Articles tagged with: celebrity break up
Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
Katie Price And Piers Morgan: A Perfect Reason To Blow Up Your TV!
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
Paris Hilton & Benji Madden Get Torn Apart By A Universe That Hates Seeing Two Simultaneous Uglies
Our breakfast toast this morning was slightly overdone so we tried to compensate by putting jelly on both sides. The results were surprisingly sticky. We're just throwing that out there in case the Drudge Report, E! Online or the National Enquirer want to run with it as a headline. Not interested? Perhaps they would be if they knew we used two different jelly flavours - one of them mint. Also we unconventionally spread it on there with the back of a spoon. Still nobody interested? Its free you know - we don't want a cut or anything. Just take the story. You could use the headline hecklerspray double jellies its morning toast with spoon from filthy sink pile. That'd be far more interesting than the story most of them are running about the Paris Hilton/Benji Madden break-up. C'mon you websites - think of the increased internet traffic!
Our breakfast toast this morning was slightly overdone so we tried to compensate by putting jelly on both sides. The results were surprisingly sticky. We're just throwing that out there in case the Drudge Report, E! Online or the National Enquirer want to run with it as a headline. Not interested? Perhaps they would be if they knew we used two different jelly flavours - one of them mint. Also we unconventionally spread it on there with the back of a spoon. Still nobody interested? Its free you know - we don't want a cut or anything. Just take the story. You could use the headline hecklerspray double jellies its morning toast with spoon from filthy sink pile. That'd be far more interesting than the story most of them are running about the Paris Hilton/Benji Madden break-up. C'mon you websites - think of the increased internet traffic!
Jennifer Aniston Still a ‘Lady’, John Mayer Keeps Moths in His Wallet
John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity. It's not that we didn't expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into obscurity had he kept his mouth shut about the relationship and consequent split. So obviously he's gone for the old 'talk about her to the press in an annoying fashion, just so people don't forget who I am for at least two extra weeks, and places like that amazing hecklerspray.com will write about me again' route that so many ineffectual Z-listers opt for. Well we won't, John Mayer. We wo... oh. We have. Bugger.
John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity. It's not that we didn't expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into obscurity had he kept his mouth shut about the relationship and consequent split. So obviously he's gone for the old 'talk about her to the press in an annoying fashion, just so people don't forget who I am for at least two extra weeks, and places like that amazing hecklerspray.com will write about me again' route that so many ineffectual Z-listers opt for. Well we won't, John Mayer. We wo... oh. We have. Bugger.
Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. This is News, How, Exactly?
Talking about Miley Cyrus all the time may be bad enough, but then we have to go and bring in this Jonas Brothers kid in just to see how far things can actually go downhill. As if covering the near-endless slew of nearly naked pictures of a 15-year-old isn't bad enough, now the media feels compelled to report on the fact that two 15-year-olds used to go out with each other. For a bit. And young Hannah Montana has gone and told us all about it. And hecklerspray apparently feels the need to talk about it. If there was an ounce of dignity left in the world, this 'news' is surely the swansong for that poor little blighter. It never stood a chance. Yet there it is, splashed all over the entertainment press: "Miley Cyrus: Breaking Up With Nick Jonas Was Hard" or the much more tempting: "Miley Cyrus: ‘Maybe I’ll End Up Marrying Nick Jonas’" - every publication getting in its own two cents on the matter, covering a two year relationship between two very young teenagers. And this is news. That people want to read. Can someone wake us up from the medically-enforced coma we're about to put ourselves in when the world stops being so clinically insane, thanks.
Talking about Miley Cyrus all the time may be bad enough, but then we have to go and bring in this Jonas Brothers kid in just to see how far things can actually go downhill. As if covering the near-endless slew of nearly naked pictures of a 15-year-old isn't bad enough, now the media feels compelled to report on the fact that two 15-year-olds used to go out with each other. For a bit. And young Hannah Montana has gone and told us all about it. And hecklerspray apparently feels the need to talk about it. If there was an ounce of dignity left in the world, this 'news' is surely the swansong for that poor little blighter. It never stood a chance. Yet there it is, splashed all over the entertainment press: "Miley Cyrus: Breaking Up With Nick Jonas Was Hard" or the much more tempting: "Miley Cyrus: ‘Maybe I’ll End Up Marrying Nick Jonas’" - every publication getting in its own two cents on the matter, covering a two year relationship between two very young teenagers. And this is news. That people want to read. Can someone wake us up from the medically-enforced coma we're about to put ourselves in when the world stops being so clinically insane, thanks.
