Bret Michaels - HecklerSpray

Bret Michaels Reminds Us Of Hilarious Accident While Suing The Tony Awards

March 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Bret Michaels – a man who looks like a horrible scientific hybrid of Axl Rose, a pirate and a drag queen – is suing the Tony Awards. Why? Possibly because of his dunderheaded sense of spatial awareness (or lack of it).

In 2009, Michaels performed some awful poodle rock at the Tonys and walked slap bang into a giant bit of set. It was very, very funny (video over the jump).

However, the dumbass singer is now suing the Tonys, stating that it more than likely caused his brain hemorrhage. Like we’re supposed to believe there’s a brain in there!

Bret Michaels Has Had Heart Surgery… But Did Doctors Find One?

January 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Rocker and tight-faced oddball Bret Michaels had successful surgery at a hospital somewhere in America (do you really care which one?) on his heart. And a miracle happened! Doctors not only found a heart, but they managed to repair a hole in it while they were there!

Of course, Billy Ray Cyrus will be hoping doctors can mend his heart after Michaels ran off with his wife. Allegedly. She’s obviously got a thing for men with awful, awful haircuts.

Michaels, of course, was the frontman for the band Poison… and… well… somehow, he’s stayed famous, despite looking like an ageing wrestler with his face trapped inside a pair of tights.

Bret Michaels: Inflamed, Pus-Filled Appendix Of Love

April 13th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

We have bad news for anyone who wanted to see Bret Michaels perform in Seaworld San Antonio on Sunday.

Your life has gone spectacularly wrong. Oh, and also Bret Michaels couldn’t perform there because he was busy being rushed to hospital to have an appendectomy. That appendectomy hasn’t happened yet, because first Bret Michaels needs to hire a VH1 crew to film a reality TV show about him going out on a series of dates with several potential surgeons, who’ll gradually be whittled down until Bret finds one with an appropriate level of skank, who’ll then be allowed to perform the procedure on him in the special live two-hour season finale.

What? That isn’t the case at all? In fact Bret Michaels had his appendectomy yesterday and none of it was filmed for a reality show? Oh Bret Michaels, you’re such an incredible let down sometimes.

Bret Michaels Gets A Crushed Face On Stage (With Video)

June 9th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Brett Michaels has spent most of his life trying hard to grossly offend God.

We’re serious here. When played backwards every single one of his albums whines on about how it was an stupid move for the Most High to invent male pattern baldness, and how Brett is keeping a tally of every single bandanna/wig combo he has to buy and one day he’s gonna submit some sort of heavenly reimbursement form.

Brett’s been mad alright – and now God seems madder. We say that only because He might have tried to kill Michaels in the face recently – on TV too.