Articles tagged with: Book
Patrick Swayze Decides To Write His Entire Life Story
Plenty of people have profited from Patrick Swayze's cancer - and, yes novelty 'NOBODY PUTS PANCREATIC CANCER IN A CORNER' T-shirt vendors, we're looking at you. So why not Patrick Swayze himself? It's been reported that Patrick Swayze will pen a memoir with the help of his wife Lisa. The book will span Swayze's entire life - which means, unless things take a turn for the better soon, it's going to have an incredibly depressing ending. Because, Jesus, The Beast? Have you actually seen that thing? Talk about a terrible way to end an autobiography. Way to bum us all out, Patrick.
Plenty of people have profited from Patrick Swayze's cancer - and, yes novelty 'NOBODY PUTS PANCREATIC CANCER IN A CORNER' T-shirt vendors, we're looking at you. So why not Patrick Swayze himself? It's been reported that Patrick Swayze will pen a memoir with the help of his wife Lisa. The book will span Swayze's entire life - which means, unless things take a turn for the better soon, it's going to have an incredibly depressing ending. Because, Jesus, The Beast? Have you actually seen that thing? Talk about a terrible way to end an autobiography. Way to bum us all out, Patrick.
Britney Spears To Autobiographically Stretch Her Life Over 3 – 5 Thin Books
What we like most about the new administration doesn't have to do with change, but that our 20-year-old petition for a Lando Calrissian Star Wars spin-off may finally get some White House backing. Seriously, our script has been yellowing in our closet. Lucas doesn't know a good thing when he sees it - he must be racist. Why else would he refuse our package at the door? Over 100 times? Speaking of overly long hand-crafted literature that nobody except George Lucas should have to read - Britney Spears has just agreed to write her autobiography. Sorry, up to five autobiographies.
What we like most about the new administration doesn't have to do with change, but that our 20-year-old petition for a Lando Calrissian Star Wars spin-off may finally get some White House backing. Seriously, our script has been yellowing in our closet. Lucas doesn't know a good thing when he sees it - he must be racist. Why else would he refuse our package at the door? Over 100 times? Speaking of overly long hand-crafted literature that nobody except George Lucas should have to read - Britney Spears has just agreed to write her autobiography. Sorry, up to five autobiographies.
Some Guy Lies To Oprah, Resume Breathing Now
If it’s one thing that totally miffs Oprah, apart from half-eaten anything, it’s insincere jerks that misrepresent themselves on her show. Bastards. Seems it wasn’t that long ago that the Big O fell victim to the wily and deceitful James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces. Oprah, as you may recall, quickly came to Frey’s defense upon hearing the news that much of the book had been, er, made up, actually.
If it’s one thing that totally miffs Oprah, apart from half-eaten anything, it’s insincere jerks that misrepresent themselves on her show. Bastards. Seems it wasn’t that long ago that the Big O fell victim to the wily and deceitful James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces. Oprah, as you may recall, quickly came to Frey’s defense upon hearing the news that much of the book had been, er, made up, actually.
People In ‘Buying A JK Rowling Book’ Shocker
We're not heroin addicts, but if we were - and heroin was made of books about rubbish schoolboy wizards - we'd be screwed. Because if that was true, then JK Rowling would be our dealer. And Rowling is a mean dealer, too - she's been withholding our supply, probably until we break down and agree to let her become our pimp or something - but yesterday JK Rowling threw us a lifeline. Because yesterday JK Rowling released her new book The Tales Of Beedle The Bard - kind of like the methadone to Harry Potter's hardcore skag - and somewhat predictably it instantly became a bestseller.
We're not heroin addicts, but if we were - and heroin was made of books about rubbish schoolboy wizards - we'd be screwed. Because if that was true, then JK Rowling would be our dealer. And Rowling is a mean dealer, too - she's been withholding our supply, probably until we break down and agree to let her become our pimp or something - but yesterday JK Rowling threw us a lifeline. Because yesterday JK Rowling released her new book The Tales Of Beedle The Bard - kind of like the methadone to Harry Potter's hardcore skag - and somewhat predictably it instantly became a bestseller.
JK Rowling Writes A Book About, Oh, You Guessed
Ever since the last Harry Potter book came out, there's been a lack of shamefaced adults reading kid's books on the tube. And that's because now everyone's reading Twilight instead, despite the fact that reading a staunchly conservative abstinence manifesto dressed up as a slushy emo romance fantasy in front of other adults is far worse than reading Harry Potter. So hooray for JK Rowling, who tomorrow releases her new Harry Potter spin-off book The Tales of Beedle the Bard, either for charity or to help us identify idiots more easily on the tube. Merry Christmas to you too, JK!
Ever since the last Harry Potter book came out, there's been a lack of shamefaced adults reading kid's books on the tube. And that's because now everyone's reading Twilight instead, despite the fact that reading a staunchly conservative abstinence manifesto dressed up as a slushy emo romance fantasy in front of other adults is far worse than reading Harry Potter. So hooray for JK Rowling, who tomorrow releases her new Harry Potter spin-off book The Tales of Beedle the Bard, either for charity or to help us identify idiots more easily on the tube. Merry Christmas to you too, JK!
