We live in a world where, astonishingly, Mike Tyson is actively encouraged to sing. And not any old tune. We live in a world where Mike Tyson is encouraged to sing The Girl From Ipanema.
We’ve all been waiting for a boxer to go Bossa Nova haven’t we?
Better yet, is that Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist and yet, for some reason, he continues to get work in movies and television. It must be great for Desiree Washington to see him enjoying the life of a celebrity again, right? Anyway, if you want to see him sing, get over the jump.
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When you were a child, chances are that your dreams of an older you revolved around being an astronaut, a surgeon, a model or something astonishingly vapid which, rightly, saw you roundly mocked by adults when you went to bed.
However, if you’re Michelle Williams, your dream was to attack Mike Tyson in the face ’til bits of it broke off.
That’s right, the Brokeback actress has ‘fessed up that, when she was a smaller version of herself, her dream was to be a professional boxer so she could take on the former heavyweight champion of the world. If his court cases are anything to go off, he may well have been up for battering a girl in the ring.
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Aww! Does everyone remember Iron Mike Tyson? You remember him right? Sure you do! He’s the cuddly, wuddly man with a tiger for a pet and a funny little mouse voice who used to punch people for a living!
Yeah! That guy!
Of course, since his boxing days were over, he went onto do to a whole bunch of wholesome stuff! Most notably, getting convicted of raping a woman, getting a dodgy tattoo around his eye socket and, the worst of all his crimes, starring in dismal film, The Hangover! And now, he’s kissing pigeons and whispering “I wuv you” to them where their ears are supposed to be.
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What do you get if you cross a patriotic British boxing Muslim, a warped owl-faced England hating clerical Muslim, and a Tory MP?
You guessed it; 3 morons.
Let us begin with the warped, owl-faced England-hating clerical Muslim. His name's Omar Bakri Mohammed, he's estimated to be about 50 years old and comes from Syria. Omar, currently exiled in Lebanon after having been deported from the UK for being a rather naughty individual indeed – he once described the 9/11 hijackers as the 'Magnificent 19' (very funny, Omar, but the joke will be on you when you discover that 19 central characters is gonna be tough to cram into 120 pages of script; there's a reason why we in the west chose 7. Well, it was because we stole it off Kurosawa, but that's an entirely different matter, Omar, the point we're getting to follows shortly after these brackets) – has accused Amir Khan of being a prick, basically.
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Amir Khan Is A Little Jahil BoyWhat do you get if you cross a patriotic British boxing Muslim, a warped owl-faced England hating clerical Muslim, and a Tory MP?
You guessed it; 3 morons.
Let us begin with warped owl-faced England hating clerical Muslim; his name's Omar Bakri Mohammed, he's estimated to be about 50 years old and comes from Syria. Omar, currently exiled in Lebanon after having been deported from the UK for being a rather naughty individual indeed - he once described the 9/11 hijackers as the 'Magnificent 19' (very funny, Omar, but the joke will be on you when you discover that 19 central characters is gonna be tough to cram into 120 pages of script; there's a reason why we in the west chose 7. Well, it was because we stole it off Kurosawa, but that's an entirely different matter, Omar, the point we're getting to follows shortly after these brackets) - has accused Amir Khan, England's chocolate rose, of being a prick, basically.
