That’s it. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have definitely split up. Definitely. There’s incontrovertible proof.
What? A confirmation? A formal confirmation of the split by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie themselves? Don’t be silly. But we don’t need a formal confirmation when we’ve got proof this watertight – Brad Pitt has just bought a house. A house with a cave attached.
And, yes, look, we know that Brad Pitt has bought several homes in the past, and none of the previous ones seemed to signal a romantic split from Angelina Jolie of any kind, but you’re missing the big picture here. This one has a cave. A cave, damn it! Remember when you spent $700,000 on a house with a cave last time you split up with your girlfriend? This is EXACTLY THE SAME THING.
Read More >>>
If any of you hear a soft squeaking noise today, ignore it – it’s just Jennifer Aniston polishing her genitals.
Or maybe not. Maybe it’s Brad Pitt‘s ratty beard bristling with discomfort. Or all of the Brangelina kids whining “Why mummy? Why?” at Angelina Jolie in all of their respective languages. Oh, who are we kidding? It’s definitely Jennifer Aniston buffing her tumpsy.
And she’s wise to because, if reports are to be believed, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up. Of course, sources close to the couple have denied the rumours, but let’s ignore them. Because, people of Earth, it looks like your chances of copping off with either Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie have just risen from ‘impossible’ to ‘statistically inconceivable’. Result!
Read More >>>
Daniel Edwards is a weird art-perv. In fairness, most art is based on someone being a perv.
The Venus de Milo is the voyeuristic peerings by a man staring at a woman coming out of the shower and Tracey Emin‘s tent was a list of all the men foolish enough to bear down on her knuckle shaped skull. So yeah, it’s no surprise that Daniel Edwards likes making art that makes his trousers plump.
Previously, he’s made sculptures of Suri Cruise‘s first turds and a baby crowning out of Britney Spears‘ twat. Now, he’s gazing at Hollywood’s first couple – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Read More >>>
Roseanne Barr isn’t really known for being particularly funny, but this time she’s managed to make us all laugh.
See, there are times when celebrities get angry at other celebrities – they usually mean a few cross words and not much else. We smirk at these times. We enjoy. We forget.
Then there are times when a celebrity unleashes a furious rant at other celebrities – and this is exactly what Roseanne Barr has gone and done, and in whose direction?
Why, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, of course. The easiest of the targets, as we all know too well.
Read More >>>
When Angelina Jolie's impending twins finally spill out, they will likely be accompanied by sunbeams and rainbows.
The whole world waits on edge, listening intently for the double baby-wail emanating from some crummy French town.
Everyone, no doubt, will demand to see pictures – and all magazines everywhere know this.
That's why there's such an intense bidding war going on.
And if you're the mag that offers the most money, you get the pics – along with a strange stipulation.
You could never print the term Brangelina behind your glossy cover again.
Read More >>>