Amazon Pulls Stupid Scientology Book, Author Blames Stupid Tom Cruise
When the powers that be ordered all American readings of Huckleberry Finn be cancelled, the US school system complied immediately. And for good reason too - the western world simply wasn't ready for its interracial NAMBLA undertones. You know who was ready though? Perverts. But that's besides the point. Books still get banned you know. All the time - why just recently the British arm of Amazon.com reached into its electronic library, grabbed a tell-all work of non-fiction by the spine and thrashed it to and fro until the pages thereof had all fluttered loosely to the ground. Rumour has it the book was pulled by the heavy hand of Tom Cruise who, for the record, denies any involvement in this literary scandal. His influence is implied because the novel's topic is - you guessed it - Esoteric Christianity. Or whatever that thing is he's deep into.
When the powers that be ordered all American readings of Huckleberry Finn be cancelled, the US school system complied immediately. And for good reason too - the western world simply wasn't ready for its interracial NAMBLA undertones. You know who was ready though? Perverts. But that's besides the point. Books still get banned you know. All the time - why just recently the British arm of Amazon.com reached into its electronic library, grabbed a tell-all work of non-fiction by the spine and thrashed it to and fro until the pages thereof had all fluttered loosely to the ground. Rumour has it the book was pulled by the heavy hand of Tom Cruise who, for the record, denies any involvement in this literary scandal. His influence is implied because the novel's topic is - you guessed it - Esoteric Christianity. Or whatever that thing is he's deep into.
Maureen McCormick: Here’s The Story Of A Spazzed-Out Druggie
Looking back, the world fell in love with Marcia Brady because of her adorable hollow eyes and her wholesome trembling hyperactive paranoia. That's the reason why everyone's favourite episodes of The Brady Bunch is the one where Marcia Brady plumbs the squalid depths of addiction thanks to her years growing up in an abusive family, trading sex for drugs and being forced to deal with unwanted pregnancies. And that episode where Marcia Brady gets hammered on Quaaludes in Sammy Davis Jr's house? Oh Marcia Marcia Marcia. Wait, they're not episodes of The Brady Bunch at all - they're excerpts from Maureen McCormick's new book, Here's The Story: Surviving Marcia Brady And Finding My True Voice. You might think that Maureen McCormick has reached a new pitiful low by detailing her battles with depression and drug addiction in a book for cash, but you're wrong - she's nowhere near the pitiful low benchmark set by her participation in A Very Brady Christmas.
Looking back, the world fell in love with Marcia Brady because of her adorable hollow eyes and her wholesome trembling hyperactive paranoia. That's the reason why everyone's favourite episodes of The Brady Bunch is the one where Marcia Brady plumbs the squalid depths of addiction thanks to her years growing up in an abusive family, trading sex for drugs and being forced to deal with unwanted pregnancies. And that episode where Marcia Brady gets hammered on Quaaludes in Sammy Davis Jr's house? Oh Marcia Marcia Marcia. Wait, they're not episodes of The Brady Bunch at all - they're excerpts from Maureen McCormick's new book, Here's The Story: Surviving Marcia Brady And Finding My True Voice. You might think that Maureen McCormick has reached a new pitiful low by detailing her battles with depression and drug addiction in a book for cash, but you're wrong - she's nowhere near the pitiful low benchmark set by her participation in A Very Brady Christmas.
Inside New Britney Spears Book: Just Some Stuff About Her Mum
On the basis that wearing a nice dress and not crying is the best sign of mental recovery, Britney Spears is clearly back to her best. So there's obviously no better time to publish a book about Britney Spears; primarily her struggle with mental illness and her amazing revival. Admittedly it's still early days - Britney could have a relapse tomorrow and start throwing animals off motorway bridges, rendering the whole book obsolete - but there's nothing like striking while the iron's hot, is there? That's what Britney Spears' mother Lynne Spears thinks, because her Britney Spears book Through The Storm comes out next week. Copies have already leaked, and it seems it's more about what a brave and inspiring mother Lynne is than anything else. Which is true - Lynne Spears has bravely inspired us never to have kids in case we end up raising them as terribly as she's done with hers.
On the basis that wearing a nice dress and not crying is the best sign of mental recovery, Britney Spears is clearly back to her best. So there's obviously no better time to publish a book about Britney Spears; primarily her struggle with mental illness and her amazing revival. Admittedly it's still early days - Britney could have a relapse tomorrow and start throwing animals off motorway bridges, rendering the whole book obsolete - but there's nothing like striking while the iron's hot, is there? That's what Britney Spears' mother Lynne Spears thinks, because her Britney Spears book Through The Storm comes out next week. Copies have already leaked, and it seems it's more about what a brave and inspiring mother Lynne is than anything else. Which is true - Lynne Spears has bravely inspired us never to have kids in case we end up raising them as terribly as she's done with hers.
