Ahh, the 1980s. They’re back, apparently, thanks to a new film about a magic hot tub, and what a decade!

Depressed, unemployed miners moped around in wine bars wearing tiny little fluorescent shorts and boob tubes. Businessmen carried mobile phones in rucksacks on their backs.

Absolutely everyone drank cocktails, ladies with feathery blonde hair attended aerobics classes every Thursday, and who could ever forget those three gorgeous pin-ups battling to tighten everyone’s chinos– Debbie Harry, the one from Bananarama, the pretty lady in Culture Club?

Yes, it was quite a time, and after the jump, you can enjoy a list of the ten greatest movies from a decade that stuck two big fingers up at the pipe smoking beardos who made the 1970s all bulbous and prog-rock.

First Blood

Stallone plays an angry killing machine who has taken to wandering through middle America in an almighty huff to get over Vietnam. It begins with him poking around a tiny little hick town in search of a missing friend, but in a feature length Dr Pepper advert prophecy (what’s the worst that could happen?), he soon ends up lurking in the local woods, attempting to butcher hundreds of cops using old bits of tree and a hunting knife.

Robocop

The 1980s celebrated the extreme use of violence, and they don’t come much more gruesome than Robocop – the tale of a bobby getting shot to smithereens, before coming back to life as a robot, making him a bit like Darth Vader, only not really. In amongst the people getting shot in the face lurks a tale about the human spirit, and how it can never really die. Moving.

Purple Rain

Prince plays The Kid, a troubled young musician who just wants to be famous. Great scenes include: Prince pootling down country lanes on his purple moped, dressed like a neon dandy. Prince making bitchy comments about other people to hide his own unhappiness. And Prince doing what he does best – just being Prince. A masterpiece.

The Breakfast Club

Quite probably the late John Hughes’s finest hour and a half, The Breakfast Club is the story of a geek, a twit, a prom thing, a doofus, a goth, a hippy, a dimwit, a douche bag, a moron, a stupid face, a nomark, a male model, a twunt, a muscle Mary, a dork, a twat, a gimp, and a numbnuts all sitting around through a long Saturday detention, attempting to figure out how they will ever get along. In the end they do, as they come together and rally against the common enemy – teachers! And parents! And probably their teacher’s parents!

9 ½ Weeks

Pre-op Mickey Rourke plays a mysterious smooth talker, who spends most of the film making love to Kim Basinger using increasingly kinky techniques such as: smearing food all over a lady’s torso, doing it down alleyways. This makes Kim Basinger feel really sexy, but it also drives her to the edge of insanity. Why? Because Rourke might be great in bed, but he just doesn’t seem like particularly good husband material. As you can imagine, this enraged most of the facial haired feminists/lesbians watching.

Scarface

In 1983’s Scarface, Al Pacino introduced the world to his new acting technique, known in the trade as ‘shouting’. It has served him well. Anyway, in this, he played Tony Montana – a moody Cuban man climbing the cocaine career ladder in 1980s Florida, whilst simultaneously sporting lots of loud shirts, attempting to woo Michelle Pfeiffer with some godawful disco dancing, and eventually making friends with a gun that fires grenades!

Breakdance: The Movie

In a decade awash with great underdog stories – The Karate Kid, Rocky IV, Teen Wolf – this was by far the most moving. It’s the tale of a frustrated young ballerina making friends with some macho bodypoppers, before earning her stripes taking down suckers in street dancing battles. The final sequence features three free spirits teaching boring old people what being young and sexy is all about. The tears flowed like free Ribena that day, friends.

Body Heat

For those who haven’t seen it, Body Heat is ace. You’ve got Kathleen Turner in the days when she was gorgeous (ie. Before she played Chandler’s DAD in Friends), the brilliant William Hurt, then you throw Ted Danson and Mickey Rourke into the mix, and you’ve literally just blown our minds. It’s the tale of an arch seductress making William Hurt feel very cramped in the underpants, mainly by showing him her boobs more than just the once. Great stuff.

Fletch

Some insist that Chevy Chase is probably the most underrated actor of all time, which is a bold statement, and definitely not true at all. Although he is pretty good in Fletch. He plays an investigative journalist who likes dressing up and pretending to be other people in a bid to out corrupt cops and humiliate drugs barons. In some ways, it’s a bit like James Bond. Although, in other ways, it’s nothing like James Bond. And, on the downside, the sequel is total bollocks.

