We’ve never chained a male escort to the wall of our house and then threatened him a bunch of times, but we were open to the possibility of it until Boy George arsed it all up by getting arrested for that very thing.

Now, if we ever found ourselves in the situation where we’d chained a male Norwegian prostitute to a wall against his will, not only would we have to suffer the ignominy of knowing that we’re basically just following in Boy George’s footsteps, but we’ll also be acutely aware that we’d probably end up in court for it – as Boy George has found for himself, since he’s just been in court learning that his formal trial will begin on February 25. It sounds bad for Boy George, but it isn’t – we hear that spending Christmas day dreading the thought of being criminally prosecuted for chaining a male escort to a wall is the absolute must-have trend in Milan this season.