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This just in: Kelly Osbourne can fit into fashion sample sizes and she has become as gleefully smug as she is thin.
Isn’t that just wonderful. The reality star, who lost an alarming amount of weight after being on Dancing With The Stars this year, has been on several shows talking about how she lost weight.
Mostly, Kelly credits not being a pig and lifting her buttocks off the sofa, one at a time, and working out for 30-minutes-per-day.
So, less pies. More butt lifting. Got that? Read More >>>
Kelly Osbourne first appeared on the radar as a kinda-chunky potty-mouthed brat with daft hair and a house covered in dog-shit. Then, she releases a couple of singles and does a duet with her dad.
Then she almost disappeared.
Well, it seems that, in the interim, she’s been losing weight and now she wants us all to see it as a picture of her looking svelte in a bra appeared on Twitter. That’s not really that newsworthy… but the fact she joined the Pussycat Dolls is so weird that we really ought to relay it to you all. Read More >>>
No. Just no. There’s a line, it was already crossed and now it’s being urinated on from the other side. This has to stop. Right now.
One more time, for the road, Miley Cyrus has got half naked, someone has taken photos and one more time, for the road, they have been uploaded on to the internet. And we all know how very much the world of the internet loves pictures of 15-year-olds in small amounts of clothing.
She’s fifteen, people. Stop it. If this were a no-name young girl from Bognor Regis then whomever uploaded these pictures would probably receive something of a slapped wrist by the local authorities, but because it’s a superstar Disney child-celeb it’s all fine to go plastering half the internet with scantly-clad photographs of her.
Go on – search for it. You’ll find them on supposedly respectable sites, including FOX News. This is the same FOX News that cries crocodile tears and attempts to whip up public outrage every time anything ‘immoral’ happens in the world. Apparently a small girl in her underwear doesn’t qualify for that same outrage – in fact, it’s news.
Jessica Simpson says her dad didn’t fit her for her first training bra.
Let’s face it, no one ever thought that he did. In fact, we all went about blissfully without ever having thought about it at all. But now that the topic has been broached and your day has been ruined by the mental image, all we can think is “Joe Simpson fit his daughter for a training bra?? Ewwww…” That, and, “We missed a story about Joe Simpson fitting his daughter for a training bra??”
We apologise for missing such an important, vomit-inducing piece of journalism. It shall not happen again. We will be the first to supply you with details when Joe Simpson details accounts of fitting his daughter for her second and third training bras, as well as every subsequent regular bra up to the present.
First the bad news, then the good – Lily Allen has become a little bit unemployed; but at least it means you won't be blindsided by pictures of her in her bra any more.
Fancy lingerie firm Agent Provocateur has decided to ditch Lily Allen as the face of its company, it's been reported.
Although Lily Allen is said to be 'gutted' about being dropped, the news does now mean that the only times you'll ever see Lily Allen in her bra are if you stalk her with a video camera or if she's about to have sex with you. Either way, we have the number of a very good doctor we'd like you to have.
Finding someone to be the face of your underwear collection is a daunting task – if you follow your instincts and pick a ferociously sexy supermodel, you'll just end up intimidating your customers away.
So what's the other option? How about a three-foot-tall chav who looks a little bit like an Ewok? Of course – it couldn't be any more obvious, which is why Lily Allen has signed up to be the new face of lingerie company Agent Provocateur. While Lily Allen might be an unconventional choice to model underwear, we're sure that her Agent Provocateur campaign will go down a storm with real women who don't like to be patronised. And the blind. We hear the blind are going to be an especially key winter Agent Provocateur demographic.
