the side of reindeers with a shotgun and c) her teenage daughter Bristol hadn't got knocked up by a redneck at an inopportune moment. And now it's been revealed that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, the father of her illegitimate baby, have split up. Please respond with the appropriate ambivalence.
Remember Sarah Palin? Of course you don't - which means you're less likely to remember her daughter Bristol. So here's a brief recap. Sarah Palin was the woman who would have become vice-president of America, if only a) she wasn't colossally stupid, b) her main hobby didn't involved blasting holes in the side of reindeers with a shotgun and c) her teenage daughter Bristol hadn't got knocked up by a redneck at an inopportune moment. And now it's been revealed that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, the father of her illegitimate baby, have split up. Please respond with the appropriate ambivalence.
Jamie Lynn Spears Sent Sarah Palin’s Kid Nothing, Actually
Heartbreaking news - Sarah Palin's illegitimate grandkid will grow up bereft of overpriced burp cloths with 'Yummy' embroidered on them. You know those reports yesterday saying that Jamie Lynn Spears had sent Bristol Palin a bunch of baby gifts as a kindly reminder that she isn't the only teenage girl to bring shame on her family by letting a redneck hump her without a condom until she got pregnant? Yeah, didn't happen. Jamie Lynn Spears' mother Lynne has denied the whole story. If that's the case, poor old Bristol Palin. It's one thing to illuminate the schism between Sarah Palin's personal and professional ideals while watching her unborn baby get hijacked as a political football by all sides, but getting the stinkeye from Zoey 101? That has to sting.
Heartbreaking news - Sarah Palin's illegitimate grandkid will grow up bereft of overpriced burp cloths with 'Yummy' embroidered on them. You know those reports yesterday saying that Jamie Lynn Spears had sent Bristol Palin a bunch of baby gifts as a kindly reminder that she isn't the only teenage girl to bring shame on her family by letting a redneck hump her without a condom until she got pregnant? Yeah, didn't happen. Jamie Lynn Spears' mother Lynne has denied the whole story. If that's the case, poor old Bristol Palin. It's one thing to illuminate the schism between Sarah Palin's personal and professional ideals while watching her unborn baby get hijacked as a political football by all sides, but getting the stinkeye from Zoey 101? That has to sting.
Don’t Worry Sarah Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears Feels Your Pain
Now that she's officially the world's most prematurely randy underage teenager, Bristol Palin must feel like she hasn't got a friend in the world. But it's OK, because there's one girl thousands of miles away who knows exactly what Bristol Palin's going through, and that's former pregnant teenager Jamie Lynn Spears. According to reports, Jamie Lynn Spears was so moved by the story of how Sarah Palin's daughter had loads of underage unprotected sex with a redneck hockey player until she ended up getting accidentally pregnant that she's sent her a gift. And, who knows, Jamie Lynn Spears might even end up making the trip to Alaska to teach Bristol Palin all about the joys of becoming a young mother. Or at least she would if only her little brat would stop screaming and crying and begging for attention and stealing the best years of her life away from her all the time. But otherwise, yeah.
Now that she's officially the world's most prematurely randy underage teenager, Bristol Palin must feel like she hasn't got a friend in the world. But it's OK, because there's one girl thousands of miles away who knows exactly what Bristol Palin's going through, and that's former pregnant teenager Jamie Lynn Spears. According to reports, Jamie Lynn Spears was so moved by the story of how Sarah Palin's daughter had loads of underage unprotected sex with a redneck hockey player until she ended up getting accidentally pregnant that she's sent her a gift. And, who knows, Jamie Lynn Spears might even end up making the trip to Alaska to teach Bristol Palin all about the joys of becoming a young mother. Or at least she would if only her little brat would stop screaming and crying and begging for attention and stealing the best years of her life away from her all the time. But otherwise, yeah.