The Man With Two Brains

With those appalling Pink Panther movies, and a so-so cameo in 30 Rock, it’s sometimes hard to remember just how good Steve Martin once was, but it’s probably fair to say that back in the late 70s and early 1980s, he couldn’t be touched. The Jerk is one of the all-time greats, as is this – the story of a man who is in love with a woman’s mind… that’s actually in a jar! Cue hilarity.

This was a guest post by Josh Burt from Interestment which, as you should know by now, is good.

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We've all moaned about the seemingly endless remakes being churned out by Hollywood these days.

Whether it's pointless shot-by-shot rehashes of Psycho or awful renditions of classic British films such as Get Carter and the Italian Job, it seems nothing is immune to Tinseltown's obsession with recycling. When was the last time producers in Hollywood had an original idea?

Well, hecklerspray has decided to help the ailing American movie monolith by coming up with 10 films they should remake. It hasn't been easy. A lot of films on the list we love. But we are a giving site and have decided to stick our heads on the block. So why do it? Well, like we said, most of the films listed are films we love. But maybe it's time we updated them. That could be for a variety of reasons. Some films started as great ideas but just ended up as a pile of shit, while others have dated badly and could be improved upon by the latest special effects techniques. There are also movies that could simply do with a bath and clean clothing.

Oh, there is one proviso. George Lucas cannot get his hands on any of them. Here goes:

10. The Breakfast Club (1985)

Ok, a controversial choice. Everyone loves this movie. But it is a rites of passage film and for it to succeed with later generations it needs a new set of clothes and a new MP3 collection. Oh, and while you are at it, could you make sure the two girls in it are more attractive than Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy.

9. Ghostbusters (1984)

We know, another controversial choice, but we watched it the other day and the special effects looked really ropey. Of course, when we watched in our youth we thought they were cutting edge. But then again we also thought the Commodore 64 was state-of-the-art technology and Elite was the greatest game ever made. Times change. It's like when you watch those who old dinosaur films from the 50s and 60s and Raquel Welch is being attacked by lizards magnified several times to look big. Ghostbusters is starting to look like that. Just make sure Bill Murray's in it.

8. Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

This is a great movie. But just think what they could do with it now. We would put Peter Jackson at the helm, but only if he agreed to a limit of 1 hour 45 minutes in which to cram it in.

7. Battle Royale (2000)

We're astonished that there hasn't already been an American remake of this hugely popular Japanese cult classic about kids kicking the crap out of each other on an island. Just think of the carnage.

UPDATE: Apparently there was a remake of this, but we rule that it doesn’t count because it had a different name and Vinnie Jones was in it. Nothing starring Vinnie Jones counts.

6. Weird Science (1985)

We mentioned this in the pub the other day and not one person raised any objection. It's a great film and has not particularly dated. The real fascination is over who would play Kelly LeBrock's part. The crap TV series in the 90s does not count.

5. Outlaw (2007)

This much-derided British film about a bunch of ordinary citizens that decide to take the law into their own hands could have been so good – but it really wasn't. Keep the same premise, but give it a much better script and it's a
sure-fire winner.

4. Risky Business (1983)

We love this film, but we just hate the fact that it has Tom Cruise in it.

3. Waterloo (1970)

This is a fabulous film about the last days of Napoleon's reign, but the battle scenes could do with a bit of spicing up. Just as long as whoever does it sticks to the facts. No, the Americans were not there!

2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956, 1978)

OK, so it's been remade twice already, but both are superb films. Plus, the political undercurrents in the film make it a must to be updated for each generation.

1. The Star Wars prequels (1999-2005)

We know what you are thinking, not again! But remember how excited you were when George Lucas announced he was going to make them. Admit it. You were like a giddy schoolgirl. You didn't know of the horrors there were to unfold: the crap dialogue, the pointless plotlines… Jar Jar bloody Binks. You couldn't wait to see it. Well, imagine if they actually did make it again, but with George Lucas as only a producer, and somebody else directing it, and another person writing the dialogue. Wouldn't it be nice? They could keep Natalie Portman and the kung-fu kicking Yoda and just start again.