Articles tagged with: Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt Quite Likes Angelina Jolie, Apparently
Brad Pitt's been a star for a while now - he knows that revealing personal stories open movies, so has he got a doozy for you! The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button opens in a fortnight, and Brad Pitt knows that he's got to dig as deep as he can to make his highbrow arthouse movie that's based on an 86-year-old short story seen by as many people as possible. So here's what he's come up with. You know Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt's longterm partner and the mother of his children both biological and adopted? Brad Pitt says he likes her. We know.
Angelina Jolie Is A Knife-Hurling Maniac, Apparently
Angelina Jolie loves knives, this much we know - the woman literally eats, drinks and wipes her bottom with a knife in her hand. Angelina Jolie loves knives so much that she picks her movies by blindly throwing a knife at a random pile of scripts. What's more, we hear that Angelina's adoption process involves a fierce knife-off in an orphanage, with the last child standing being chosen has her new baby. Or, in possibly more accurate news, Angelina Jolie allegedly flings knives at walls during fights, and Brad Pitt has bought her some anger management classes because he's so terrified.
Brad Pitt Gets All “I! Hate! EVERYONE! (In The Paparazzi)”
You know how Brad Pitt is constantly getting stalked by the paparazzi wherever he goes, much to his clear annoyance? Well, you'll never guess what he thinks of them. In an interview with The Today Show, Brad Pitt has announced that he hates the paparazzi, but he loves his family. Steady on there, Brad - much more of this controversial 'good things are good and bad things are bad' talk and there's a decent chance that you'll end up literally melting our mind. What? You like your family? That's literally crazy. Video after the jump.
Brad Pitt’s Own Children Now More Sensible Than Brad Pitt
It's obvious that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pick their childrens' names via a complex system of shuffled Scrabble tiles, darts and fevered Glossolalia. Although it has plus sides - like the way that it gives Brad and Angelina a bit more of the attention that they so obviously crave - giving their children a variety of stupid names was always going to come back and kick Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie up the bum. And now it has. You see, Brad Pitt says that Shiloh Nouvel - the oldest biological Jolie-Pitt - has decided that Shiloh is a stupid name for a child. So now she'll only answer to the name John. We can only pray that this trend ends now - while John is still a funny name because of the gender issue, all it'll take is for Pax Thien to decide he wants to be called Alan and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be laughed out of the Hollywood elite.
Jennifer Aniston On Brad Pitt: Dear God, There’s More
Jennifer Aniston might have insulted Angelina Jolie in public this week, but that doesn't mean she's not a good person. Because she is. Jennifer Aniston's 'uncool' comment about Angelina Jolie just came from the anger of having her husband stolen away by another woman. And, despite that, Jennifer Aniston still has nothing but nice words to say about Brad Pitt. On Oprah. Just before a new film of hers opens. That woman's a saint. Jennifer Aniston told Oprah that she thinks Brad Pitt is 'great'. She harbours no bad feelings towards him, even though they both have movies coming out on the same day. And, in the spirit of good sportsmanship, Jennifer Aniston even refused to say whose film she thought was better - Brad Pitt's elegant adaptation of a classic F Scott Fitzgerald text, or her own movie about a naughty dog who eats a man's cake and is funny.
Brad Pitt Duffed Around By His Own Security
Brad Pitt doesn't have many requirements when choosing security - it's nice if they're physically intimidating and it helps if they know who Brad Pitt is. Because if they don't, there's quite a big chance that something weird will happen. Something like the events of Monday night, in fact, when - at a preview of his new film The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button - Brad Pitt was grabbed and shoved around by a security guard who mistook him for a photographer. Although manhandling the star you've been hired to protect at his own movie preview in a venue covered with several giant posters of his face might seem like the mother of all etiquette violations, we can't really blame the security guard here. After all, Brad Pitt had grown a moustache for the preview, and therefore the guard probably thought he was being bumrushed by Private Walker out of Dad's Army.
Jennifer Aniston On Angelina Jolie: Essentially “WOOOARRRGH!”
Jennifer Aniston isn't someone you mess with, unless you enjoy four years of nothing followed by one sentence in a magazine. Just look at Angelina Jolie. She wronged Jennifer Aniston in the most hurtful way possible, by stealing Brad Pitt from her on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith, and now, several years later, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she's spoiling for a fight. In the new issue of Vogue, Aniston has described Angelina Jolie as "really uncool." These words are bound to upset Angelina Jolie, especially since Jennifer Aniston wasn't even talking about the Brad Pitt thing - instead she was describing Angelina's Dunlop trainers, 1980s adoption of the failed Betamax video system and her abiding love of the music of Jamiroquai. Lord knows how Angelina Jolie will react to this - chances are she's going to write the word 'SKANK' on Jennifer Aniston's geography coursebook or something.
Angelina Jolie Will Marry Brad Pitt Just To Shut The Kids Up
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's attitude to marriage is simple - only gay marriage or Jennifer Aniston being really narked off will allow it. Or at least that's what we thought. Now, as part of her confusing 'go against everything she's ever said, done or thought' promotion for The Changeling, Angelina Jolie has admitted that she will inevitably get married to Brad Pitt, but only to stop her children from pestering them for a wedding. It just goes to show how persuasive a small army of multinational children can be. If they can make Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie get married, just think what else the Jolie-Pitt kids could achieve if they harnessed their pester power properly. They could even aim for the impossible. You know what we mean - if they all work in unison, they could convince Angelina Jolie to make a film that doesn't stink like a corpseful of turds for once.
