Articles tagged with: Boy George
Remember how Boy George once cameoed on The A-Team, a show about men jailed for a crime they didn't commit? Well now Boy George has more in common with them than ever. Because he too has been jailed for a crime that... oh no, wait, Boy George did chain that Norwegian prostitute up and threaten to kill him, didn't he? In that case, ignore everything we just said. Boy George has been sentenced to 15 month in jail for falsely imprisoning a manwhore. Logic states that he'll be out in seven for good behaviour, but reality states that he probably won't because he's a dickhead.
Bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, let this be a lesson - no beating up manwhores with a chain. We're being serious. It doesn't go down well at all. Boy George, king of the bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, has been found guilty of handcuffing a Norwegian male prostitute to a wall, beating him with a chain and threatening to kill him, and now he's probably going to jail for it. It just goes to show - never copy Boy George. It was true when you decided to decided to grow those nasty white-boy dreadlocks and it's true now.
Remember when that male prostitute said Boy George chained him to a wall, hit him and threatened to kill him? Well, turns out it's true. Partially - Boy George has admitted that he did handcuff Audun Carlsen up, and that he did hit him a bit, but only consensually. But Boy George swears that he wasn't going to kill him, because a dead manwhore wouldn't be great for his career. Remember, Boy George once painted his jaw black and pretended to be David Bowie on Celebrity Stars In Their Eyes, so he obviously knows a great career move when he sees one.
There's an old saying that goes 'An Englishman's home is his castle, and if he ever wants to imprison a Scandinavian male prostitute in his castle against his wishes then that's probably OK'.
But sadly it seems like America, the so-called land of the free, has got some issues about people chaining male prostitutes to their walls and vaguely insulting them for a bit. Just ask Boy George.
Boy George is just about to set off on a tour of America, except that now he can't get a visa because of his upcoming prostitute-chaining trial. Not that Boy George should worry too much, though. We know for a fact that there are plenty of other countries who'll give you visas no matter how many terrified manwhores you've chained up to a wall in your sordid little sex dungeon. Um, we read that in a book or something once. Ahem.
Boy George is taking it back to the streets of New York; the very same ones that he tore a new a-hole a couple of years back. But rather than being armed with a sweeping brush and a dashing outfit, he'll be back to what he's more used to. Well, he'll be back to what he was more used to a decade or two back when he still had a career beyond 'celebrity' DJing. That's right sanitation workers of NYC - Boy George is going to play a gig for you! All for you! Even you! And you! Not you though.
Everyone's got their own hilarious crossed-wires story about a male prostitute, and Boy George is certainly no exception.
You see, it's been claimed that Boy George fell prey to that age-old male prostitute mix-up where one person thinks you both just want some cursory, meaningless, soul-destroying sex and the other one just wants to chain everyone to a wall against their will and threaten them for a bit. We've all been there.
Except that Boy George says didn't do any of that - at Snaresbrook Crown Court yesterday, Boy George pleaded not guilty to false imprisonment. Lucky his charge wasn't Looking More And More Like Phil Collins With An Underactive Thyroid, because then they would have thrown away the keys.
We've never chained a male escort to the wall of our house and then threatened him a bunch of times, but we were open to the possibility of it until Boy George arsed it all up by getting arrested for that very thing.
Now, if we ever found ourselves in the situation where we'd chained a male Norwegian prostitute to a wall against his will, not only would we have to suffer the ignominy of knowing that we're basically just following in Boy George's footsteps, but we'll also be acutely aware that we'd probably end up in court for it - as Boy George has found for himself, since he's just been in court learning that his formal trial will begin on February 25. It sounds bad for Boy George, but it isn't - we hear that spending Christmas day dreading the thought of being criminally prosecuted for chaining a male escort to a wall is the absolute must-have trend in Milan this season.
There's an unwritten rule in the male escort business that says 'don't go to Boy George's house unless you want to be chained up and falsely imprisoned against your will', but don't ask us how we know that.
It's emerging that one male escort didn't heed this warning, and now Boy George has been arrested and charged with false imprisonment for it. Apparently Boy George and another man invited Norwegian escort Auden Carlsen into his home, chained him to a wall and promptly went about threatening him in all kinds of undisclosed ways.
Wait a minute, Boy George is gay?
